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and I thought I never saw my lady look so well in her life as she did at that
time。 There were grand dinners； and all the gentlemen drinking success
to Sir Condy till they were carried off； and then dances and balls； and the
ladies all finishing with a raking pot of tea in the morning ＇See
GLOSSARY 25＇。 Indeed； it was well the company made it their choice
to sit up all nights； for there were not half beds enough for the sights of
people that were in it； though there were shake…downs in the drawing…
room always made up before sunrise for those that liked it。 For my part；
when I saw the doings that were going on； and the loads of claret that went
down the throats of them that had no right to be asking for it； and the
sights of meat that went up to table and never came down； besides what
was carried off to one or t'other below stair； I couldn't but pity my poor
master； who was to pay for all； but I said nothing； for fear of gaining
myself ill…will。 The day of election will come some time or other； says I
to myself； and all will be over； and so it did； and a glorious day it was as
any I ever had the happiness to see。
'Huzza！ huzza！ Sir Condy Rackrent for ever！' was the first thing I
hears in the morning； and the same and nothing else all day； and not a soul
sober only just when polling； enough to give their votes as became 'em；
and to stand the browbeating of the lawyers； who came tight enough upon
us； and many of our freeholders were knocked off； having never a freehold
that they could safely swear to； and Sir Condy was not willing to have any
man perjure himself for his sake； as was done on the other side； God
knows； but no matter for that。 Some of our friends were dumbfounded
by the lawyers asking them： Had they ever been upon the ground where
their freeholds lay？ Now； Sir Condy being tender of the consciences of
them that had not been on the ground； and so could not swear to a freehold
when cross…examined by them lawyers； sent out for a couple of cleavesful
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of the sods of his farm of Gulteeshinnagh； ＇At St。 Patrick's meeting；
London； March 1806； the Duke of Sussex said he had the honour of
bearing an Irish title； and； with the permission of the company； he should
tell them an anecdote of what he had experienced on his travels。 When he
was at Rome he went to visit an Irish seminary； and when they heard who
it was； and that he had an Irish title； some of them asked him； 'Please your
Royal Highness； since you are an Irish peer； will you tell us if you ever
trod upon Irish ground？' When he told them he had not； 'Oh； then；' said
one of the Order； 'you shall soon do so。' They then spread some earth；
which had been brought from Ireland； on a marble slab； and made him
stand upon it。＇ and as soon as the sods came into town； he set each man
upon his sod； and so then； ever after； you know； they could fairly swear
they had been upon the ground。 ＇This was actually done at an election in
Ireland。＇ We gained the day by this piece of honesty ＇See GLOSSARY
26＇。 I thought I should have died in the streets for joy when I seed my
poor master chaired； and he bareheaded； and it raining as hard as it could
pour； but all the crowds following him up and down； and he bowing and
shaking hands with the whole town。
'Is that Sir Condy Rackrent in the chair？' says a stranger man in the
crowd。
'The same；' says I。 'Who else should it be？ God bless him！'
'And I take it； then； you belong to him？' says he。
'Not at all；' says I； 'but I live under him； and have done so these two
hundred years and upwards； me and mine。'
'It's lucky for you； then；' rejoins he； 'that he is where he is； for was he
anywhere else but in the chair； this minute he'd be in a worse place； for I
was sent down on purpose to put him up； ＇TO PUT HIM UP： to put him in
gaol＇ and here's my order for so doing in my pocket。'
It was a writ that villain the wine merchant had marked against my
poor master for some hundreds of an old debt； which it was a shame to be
talking of at such a time as this。
'Put it in your pocket again； and think no more of it anyways for seven
years to come； my honest friend；' says I； 'he's a member of Parliament now；
praised be God； and such as you can't touch him： and if you'll take a fool's
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advice； I'd have you keep out of the way this day； or you'll run a good
chance of getting your deserts amongst my master's friends； unless you
choose to drink his health like everybody else。'
'I've no objection to that in life；' said he。 So we went into one of the
public…houses kept open for my master； and we had a great deal of talk
about this thing and that。 'And how is it；' says he； 'your master keeps on
so well upon his legs？ I heard say he was off Holantide twelvemonth
past。'
'Never was better or heartier in his life；' said I。
'It's not that I'm after speaking of' said he； 'but there was a great report
of his being ruined。〃
'No matter；' says I； 'the sheriffs two years running were his particular
friends； and the sub…sheriffs were both of them gentlemen； and were
properly spoken to； and so the writs lay snug with them； and they； as I
understand by my son Jason the custom in them cases is； returned the writs
as they came to them to those that sent 'em much good may it do them！
with a word in Latin； that no such person as Sir Condy Rackrent； Bart。；
was to be found in those parts。'
'Oh； I understand all those ways betterno offencethan you；' says he；
laughing； and at the same time filling his glass to my master's good health；
which convinced me he was a warm friend in his heart after all； though
appearances were a little suspicious or so at first。 'To be sure；' says he；
still cutting his joke； 'when a man's over head and shoulders in debt； he
may live the faster for it； and the better if he goes the right way about it； or
else how is it so many live on so well； as we see every day； after they are
ruined？'
'How is it；' says I； being a little merry at the time'how is it but just as
you see the ducks in the chicken…yard； just after their heads are cut off by
the cook； running round and round faster than when alive？'
At which conceit he fell a…laughing； and remarked he had never had
the happiness yet to see the chicken…yard at Castle Rackrent。
'It won't be long so； I hope；' says I； 'you'll be kindly welcome there； as
everybody is made by my master： there is not a freer… spoken gentleman；
or a better beloved； high or low； in all Ireland。'
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And of what passed after this I'm not sensible； for we drank Sir
Candy's good health and the downfall of his enemies till we could stand no
longer ourselves。 And little did I think at the time； or till long after； how
I was harbouring my poor master's greatest of enemies myself。 This
fellow had the impudence； after coming to see the chicken…yard； to get me
to introduce him to my son Jason； little more than the man that never was
born did I guess at his meaning by this visit： he gets him a correct list
fairly drawn out from my son Jason of all my master's debts； and goes
straight round to the creditors and buys them all up； which he did easy
enough； seeing the half of them never expected to see their money out of
Sir Condy's hands。 Then； when this base… minded limb of the law； as I
afterwards detected him in being； grew to be sole creditor over all； he
takes him out a custodiam on all the denominations and sub…
denominations； and even carton and half…carton upon the estate ＇See
GLOSSARY 27＇； and not content with that； must have an execution
against the master's goods and down to the furniture； though little wor