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go about my business。 ＇Exeunt Servants； running about as if frightened；
different ways。＇
Enter Servant with candles； showing in MARLOW and HASTINGS。
SERVANT。 Welcome； gentlemen； very welcome！ This way。
HASTINGS。 After the disappointments of the day； welcome once
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more； Charles； to the comforts of a clean room and a good fire。 Upon my
word； a very well…looking house； antique but creditable。
MARLOW。 The usual fate of a large mansion。 Having first ruined
the master by good housekeeping； it at last comes to levy contributions as
an inn。
HASTINGS。 As you say； we passengers are to be taxed to pay all
these fineries。 I have often seen a good sideboard； or a marble chimney…
piece； though not actually put in the bill； inflame a reckoning
confoundedly。
MARLOW。 Travellers； George； must pay in all places： the only
difference is； that in good inns you pay dearly for luxuries； in bad inns you
are fleeced and starved。
HASTINGS。 You have lived very much among them。 In truth； I
have been often surprised； that you who have seen so much of the world；
with your natural good sense； and your many opportunities； could never
yet acquire a requisite share of assurance。
MARLOW。 The Englishman's malady。 But tell me； George； where
could I have learned that assurance you talk of？ My life has been chiefly
spent in a college or an inn； in seclusion from that lovely part of the
creation that chiefly teach men confidence。 I don't know that I was ever
familiarly acquainted with a single modest womanexcept my mother
But among females of another class； you know
HASTINGS。 Ay； among them you are impudent enough of all
conscience。
MARLOW。 They are of US； you know。
HASTINGS。 But in the company of women of reputation I never
saw such an idiot； such a trembler； you look for all the world as if you
wanted an opportunity of stealing out of the room。 MARLOW。 Why；
man； that's because I do want to steal out of the room。 Faith； I have often
formed a resolution to break the ice； and rattle away at any rate。 But I
don't know how； a single glance from a pair of fine eyes has totally overset
my resolution。 An impudent fellow may counterfeit modesty； but I'll be
hanged if a modest man can ever counterfeit impudence。
HASTINGS。 If you could but say half the fine things to them that I
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have heard you lavish upon the bar…maid of an inn； or even a college bed…
maker
MARLOW。 Why； George； I can't say fine things to them； they freeze；
they petrify me。 They may talk of a comet； or a burning mountain； or
some such bagatelle； but； to me； a modest woman； drest out in all her
finery； is the most tremendous object of the whole creation。
HASTINGS。 Ha！ ha！ ha！ At this rate； man； how can you ever
expect to marry？
MARLOW。 Never； unless； as among kings and princes； my bride
were to be courted by proxy。 If； indeed； like an Eastern bridegroom； one
were to be introduced to a wife he never saw before； it might be endured。
But to go through all the terrors of a formal courtship； together with the
episode of aunts； grandmothers； and cousins； and at last to blurt out the
broad staring question of； Madam； will you marry me？ No； no； that's a
strain much above me； I assure you。
HASTINGS。 I pity you。 But how do you intend behaving to the
lady you are come down to visit at the request of your father？
MARLOW。 As I behave to all other ladies。 Bow very low； answer
yes or no to all her demandsBut for the rest； I don't think I shall venture
to look in her face till I see my father's again。
HASTINGS。 I'm surprised that one who is so warm a friend can be
so cool a lover。
MARLOW。 To be explicit； my dear Hastings； my chief inducement
down was to be instrumental in forwarding your happiness； not my own。
Miss Neville loves you； the family don't know you； as my friend you are
sure of a reception； and let honour do the rest。
HASTINGS。 My dear Marlow！ But I'll suppress the emotion。
Were I a wretch； meanly seeking to carry off a fortune； you should be the
last man in the world I would apply to for assistance。 But Miss Neville's
person is all I ask； and that is mine； both from her deceased father's
consent； and her own inclination。
MARLOW。 Happy man！ You have talents and art to captivate any
woman。 I'm doom'd to adore the sex； and yet to converse with the only
part of it I despise。 This stammer in my address； and this awkward
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prepossessing visage of mine； can never permit me to soar above the reach
of a milliner's 'prentice； or one of the duchesses of Drury…lane。 Pshaw！
this fellow here to interrupt us。
Enter HARDCASTLE。
HARDCASTLE。 Gentlemen； once more you are heartily welcome。
Which is Mr。 Marlow？ Sir； you are heartily welcome。 It's not my way；
you see； to receive my friends with my back to the fire。 I like give them
a hearty reception in the old style at my gate。 I like to see their horses
and trunks taken care of。
MARLOW。 （Aside。） He has got our names from the servants
already。 （To him。） We approve your caution and hospitality； sir。 （To
HASTINGS。） I have been thinking； George； of changing our travelling
dresses in the morning。 I am grown confoundedly ashamed of mine。
HARDCASTLE。 I beg； Mr。 Marlow； you'll use no ceremony in this
house。
HASTINGS。 I fancy； Charles； you're right： the first blow is half the
battle。 I intend opening the campaign with the white and gold。
HARDCASTLE。 Mr。 MarlowMr。 Hastingsgentlemenpray be
under no constraint in this house。 This is Liberty…hall； gentlemen。 You
may do just as you please here。
MARLOW。 Yet； George； if we open the campaign too fiercely at first；
we may want ammunition before it is over。 I think to reserve the
embroidery to secure a retreat。
HARDCASTLE。 Your talking of a retreat； Mr。 Marlow； puts me in
mind of the Duke of Marlborough； when we went to besiege Denain。 He
first summoned the garrison
MARLOW。 Don't you think the ventre d'or waistcoat will do with
the plain brown？
HARDCASTLE。 He first summoned the garrison； which might
consist of about five thousand men
HASTINGS。 I think not： brown and yellow mix but very poorly。
HARDCASTLE。 I say； gentlemen； as I was telling you； be
summoned the garrison； which might consist of about five thousand men
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MARLOW。 The girls like finery。
HARDCASTLE。 Which might consist of about five thousand men；
well appointed with stores； ammunition； and other implements of war。
Now； says the Duke of Marlborough to George Brooks； that stood next to
himyou must have heard of George BrooksI'll pawn my dukedom； says
he； but I take that garrison without spilling a drop of blood。 So
MARLOW。 What； my good friend； if you gave us a glass of punch in
the mean time； it would help us to carry on the siege with vigour。
HARDCASTLE。 Punch； sir！ （Aside。） This is the most
unaccountable kind of modesty I ever met with。
MARLOW。 Yes； sir； punch。 A glass of warm punch； after our
journey； will be comfortable。 This is Liberty…hall； you know。
HARDCASTLE。 Here's a cup； sir。
MARLOW。 （Aside。