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rs； and had applied to be taken on as a missionary lay…brother。 The Fathers took one look at him and turned him down。 Then he started drinking。 He lived in a little hotel on the edge of the Arab quarter。 I went to see the place later； it was a bar with a few rooms over it； kept by a Greek； smelling of hot oil and garlic and stale wine and old clothes； a place where the small Greek traders came and played draughts and listened to the wireless。 He stayed there a month drinking Greek absinthe； occasionally wandering out； they didn't know where； ing back and drinking again。 They were afraid he would e to harm …and followed him sometimes； but he only went to the church or took a car to the monastery outside the town。 They loved him there。 He's still loved； you see； wherever he goes； whatever condition he's in。 It's a thing about him he'll never lose。 You should have heard the proprietor and his family talk of him； tears running down their cheeks； they'd clearly robbed him right and left； but they'd looked after him and tried to make him eat his food。 That was the thing that shocked them about him； that he wouldn't eat； there he was with all that money； so thin。 Some of the clients of the place came in while we were talking in very peculiar' French； they all had the same story； such a good man； they said； it made them unhappy to see him so low。 They thought very ill of his family for leaving him like that； it couldn't happen with their people； they said； and I daresay they're right。
'Anyway； that was later； after the consulate I went straight to the monastery and saw the Superior。 He was a grim old Dutchman who had spent fifty years in Central Africa。 He told me his part of the story； how Sebastian had turned up； just as the consul said； with his beard and a suitcase； and asked to be admitted as a lay brother。 〃He was very earnest；〃 the Superior said' Cordelia imitated his…guttural tones； she had an aptitude for mimicry； I remembered； in the schoolroom … ' 〃Please do not think there is any doubt of that … he is quite sane and …quite in earnest。〃 He wanted to go to the bush； as far away as he could get； among the simplest people； to the cannibals。 The Superior said： 〃We have no cannibals in our missions。〃 He said； well； pygmies would do； or just a primitive village somewhere on a river； or lepers； lepers would do best of anything。 The Superior said： 〃We have plenty of lepers； but they live in our settlements with doctors and nuns。 It is all very orderly。〃 He thought again； and said perhaps lepers were not what he wanted； was there not some small church by a river … he always wanted a river you see which he could look after when the priest was away。 The Superior said： 〃Yes； there are such churches。 Now tell me about yourself。〃 〃Oh； I'm nothing；〃 he said。 〃We see some queer fish；〃 ' Cordelia lapsed again into mimicry； ' 〃he was a queer fish but he was very earnest。〃 The Superior told him about the novitiate and the training and said： 〃You are not a young man。 You do not seem strong to me。〃 He said： 〃No； I don't want to be trained。 I don't want to do things that need training。〃 The Superior said： 〃My friend； you need a missionary for yourself；〃 and he said： 〃Yes； of course。〃 Then he sent him away。
'Next day he came back again。 He had been drinking。 He said he had decided to bee a novice and be trained。 〃Well；〃 said the Superior； 〃there are certain things that are impossible for a man in the bush。 One of them is drinking。 It is not the worst thing； but it is nevertheless quite fatal。 I sent him away。〃 Then he kept ing two or three times a week； always drunk； until the Superior gave orders that the porter was to keep him out。 I said； 〃Oh dear； I'm afraid he was a terrible nuisance to you；〃 but of course that's a thing they don't understand in a place like that。 The Superior simply said； 〃I did not think there was anything I could do to help him except pray。〃 He was a very holy old man and recognized it in others。'
'Holiness？'
'Oh yes； Charles； that's what you've got to understand about Sebastian。
'Well； finally one day they found Sebastian lying outside the main gate unconscious； he had walked out … usually he took a car … and fallen down and lain there all night。 At first they thought he was merely drunk again； then they realized he was very ill； so they put him in the infirmary； where he's been ever since。
