按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
MISS HARDCASTLE。 An odd character indeed。 I shall never be
able to manage him。 What shall I do？ Pshaw； think no more of him； but
trust to occurrences for success。 But how goes on your own affair； my
dear？ has my mother been courting you for my brother Tony as usual？
MISS NEVILLE。 I have just come from one of our agreeable tete…a…
tetes。 She has been saying a hundred tender things； and setting off her
pretty monster as the very pink of perfection。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 And her partiality is such； that she actually
thinks him so。 A fortune like yours is no small temptation。 Besides； as
she has the sole management of it； I'm not surprised to see her unwilling to
let it go out of the family。
MISS NEVILLE。 A fortune like mine； which chiefly consists in
jewels； is no such mighty temptation。 But at any rate； if my dear
Hastings be but constant； I make no doubt to be too hard for her at last。
However； I let her suppose that I am in love with her son； and she never
once dreams that my affections are fixed upon another。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 My good brother holds out stoutly。 I could
almost love him for hating you so。
MISS NEVILLE。 It is a good…natured creature at bottom； and I'm
sure would wish to see me married to anybody but himself。 But my
aunt's bell rings for our afternoon's walk round the improvements。
Allons！ Courage is necessary； as our affairs are critical。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 〃Would it were bed…time； and all were well。〃
＇Exeunt。＇
SCENEAn Alehouse Room。 Several shabby Fellows with punch
and tobacco。 TONY at the head of the table； a little higher than the rest；
a mallet in his hand。
OMNES。 Hurrea！ hurrea！ hurrea！ bravo！
FIRST FELLOW Now； gentlemen； silence for a song。 The 'squire
11
… Page 12…
〃SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER〃
is going to knock himself down for a song。
OMNES。 Ay； a song； a song！
TONY。 Then I'll sing you； gentlemen； a song I made upon this
alehouse； the Three Pigeons。
SONG。
Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain With grammar； and
nonsense； and learning； Good liquor； I stoutly maintain； Gives
GENUS a better discerning。 Let them brag of their heathenish gods；
Their Lethes； their Styxes； and Stygians； Their Quis； and their Quaes； and
their Quods； They're all but a parcel of Pigeons。
Toroddle； toroddle； toroll。
When methodist preachers come down； A…preaching that
drinking is sinful； I'll wager the rascals a crown； They always
preach best with a skinful。 But when you come down with your pence；
For a slice of their scurvy religion； I'll leave it to all men of sense；
But you； my good friend； are the Pigeon。 Toroddle； toroddle；
toroll。
Then come； put the jorum about； And let us be merry and clever；
Our hearts and our liquors are stout； Here's the Three Jolly Pigeons
for ever。 Let some cry up woodcock or hare； Your bustards； your
ducks； and your widgeons； But of all the GAY birds in the air；
Here's a health to the Three Jolly Pigeons。 Toroddle； toroddle；
toroll。
OMNES。 Bravo； bravo！
FIRST FELLOW。 The 'squire has got spunk in him。
SECOND FELLOW。 I loves to hear him sing； bekeays he never
gives us nothing that's low。
THIRD FELLOW。 O damn anything that's low； I cannot bear it。
FOURTH FELLOW。 The genteel thing is the genteel thing any time：
if so be that a gentleman bees in a concatenation accordingly。
THIRD FELLOW。 I likes the maxum of it； Master Muggins。 What；
though I am obligated to dance a bear； a man may be a gentleman for all
that。 May this be my poison； if my bear ever dances but to the very
genteelest of tunes； 〃Water Parted；〃 or 〃The minuet in Ariadne。〃
12
… Page 13…
〃SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER〃
SECOND FELLOW。 What a pity it is the 'squire is not come to his
own。 It would be well for all the publicans within ten miles round of
him。
TONY。 Ecod； and so it would； Master Slang。 I'd then show what it
was to keep choice of company。
SECOND FELLOW。 O he takes after his own father for that。 To be
sure old 'Squire Lumpkin was the finest gentleman I ever set my eyes on。
For winding the straight horn； or beating a thicket for a hare； or a wench；
he never had his fellow。 It was a saying in the place； that he kept the best
horses； dogs； and girls； in the whole county。
TONY。 Ecod； and when I'm of age； I'll be no bastard； I promise you。
I have been thinking of Bet Bouncer and the miller's grey mare to begin
with。 But come； my boys； drink about and be merry； for you pay no
reckoning。 Well； Stingo； what's the matter？
Enter Landlord。
LANDLORD。 There be two gentlemen in a post…chaise at the door。
They have lost their way upo' the forest； and they are talking something
about Mr。 Hardcastle。
TONY。 As sure as can be； one of them must be the gentleman that's
coming down to court my sister。 Do they seem to be Londoners？
LANDLORD。 I believe they may。 They look woundily like
Frenchmen。
TONY。 Then desire them to step this way； and I'll set them right in a
twinkling。 （Exit Landlord。） Gentlemen； as they mayn't be good enough
company for you； step down for a moment； and I'll be with you in the
squeezing of a lemon。 ＇Exeunt mob。＇
TONY。 （solus）。 Father…in…law has been calling me whelp and
hound this half year。 Now； if I pleased； I could be so revenged upon the
old grumbletonian。 But then I'm afraidafraid of what？ I shall soon be
worth fifteen hundred a year； and let him frighten me out of THAT if he
can。
Enter Landlord； conducting MARLOW and HASTINGS。
MARLOW。 What a tedious uncomfortable day have we had of it！
We were told it was but forty miles across the country； and we have come
13
… Page 14…
〃SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER〃
above threescore。
HASTINGS。 And all； Marlow； from that unaccountable reserve of
yours； that would not let us inquire more frequently on the way。
MARLOW。 I own； Hastings； I am unwilling to lay myself under an
obligation to every one I meet； and often stand the chance of an
unmannerly answer。
HASTINGS。 At present； however； we are not likely to receive any
answer。
TONY。 No offence； gentlemen。 But I'm told you have been
inquiring for one Mr。 Hardcastle in these parts。 Do you know what part
of the country you are in？
HASTINGS。 Not in the least； sir； but should thank you for
information。
TONY。 Nor the way you came？
HASTINGS。 No； sir： but if you can inform us
TONY。 Why； gentlemen； if you know neither the road you are going；
nor where you are； nor the road you came； the first thing I have to inform
you is； thatyou have lost your way。
MARLOW。 We wanted no ghost to tell us that。
TONY。 Pray； gentlemen； may I be so bold so as to ask the place from
whence you came？
MARLOW。 That's not necessary towards directing us where we are
to go。
TONY。 No offence； but question for question is all fair； you know。
Pray； gentlemen； is not this same Hardcastle a cross…grained； old…fashioned；
whimsical fellow； with an ugly face； a daughter； and a pretty son？
HASTINGS。 We have not seen the gentleman； but he has the family
you mention。
TONY。 The daughter； a tall； trapesing； trolloping； talkative maypole；
the son； a pretty； well…bred； agreeable youth； that everybody is fond of。
MARLOW。 Our informatio