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Castle Rackrent
and exposing yourself and me for this way？'
'Oh； say no more； say no more； every word you say kills me；' cried my
lady； and she ran on like one； as Mrs。 Jane says； raving； 'Oh； Sir Condy；
Sir Condy！ I that had hoped to find in you'
'Why now； faith； this is a little too much； do； Bella； try to recollect
yourself； my dear； am not I your husband； and of your own choosing； and
is not that enough？'
'Oh； too much！ too much！' cried my lady； wringing her hands。
'Why； my dear； come to your right senses； for the love of heaven。 See；
is not the whisky…punch； jug and bowl and all； gone out of the room long
ago？ What is it； in the wide world； you have to complain of？'
But still my lady sobbed and sobbed； and called herself the most
wretched of women； and among other out…of…the…way provoking things；
asked my master； was he fit company for her； and he drinking all night？
This nettling him； which it was hard to do； he replied； that as to drinking
all night； he was then as sober as she was herself； and that it was no matter
how much a man drank； provided it did noways affect or stagger him： that
as to being fit company for her； he thought himself of a family to be fit
company for any lord or lady in the land； but that he never prevented her
from seeing and keeping what company she pleased； and that he had done
his best to make Castle Rackrent pleasing to her since her marriage；
having always had the house full of visitors； and if her own relations were
not amongst them； he said that was their own fault； and their pride's fault；
of which he was sorry to find her ladyship had so unbecoming a share。
So concluding； he took his candle and walked off to his room； and my lady
was in her tantarums for three days after； and would have been so much
longer； no doubt； but some of her friends； young ladies； and cousins； and
second cousins； came to Castle Rackrent； by my poor master's express
invitation； to see her； and she was in a hurry to get up； as Mrs。 Jane called
it； a play for them； and so got well； and was as finely dressed； and as
happy to look at； as ever； and all the young ladies； who used to be in her
room dressing of her； said in Mrs。 Jane's hearing that my lady was the
happiest bride ever they had seen； and that to be sure a love… match was
the only thing for happiness； where the parties could any way afford it。
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As to affording it； God knows it was little they knew of the matter； my
lady's few thousands could not last for ever； especially the way she went
on with them； and letters from tradesfolk came every post thick and
threefold； with bills as long as my arm； of years' and years' standing。 My
son Jason had 'em all handed over to him； and the pressing letters were all
unread by Sir Condy； who hated trouble； and could never be brought to
hear talk of business； but still put it off and put it off； saying； 'Settle it
anyhow；' or； 'Bid 'em call again to… morrow；' or； 'Speak to me about it some
other time。' Now it was hard to find the right time to speak； for in the
mornings he was a…bed； and in the evenings over his bottle； where no
gentleman chooses to be disturbed。 Things in a twelvemonth or so came
to such a pass there was no making a shift to go on any longer； though we
were all of us well enough used to live from hand to mouth at Castle
Rackrent。 One day； I remember； when there was a power of company； all
sitting after dinner in the dusk； not to say dark； in the drawing…room； my
lady having rung five times for candles； and none to go up； the
housekeeper sent up the footman； who went to my mistress； and whispered
behind her chair how it was。
'My lady；' says he； 'there are no candles in the house。'
'Bless me；' says she； 'then take a horse and gallop off as fast as you can
to Carrick O'Fungus； and get some。'
'And in the meantime tell them to step into the playhouse； and try if
there are not some bits left；' added Sir Condy； who happened； to be within
hearing。 The man was sent up again to my lady； to let her know there
was no horse to go； but one that wanted a shoe。
'Go to Sir Condy then； I know nothing at all about the horses；' said my
lady； 'why do you plague me with these things？' How it was settled I
really forget； but to the best of my remembrance； the boy was sent down to
my son Jason's to borrow candles for the night。 Another time； in the
winter； and on a desperate cold day； there was no turf in for the parlour
and above stairs； and scarce enough for the cook in the kitchen。 The little
GOSSOON was sent off to the neighbours； to see and beg or borrow some；
but none could he bring back with him for love or money； ＇GOSSOON：
a little boyfrom the French word GARCON。 In most Irish families there
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used to be a barefooted gossoon； who was slave to the cook and the butler；
and who； in fact； without wages； did all the hard work of the house。
Gossoons were always employed as messengers。 The Editor has known a
gossoon to go on foot； without shoes or stockings； fifty…one English miles
between sunrise and sunset。＇ so； as needs must； we were forced to trouble
Sir Condy'Well； and if there's no turf to be had in the town or country；
why； what signifies talking any more about it； can't ye go and cut down a
tree？'
'Which tree； please your honour？' I made bold to say。
'Any tree at all that's good to burn；' said Sir Condy； 'send off smart and
get one down； and the fires lighted； before my lady gets up to breakfast； or
the house will be too hot to hold us。'
He was always very considerate in all things about my lady； and she
wanted for nothing whilst he had it to give。 Well； when things were tight
with them about this time； my son Jason put in a word again about the
Lodge； and made a genteel offer to lay down the purchase…money； to
relieve Sir Condy's distresses。 Now Sir Condy had it from the best
authority that there were two writs come down to the sheriff against his
person； and the sheriff； as ill…luck would have it； was no friend of his； and
talked how he must do his duty； and how he would do it； if it was against
the first man in the country； or even his own brother； let alone one who
had voted against him at the last election； as Sir Condy had done。 So Sir
Condy was fain to take the purchase… money of the Lodge from my son
Jason to settle matters； and sure enough it was a good bargain for both
parties； for my son bought the fee…simple of a good house for him and his
heirs for ever； for little or nothing； and by selling of it for that same my
master saved himself from a gaol。 Every way it turned out fortunate for
Sir Condy； for before the money was all gone there came a general
election； and he being so well beloved in the county； and one of the oldest
families； no one had a better right to stand candidate for the vacancy； and
he was called upon by all his friends； and the whole county I may say； to
declare himself against the old member； who had little thought of a contest。
My master did not relish the thoughts of a troublesome canvass； and all the
ill…will he might bring upon himself by disturbing the peace of the county；
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besides the expense； which was no trifle； but all his friends called upon
one another to subscribe； and they formed themselves into a committee；
and wrote all his circular letters for him； and engaged all his agents； and
did all the business unknown to him； and he was well pleased that it
should be so at last； and my lady herself was very sanguine about the
election； and there was open house kept night and day at Castle Rackrent；
and I thought I never saw my lady look so well in her life as she did at that
time。 There were