'I stayed a fortnight with him till he was over the worst of his illness。 He looked terrible； any age； rather bald with a straggling beard； but he had his old sweet manner。 They'd given him a room to himself； it was barely more than a monk's cell with a bed and a crucifix and white walls。 At first he couldn't talk much and was not at all surprised to see me； then he was surprised and wouldn't talk much； until just before I was going； when he told me all that had been happening to him。 It was mostly about Kurt； his German friend。 Well； you met him； so you know all about that。 He sounds gruesome； but as long as Sebastian had him to look after； he was happy。 He told me he'd practically given up drinking at one time while he and Kurt lived together。 Kurt was ill and had a wound that wouldn't heal。 Sebastian saw him through that。 Then they went to Greece when Kurt got well。 You know how Germans sometimes seem to discover a sense of decency when they get to a classical country。 It seems to have worked With Kurt。 Sebastian says he became quite human in Athens。 Then he got sent to prison； I couldn't quite make out why； apparently it wasn't particularly his fault … some brawl with an official。 Once he was locked up the German authorities got at him。 It was the time when they were rounding up all their nationals from all parts of the world to make them into Nazis。 Kurt didn't want to leave Greece； but the Greeks didn't want him； and he was marched straight from prison with a lot of other toughs into a German boat and shipped home。
'Sebastian went after him； and for a year could find no trace。 Then in the end he ran him to earth dressed as a storm…trooper in a provincial town。 At first he wouldn't have anything to do with Sebastian； spouted all the official jargon about the rebirth of his country； and his belonging to his country； and finding self…realization in the life of the race。 But it was only skin deep with him。 Six years of Sebastian had taught him more than a year of Hitler； eventually he chucked it； admitted he hated Germany； and wanted to get out。 I don't know how much it was simply the call of the easy life； sponging on Sebastian； bathing in the Mediterranean； sitting about in caf閟； having his shoes polished。 Sebastian says it wasn't entirely that； Kurt had just begun to grow up in Athens。 It may be he's right。 Anyway； he decided to try and get out。 But it didn't work。 He always got into trouble whatever he did； Sebastian said。 They caught him and put him in a concentration camp。 Sebastian couldn't get near him or hear a word of him； he couldn't even find what camp he was in； he hung about for nearly a year in Germany； drinking again； until one day in his cups he took up with a man who was just out of the camp where Kurt had been； and learned that he had hanged himself in his hut the first week。
'So that was the end of Europe for Sebastian。 He went back to Morocco； where he had been happy； and gradually drifted down the coast； from place to place； until one day when he had sobered up … his drinking goes in pretty regular bouts now … he conceived the idea of escaping to the savages。 And there he was。
'I didn't suggest his ing home。 I knew he wouldn't and he was too weak still to argue it out。 He seemed quite happy by the time I left。 He'll never be able to go into the bush； of course； or join the order； but the Father Superior is going to take charge of him。 They had the idea of making him a sort of under…porter； there are usually a few odd hangers…on in a religious house； you know； people who can't quite fit in either to the world or the monastic rule。 I suppose I'm something of the sort myself But as I don't happen to drink； I'm more employable。'
We had reached the turn in our walk； the stone bridge at the foot of the last and smallest lake； under which the swollen waters fell in a cataract to the stream below； beyond； the path doubled back towards the house。 We paused at the parapet looking down into the dark water。
'I once had a governess who jumped off this bridge and drowned herself。'
'Yes； I know。'
'How could you know？'
'It was the first thing I ever heard about you … before I ever met you。'
'How very odd。。。'
'Have you told Julia this about Sebastian？'
'The substance of it； not quite as I told you。 She never loved him； you know； as we do。'
'Do'。 The word reproached me； there was no past tense in Cordelia's verb 'to love'。
'Poor Sebastian！' I said。 'It's too pitiful。 How will it end？'
'I think I can tell you exactly； Charles。 I've seen others like him； and I believe they are very near and dear to God。 He'll live on； half in； half out of； the munity； a familiar figure pottering round with his broom and his bunch of keys。 He'll be a great favourite with the old fathers； something of a joke to the novices。 Everyone will know about his drinking