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Come！ Substantial damages；
Dam…
USHER。 Silence in Court！
SONG DEFENDANT
Oh； gentlemen； listen； I pray；
Though I own that my heart has been ranging；
Of nature the laws I obey；
For nature is constantly changing。
The moon in her phases is found；
The time； and the wind； and the weather。
The months in succession come round；
And you don't find two Mondays together。
Consider the moral； I pray；
Nor bring a young fellow to sorrow；
Who loves this young lady to…day；
And loves that young lady to…morrow。
BRIDESMAIDS （rushing forward； and kneeling to Jury）。
Consider the moral； etc。
One cannot eat breakfast all day；
Nor is it the act of a sinner；
When breakfast is taken away；
To turn his attention to dinner。
And it's not in the range of belief；
To look upon him as a glutton；
Who； when he is tired of beef；
Determines to tackle the mutton。
But this I am willing to say；
If it will appease her sorrow；
I'll marry this lady to…day；
And I'll marry the other to…morrow。
BRIDESMAIDS （rushing forward as before）
But this he is willing say； etc。
RECIT JUDGE
That seems a reasonable proposition；
To which； I think； your client may agree。
COUNSEL
But I submit； m'lud； with all submission；
To marry two at once is Burglaree！
＇Referring to law book。
In the reign of James the Second；
It was generally reckoned
As a rather serious crime
To marry two wives at a time。
＇Hands book up to Judge； who reads it。
ALL。 Oh； man of learning！
QUARTETTE
JUDGE。 A nice dilemma we have here；
That calls for all our wit：
COUNSEL。 And at this stage； it don't appear
That we can settle it。
DEFENDANT （in Witness…box）。
If I to wed the girl am loth
A breach 'twill surely be
PLAINTIFF。 And if he goes and marries both；
It counts as Burglaree！
ALL。 A nice dilemma we have here；
That calls for all our wit。
DUET PLAINTIFF and DEFENDANT
PLAINTIFF （embracing him rapturously）
I love himI love himwith fervour unceasing
I worship and madly adore；
My blind adoration is ever increasing；
My loss I shall ever deplore。
Oh； see what a blessing； what love and caressing
I've lost； and remember it； pray；
When you I'm addressing； are busy assessing
The damages Edwin must pay…
Yes； he must pay！
DEFENDANT （repelling her furiously）
I smoke like a furnaceI'm always in liquor；
A ruffiana bullya sot；
I'm sure I should thrash her； perhaps I should kick her；
I am such a very bad lot！
I'm not prepossessing； as you may be guessing；
She couldn't endure me a day！
Recall my professing； when you are assessing
The damages Edwin must pay！
PLAINTIFF。 Yes； he must pay！
＇She clings to him passionately； after a struggle； he throws her
off into arms of Counsel。
JURY。 We would be fairly acting；
But this is most distracting！
If； when in liquor he would kick her；
That is an abatement。
RECIT JUDGE
The question； gentlemenis one of liquor。
You ask for guidancethis is my reply：
He says； when tipsy； he would thrash and kick her。
Let's make him tipsy； gentlemen； and try！
COUNSEL。 With all respect；
I do object！
PLAINTIFF。 I do object！
DEFENDANT。 I don't object！
ALL。 With all respect
We do object！
JUDGE （tossing his books and paper about）
All the legal furies seize you！
No proposal seems to please you；
I can't sit up here all day；
I must shortly get away。
Barristers； and you； attorneys；
Set out on your homeward journeys；
Gentle； simple…minded Usher；
Get you； if you like； to Russher；
Put your briefs upon the shelf；
I will marry her myself！
＇He comes down from Bench to floor of Court。 He embraces
Angelina。
FINALE
PLAINTIFF。 Oh； joy unbounded；
With wealth surrounded；
The knell is sounded
Of grief and woe。
COUNSEL。 With love devoted
On you he's doated；
To castle moated
Away they go。
DEFENDANT。 I wonder whether
They'll live together；
In marriage tether
In manner true？
USHER。 It seems to me； sir；
Of such as she； sir；
A Judge is he； sir；
And a good Judge； too！
JUDGE。 Yes； I am a Judge！
ALL。 And a good Judge； too！
JUDGE。 Yes； I am a Judge！
ALL。 And a good Judge； too！
JUDGE。 Though homeward as you trudge；
You declare my law is fudge。
Yet of beauty I'm a judge。
ALL。 And a good Judge too！
JUDGE。 Though defendant is a snob；
ALL。 And a great snob； too！
JUDGE。 Though defendant is a snob；
ALL。 And a great snob； too！
JUDGE。 Though defendant is a snob；
I'll reward him from his fob。
So we've settled with the job；
ALL。 And a good job； too！
Dance
CURTAIN
UTOPIA LIMITED
OR
THE FLOWERS OF PROGRESS
Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan
Libretto by William S。 Gilbert
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
King Paramount； the First （King of Utopia）
Scaphio and Phantis （Judges of the Utopian Supreme Court）
Tarara （The Public Exploder）
Calynx （The Utopian Vice…Chamberlain）
Imported Flowers of Progress：
Lord Dramaleigh （a British Lord Chamberlain）
Captain Fitzbattleaxe （First Life Guards）
Captain Sir Edward Corcoran； K。C。B。 （of the Royal Navy）
Mr。 Goldbury （a company promoter； afterwards Comptroller of the
Utopian
Household）
Sir Bailey Barre； Q。C。； M。P。
Mr。 Blushington （of the County Council）
The Princess Zara （eldest daughter of King Paramount）
The Princesses Nekaya and Kalyba （her Younger Sisters）
The Lady Sophy （their English Gouvernante）
Utopian Maidens：
Salata
Melene
Phylla
ACT I
A Utopian Palm Grove
ACT II
Throne Room in King Paramount's Palace
First produced at the Savoy Theatre on October 7； 1893。
ACT I。
OPENING CHORUS。
In lazy languormotionless；
We lie and dream of nothingness；
For visions come
From Poppydom
Direct at our command：
Or； delicate alternative；
In open idleness we live；
With lyre and lute
And silver flute；
The life of Lazyland。
SOLO … Phylla。
The song of birds
In ivied towers；
The rippling play
Of waterway；
The lowing herds；
The breath of flowers；
The languid loves
Of turtle doves
These simply joys are all at hand
Upon thy shores； O Lazyland！
（Enter Calynx）
Calynx： Good news！ Great news！ His Majesty's eldest daughter；
Princess Zara； who left our shores five years since to go
to
Englandthe greatest； the most powerful； the wisest
country
in the worldh