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STREPH。 All in all since that fond meeting
When； in joy； I woke to find
Mine the heart within thee beating；
Mine the love that heart enshrined！
BOTH。 Thou the stream and I the willow
Thou the sculptor； I the clay
Thou the Ocean； I the billow
Thou the sunrise； I the day！
（Exeunt Strephon and Phyllis
together。）
（March。 Enter Procession of Peers。）
CHORUS。
Loudly let the trumpet bray！
Tantantara！
Proudly bang the sounding brasses！
Tzing！ Boom！
As upon its lordly way
This unique procession passes；
Tantantara！ Tzing！ Boom！
Bow； bow； ye lower middle classes！
Bow； bow； ye tradesmen； bow； ye masses！
Blow the trumpets； bang the brasses！
Tantantara！ Tzing！ Boom！
We are peers of highest station；
Paragons of legislation；
Pillars of the British nation！
Tantantara！ Tzing！ Boom！
（Enter the Lord Chancellor； followed by his train…bearer。）
SONGLORD CHANCELLOR。
The Law is the true embodiment
Of everything that's excellent。
It has no kind of fault or flaw；
And I； my Lords； embody the Law。
The constitutional guardian I
Of pretty young Wards in Chancery；
All very agreeable girlsand none
Are over the age of twenty…one。
A pleasant occupation for
A rather susceptible Chancellor！
ALL。 A pleasant； etc。
But though the compliment implied
Inflates me with legitimate pride；
It nevertheless can't be denied
That it has its inconvenient side。
For I'm not so old； and not so plain；
And I'm quite prepared to marry again；
But there'd be the deuce to pay in the Lords
If I fell in love with one of my Wards！
Which rather tries my temper； for
I'm such a susceptible Chancellor！
ALL。 Which rather； etc。
And every one who'd marry a Ward
Must come to me for my accord；
And in my court I sit all day；
Giving agreeable girls away；
With one for himand one for he
And one for youand one for ye
And one for thouand one for thee
But never； oh； never a one for me！
Which is exasperating for
A highly susceptible Chancellor！
ALL。 Which is； etc。
（Enter Lord Tolloller。）
LORD TOLL。 And now； my Lords； to the business of the day。
LORD CH。 By all means。 Phyllis； who is a Ward of Court； has
so powerfully affected your Lordships； that you have appealed to me
in a body to give her to whichever one of you she may think proper
to select； and a noble Lord has just gone to her cottage to request
her immediate attendance。 It would be idle to deny that I； myself；
have the misfortune to be singularly attracted by this young
person。 My regard for her is rapidly undermining my constitution。
Three months ago I was a stout man。 I need say no more。 If I
could reconcile it with my duty； I should unhesitatingly award her
to myself； for I can conscientiously say that I know no man who is
so well fitted to render her exceptionally happy。 （Peers： Hear；
hear！） But such an award would be open to misconstruction； and
therefore； at whatever personal inconvenience； I waive my claim。
LORD TOLL。 My Lord； I desire； on the part of this House； to
express its sincere sympathy with your Lordship's most painful
position。
LORD CH。 I thank your Lordships。 The feelings of a Lord
Chancellor who is in love with a Ward of Court are not to be
envied。 What is his position？ Can he give his own consent to his
own marriage with his own Ward？ Can he marry his own Ward without
his own consent？ And if he marries his own Ward without his own
consent； can he commit himself for contempt of his own Court？ And
if he commit himself for contempt of his own Court； can he appear
by counsel before himself； to move for arrest of his own judgement？
Ah； my Lords； it is indeed painful to have to sit upon a woolsack
which is stuffed with such thorns as these！
（Enter Lord Mountararat。）
LORD MOUNT。 My Lord； I have much pleasure in announcing that
I have succeeded in inducing the young person to present herself at
the Bar of this House。
（Enter Phyllis。）
RECITATIVEPHYLLIS。
My well…loved Lord and Guardian dear；
You summoned me； and I am here！
CHORUS OF PEERS。
Oh； rapture； how beautiful！
How gentlehow dutiful！
SOLOLORD TOLLOLLER。
Of all the young ladies I know
This pretty young lady's the fairest；
Her lips have the rosiest show；
Her eyes are the richest and rarest。
Her origin's lowly； it's true；
But of birth and position I've plenty；
I've grammar and spelling for two；
And blood and behaviour for twenty！
Her origin's lowly； it's true；
I've grammar and spelling for two；
CHORUS。 Of birth and position he's plenty；
With blood and behaviour for twenty！
SOLOLORD MOUNTARARAT。
Though the views of the House have diverged
On every conceivable motion；
All questions of Party are merged
In a frenzy of love and devotion；
If you ask us distinctly to say
What Party we claim to belong to；
We reply； without doubt or delay；
The Party I'm singing this song to！
SOLOPHYLLIS。
I'm very much pained to refuse；
But I'll stick to my pipes and my tabors；
I can spell all the words that I use；
And my grammar's as good as my neighbours'。
As for birthI was born like the rest；
My behaviour is rustic but hearty；
And I know where to turn for the best；
When I want a particular Party！
PHYLLIS； LORD TOLL。； and LORD MOUNT。
Though her station is none of the best；
I suppose she was born like the rest；
And she knows where to look for her hearty；
When she wants a particular Party！
RECITATIVEPHYLLIS。
Nay； tempt me not。
To rank I'll not be bound；
In lowly cot
Alone is virtue found！
CHORUS。 No； no； indeed high rank will never hurt you；
The Peerage is not destitute of virtue。
BALLADLORD TOLLOLLER。
Spurn not the nobly born
With love affected；
Nor treat with virtuous scorn
The well…connected。
High rank involves no shame
We boast an equal claim
With him of humble name
To be respected！
Blue blood！ blue blood！
When virtuous love is sought
Thy power is naught；
Though dating from the Flood；
Blue blood！ Ah； blue blood！
CHORUS。 When virtuous love is sought； etc。
Spare us the bitter pain
Of stern denials；
Nor with low…born disdain
Augment our trials。
Hearts just as pure and fair
May beat in Belgrave Square
As in the lowly air
Of Seven Dials！
Blue blood！ blue blood！
Of what avail art thou
To serve us now？
Though dating from the Flood；
Blue blood！ Ah； blue blood！
CHORUS。 Of what avail art thou； etc。
RECITATIVEPHYLLIS。