按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
the son； a pretty； well…bred； agreeable youth； that everybody is fond of。
MARLOW。 Our information differs in this。 The daughter is said to
be well…bred and beautiful； the son an awkward booby； reared up and
spoiled at his mother's apron…string。
TONY。 He…he…hem！Then； gentlemen； all I have to tell you is； that
14
… Page 15…
〃SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER〃
you won't reach Mr。 Hardcastle's house this night； I believe。
HASTINGS。 Unfortunate！
TONY。 It's a damn'd long； dark； boggy； dirty； dangerous way。
Stingo； tell the gentlemen the way to Mr。 Hardcastle's！ （Winking upon
the Landlord。） Mr。 Hardcastle's； of Quagmire Marsh； you understand me。
LANDLORD。 Master Hardcastle's！ Lock…a…daisy； my masters；
you're come a deadly deal wrong！ When you came to the bottom of the
hill； you should have crossed down Squash Lane。
MARLOW。 Cross down Squash Lane！
LANDLORD。 Then you were to keep straight forward； till you came
to four roads。
MARLOW。 Come to where four roads meet？
TONY。 Ay； but you must be sure to take only one of them。
MARLOW。 O； sir； you're facetious。
TONY。 Then keeping to the right； you are to go sideways till you
come upon Crackskull Common： there you must look sharp for the track
of the wheel； and go forward till you come to farmer Murrain's barn。
Coming to the farmer's barn； you are to turn to the right； and then to the
left； and then to the right about again； till you find out the old mill
MARLOW。 Zounds； man！ we could as soon find out the longitude！
HASTINGS。 What's to be done； Marlow？
MARLOW。 This house promises but a poor reception； though
perhaps the landlord can accommodate us。
LANDLORD。 Alack； master； we have but one spare bed in the whole
house。
TONY。 And to my knowledge； that's taken up by three lodgers
already。 （After a pause； in which the rest seem disconcerted。） I have hit
it。 Don't you think； Stingo； our landlady could accommodate the
gentlemen by the fire…side； withthree chairs and a bolster？
HASTINGS。 I hate sleeping by the fire…side。
MARLOW。 And I detest your three chairs and a bolster。
TONY。 You do； do you？ then； let me seewhat if you go on a mile
further； to the Buck's Head； the old Buck's Head on the hill； one of the best
inns in the whole county？
15
… Page 16…
〃SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER〃
HASTINGS。 O ho！ so we have escaped an adventure for this night；
however。
LANDLORD。 （apart to TONY）。 Sure； you ben't sending them to
your father's as an inn； be you？
TONY。 Mum； you fool you。 Let THEM find that out。 （To them。）
You have only to keep on straight forward； till you come to a large old
house by the road side。 You'll see a pair of large horns over the door。
That's the sign。 Drive up the yard； and call stoutly about you。
HASTINGS。 Sir； we are obliged to you。 The servants can't miss the
way？
TONY。 No； no： but I tell you； though； the landlord is rich； and going
to leave off business； so he wants to be thought a gentleman； saving your
presence； he！ he！ he！ He'll be for giving you his company； and； ecod； if
you mind him； he'll persuade you that his mother was an alderman； and his
aunt a justice of peace。
LANDLORD。 A troublesome old blade； to be sure； but a keeps as
good wines and beds as any in the whole country。
MARLOW。 Well； if he supplies us with these； we shall want no
farther connexion。 We are to turn to the right； did you say？
TONY。 No； no； straight forward。 I'll just step myself； and show you
a piece of the way。 （To the Landlord。） Mum！
LANDLORD。 Ah； bless your heart； for a sweet； pleasantdamn'd
mischievous son of a whore。 ＇Exeunt。＇
16
… Page 17…
〃SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER〃
ACT THE SECOND。
SCENEAn old…fashioned House。
Enter HARDCASTLE； followed by three or four awkward Servants。
HARDCASTLE。 Well； I hope you are perfect in the table exercise I
have been teaching you these three days。 You all know your posts and
your places； and can show that you have been used to good company；
without ever stirring from home。
OMNES。 Ay； ay。
HARDCASTLE。 When company comes you are not to pop out and
stare； and then run in again； like frightened rabbits in a warren。
OMNES。 No； no。
HARDCASTLE。 You； Diggory； whom I have taken from the barn；
are to make a show at the side…table； and you； Roger； whom I have
advanced from the plough； are to place yourself behind my chair。 But
you're not to stand so； with your hands in your pockets。 Take your hands
from your pockets； Roger； and from your head； you blockhead you。 See
how Diggory carries his hands。 They're a little too stiff； indeed； but that's
no great matter。
DIGGORY。 Ay； mind how I hold them。 I learned to hold my hands
this way when I was upon drill for the militia。 And so being upon drill…
…
HARDCASTLE。 You must not be so talkative； Diggory。 You must
be all attention to the guests。 You must hear us talk； and not think of
talking； you must see us drink； and not think of drinking； you must see us
eat； and not think of eating。
DIGGORY。 By the laws； your worship； that's parfectly unpossible。
Whenever Diggory sees yeating going forward； ecod； he's always wishing
for a mouthful himself。
HARDCASTLE。 Blockhead！ Is not a belly…full in the kitchen as
good as a belly…full in the parlour？ Stay your stomach with that
reflection。
DIGGORY。 Ecod； I thank your worship； I'll make a shift to stay my
stomach with a slice of cold beef in the pantry。
17
… Page 18…
〃SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER〃
HARDCASTLE。 Diggory； you are too talkative。Then； if I happen
to say a good thing； or tell a good story at table； you must not all burst out
a…laughing； as if you made part of the company。
DIGGORY。 Then ecod your worship must not tell the story of Ould
Grouse in the gun…room： I can't help laughing at thathe！ he！ he！for the
soul of me。 We have laughed at that these twenty yearsha！ ha！ ha！
HARDCASTLE。 Ha！ ha！ ha！ The story is a good one。 Well；
honest Diggory； you may laugh at thatbut still remember to be attentive。
Suppose one of the company should call for a glass of wine； how will you
behave？ A glass of wine； sir； if you please （to DIGGORY）。Eh； why
don't you move？
DIGGORY。 Ecod； your worship； I never have courage till I see the
eatables and drinkables brought upo' the table； and then I'm as bauld as a
lion。
HARDCASTLE。 What； will nobody move？
FIRST SERVANT。 I'm not to leave this pleace。
SECOND SERVANT。 I'm sure it's no pleace of mine。
THIRD SERVANT。 Nor mine； for sartain。
DIGGORY。 Wauns； and I'm sure it canna be mine。
HARDCASTLE。 You numskulls！ and so while； like your betters； you
are quarrelling for places； the guests must be starved。 O you dunces！ I
find I must begin all over againBut don't I hear a coach drive into the
yard？ To your posts； you blockheads。 I'll go in the mean time and give
my old friend's son a hearty reception at the gate。 ＇Exit
HARDCASTLE。＇
DIGGORY。 By the elevens； my pleace is gone quite out of my head。
ROGER。 I know that my pleace is to be everywhere。
FIRST SERVANT。 Where the devil is mine？
SECOND SERVANT。 My pleace is to be nowhere at all； and so I'ze
go about my business。 ＇Exeunt Servants； running about as if frightened；
different ways。＇
Ent