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employed and the very modulation of my voice were not my own？ Take
lessons； indeed！ why； the fellow who taught me； the professor；
might be standing in the gallery whilst I spoke； and； at the best
parts of my speech； might say to himself； 〃That gesture is mine …
that modulation is mine。〃 I could not bear the thought of such a
thing。'
'Farewell；' said I； 'and may you prosper。 I have nothing more to
say。'
I departed。 At the distance of twenty yards I turned round
suddenly； my friend was just withdrawing his finger from the bar of
the gate。
'He has been touching；' said I； as I proceeded on my way； 'I wonder
what was the evil chance he wished to baffle。'
CHAPTER LXVIII
Elastic step … Disconsolate party … Not the season … Mend your
draught … Good ale … Crotchet … Hammer and tongs … Schoolmaster …
True Eden life … Flaming Tinman … Twice my size … Hard at work … My
poor wife … Grey Moll … A Bible … Half…and…half … What to do … Half
inclined … In no time … On one condition … Don't stare … Like the
wind。
AFTER walking some time； I found myself on the great road； at the
same spot where I had turned aside the day before with my new…made
acquaintance； in the direction of his house。 I now continued my
journey as before； towards the north。 The weather； though
beautiful； was much cooler than it had been for some time past； I
walked at a great rate； with a springing and elastic step。 In
about two hours I came to where a kind of cottage stood a little
way back from the road； with a huge oak before it； under the shade
of which stood a little pony and a cart； which seemed to contain
various articles。 I was going past … when I saw scrawled over the
door of the cottage； 'Good beer sold here'； upon which； feeling
myself all of a sudden very thirsty； I determined to go in and
taste the beverage。
I entered a well…sanded kitchen； and seated myself on a bench； on
one side of a long white table； the other side； which was nearest
to the wall； was occupied by a party； or rather family； consisting
of a grimy…looking man； somewhat under the middle size； dressed in
faded velveteens； and wearing a leather apron … a rather pretty…
looking woman； but sun…burnt； and meanly dressed； and two ragged
children； a boy and girl； about four or five years old。 The man
sat with his eyes fixed upon the table； supporting his chin with
both his hands； the woman； who was next him； sat quite still； save
that occasionally she turned a glance upon her husband with eyes
that appeared to have been lately crying。 The children had none of
the vivacity so general at their age。 A more disconsolate family I
had never seen； a mug； which； when filled； might contain half a
pint； stood empty before them； a very disconsolate party indeed。
'House！' said I； 'House！' and then； as nobody appeared； I cried
again as loud as I could； 'House！ do you hear me； House！'
'What's your pleasure； young man？' said an elderly woman； who now
made her appearance from a side apartment。
'To taste your ale；' said I。
'How much？' said the woman； stretching out her hand towards the
empty mug upon the table。
'The largest measure…full in your house；' said I； putting back her
hand gently。 'This is not the season for half…pint mugs。'
'As you will； young man；' said the landlady； and presently brought
in an earthen pitcher which might contain about three pints； and
which foamed and frothed withal。
'Will this pay for it？' said I； putting down sixpence。
'I have to return you a penny；' said the landlady； putting her hand
into her pocket。
'I want no change；' said I； flourishing my hand with an air。
'As you please； young gentleman；' said the landlady； and then；
making a kind of curtsey； she again retired to the side apartment。
'Here is your health； sir；' said I to the grimy…looking man； as I
raised the pitcher to my lips。
The tinker； for such I supposed him to be； without altering his
posture； raised his eyes； looked at me for a moment； gave a slight
nod； and then once more fixed his eyes upon the table。 I took a
draught of the ale； which I found excellent； 'Won't you drink？'
said I； holding the pitcher to the tinker。
The man again lifted up his eyes； looked at me； and then at the
pitcher； and then at me again。 I thought at one time that he was
about to shake his head in sign of refusal； but no； he looked once
more at the pitcher； and the temptation was too strong。 Slowly
removing his head from his arms； he took the pitcher； sighed；
nodded； and drank a tolerable quantity； and then set the pitcher
down before me upon the table。
'You had better mend your draught；' said I to the tinker； 'it is a
sad heart that never rejoices。'
'That's true；' said the tinker； and again raising the pitcher to
his lips； he mended his draught as I had bidden him； drinking a
larger quantity than before。
'Pass it to your wife；' said I。
The poor woman took the pitcher from the man's hand； before；
however； raising it to her lips； she looked at the children。 True
mother's heart； thought I to myself； and taking the half…pint mug；
I made her fill it； and then held it to the children； causing each
to take a draught。 The woman wiped her eyes with the corner of her
gown； before she raised the pitcher and drank to my health。
In about five minutes none of the family looked half so
disconsolate as before； and the tinker and I were in deep
discourse。
Oh； genial and gladdening is the power of good ale； the true and
proper drink of Englishmen。 He is not deserving of the name of
Englishman who speaketh against ale； that is good ale； like that
which has just made merry the hearts of this poor family； and yet
there are beings； calling themselves Englishmen； who say that it is
a sin to drink a cup of ale； and who； on coming to this passage
will be tempted to fling down the book and exclaim； 'The man is
evidently a bad man； for behold； by his own confession； he is not
only fond of ale himself； but is in the habit of tempting other
people with it。' Alas！ alas！ what a number of silly individuals
there are in this world； I wonder what they would have had me do in
this instance … given the afflicted family a cup of cold water？ go
to！ They could have found water in the road； for there was a
pellucid spring only a few yards distant from the house； as they
were well aware … but they wanted not water； what should I have
given them？ meat and bread？ go to！ They were not hungry； there was
stifled sobbing in their bosoms； and the first mouthful of strong
meat would have choked them。 What should I have given them？
Money！ what right had I to insult them by offering them money？
Advice！ words； words； words； friends； there is a time for
everything； there is a time for a cup of cold water； there is a
time for strong meat and bread； there is a time for advice； and
there is a time for ale； and I have generally found that the time
for advice is after a cup of ale。 I do not say many cups； the
tongue then speaketh more smoothly； and the ear listeneth more
benignantly； but why do I attempt to reason with you？ do I not know
you for conceited creatures； with one idea … and that a foolish
one； … a crotchet； for the sake of which ye would sacrifice
anything； religion if required … country？ There； fling down my
book； I do not wish ye to walk any farther in my company； unless
you cast your nonsense away； which ye will never do； for it is the
breath of your nostrils； fling down my book； it was not written to
support a crotchet； for know one thing； my good people； I have
invariably been an enemy to humbug。
'Well；' said the tinker； after we had discoursed some time； 'little
thought； when I first saw you； that you were of my own trade。'
MYSELF。 Nor am I； at least not exactly。 There is not much
difference； 'tis true； between a tinker and a smith。
TINKER。 You are a whitesmith then？
MYSELF。 Not I； I'd scorn to be anything so mean； no； friend；
black's the colour； I am a brother of the horse…shoe。 Success to
the hammer and tongs。
TINKER。 Well； I shouldn't have thought you had been a blacksmith
by your hands。
MYSELF。 I have seen them； however； as black as yours。 The truth
is； I have not worked for many a day。
TINKER。 Where did you serve first？
MYSELF。 In Ireland。
TINKER。 That's a good way off； isn't it？
MYSELF。 Not very far； over those mountains to the left； and the
run of salt water that lies behind them； there's Ireland。
TINKER。 It's a fine thing to be a scholar。
MYSELF。 Not half so fine as to be a tinker。
TINKER。 How you talk！
MYSELF。 Nothing but the truth； what can be better than to be one's
own master？ Now a tinker is his own master； a scholar is not。 Let