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SUMNER。 O； I am almost choked！ I am almost choked！
HARPOOLE。 Who's within there？ will you shame my Lord？ is there
no beer in the house？ Butler！ I say。
＇Enter Butler。＇
BUTLER。 Here； here。
HARPOOLE。 Give him Beer。
＇He drinks。＇
There； tough old sheepskin's bare； dry meat。
SUMNER。 O sir； let me go no further； I'll eat my word。
HARPOOLE。 Yea； marry； sit！ so I mean： you shall eat more than your
own word； for I'll make you eat all the words in the process。 Why； you
drab monger； cannot the secrets of all the wenches in a shire serve your
turn； but you must come hither with a citation？ with a pox！ I'll cite you。
＇He has then done。＇ A cup of sack for the Sumner。
BUTLER。 Here； sir； here。
HARPOOLE。 Here； slave； I drink to thee。
SUMNER。 I thank you； sir。
HARPOOLE。 Now if thou findst thy stomach wellbecause thou shalt
see my Lord keep's meat in's houseif thou wilt go in； thou shalt have a
piece of beef to the break fast。
SUMNER。 No； I am very well； good Master serving…man； I thank you；
very well sir。
HARPOOLE。 I am glad on't。 Then be walking towards Rochester to
keep your stomach warm； and Sumner； if I may know you disturb a good
wench within this Diocese； if I do not make thee eat her petticoat； if there
were four yards of Kentish cloth in't； I am a villain。
SUMNER。 God be with you； Master serving…man。
＇Exit。＇
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HARPOOLE。 Farewell； Sumner。
＇Enter Constable。＇
CONSTABLE。 God save you Master Harpoole。
HARPOOLE。 Welcome； Constable； welcome； Constable； what news
with thee？
CONSTABLE。 And't please you； Master Harpoole； I am to make hue
and cry； for a fellow with one eye that has robbed two Clothiers； and am to
crave your hindrance； for to search all suspected places； and they say there
was a woman in the company。
HARPOOLE。 Hast thou been at the Alehouse？ hast thou sought there？
CONSTABLE。 I durst not search； sir； in my Lord Cobham's liberty；
except I had some of his servants； which are for my warrant。
HARPOOLE。 An honest Constable！ an honest Constable！ Call forth
him that keeps the Alehouse here。
CONSTABLE。 Ho！ who's within there？
＇Enter Ale…man。＇
ALE MAN。 Who calls there？ come near a God's name！ Oh； is't you；
Master Constable and Master Harpoole？ you are welcome with all my
heart。 What make you here so early this morning？
HARPOOLE。 Sirra； what strangers do you lodge？ there is a robbery
done this morning； and we are to search for all suspected persons。
ALE MAN。 God's bores！ I am sorry for't： yfaith； sir； I lodge no body
but a good honest merry priest；they call him sir John a Wrotham and a
handsome woman that is his niece； that he says he has some suit in law for；
and as they go up & down to London； sometimes they lie at my house。
HARPOOLE。 What； is he here in thy house now？
ALE MAN。 She is； sir。 I promise you； sir； he is a quiet man； and
because he will not trouble too many rooms； he makes the woman lie
every night at his bed's feet。
HARPOOLE。 Bring her forth！ Constable； bring her forth！ let's see
her； let's see her。
ALE MAN。 Dorothy； you must come down to Master Constable。
DOLL。 Anon； forsooth。
＇She enters。＇
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John Oldcastle
HARPOOLE。 Welcome； sweet lass； welcome。
DOLL。 I thank you； good Master serving…man； and master Constable
also。
HARPOOLE。 A plump girl by the mass； a plump girl！ Ha； Doll； ha！
Wilt thou forsake the priest； and go with me？
CONSTABLE。 A！ well said； Master Harpoole； you are a merry old
man； yfaith。 Yfaith； you will never be old。 Now； by the mack； a pretty
wench indeed！
HARPOOLE。 Ye old mad merry Constable； art thou advised of that。
Ha； well said； Doll！ fill some ale here。
DOLL。 ＇Aside。＇ Oh； if I wist this old priest would not stick to me； by
Jove； I would ingle this old serving…man。
HARPOOLE。 Oh you old mad colt！ yfaith； I'll feak you！ fill all the
pots in the house there。
CONSTABLE。 Oh； well said； Master Harpoole！ you are heart of oak
when all's done。
HARPOOLE。 Ha； Doll； thou hast a sweet pair of lips； by the mass。
DOLL。 Truly you are a most sweet old man； as ever I saw； by my troth；
you have a face； able to make any woman in love with you。
HARPOOLE。 Fill； sweet Doll； I'll drink to thee。
DOLL。 'I pledge you； sir； and thank you therefore； And I pray you let it
come。'
HARPOOLE。 ＇Embracing her。＇ Doll； canst thou love me？ A mad
merry lass！ would to God I had never seen thee！
DOLL。 I warrant you； you will not out of my thoughts this
twelvemonth； truly you are as full of favour； as a man may be。 Ah； these
sweet grey locks！ by my troth； they are most lovely。
CONSTABLE。 God boores； master Harpoole； I will have one buss too。
HARPOOLE。 No licking for you； Constable！ hand off； hand off！
CONSTABLE。 Bur lady； I love kissing as well as you。
DOLL。 Oh； you are an odd boy； you have a wanton eye of your own！
ah； you sweet sugar lipped wanton； you will win as many women's
hearts as come in your company。
＇Enter Priest。＇
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WROTHAM。 Doll； come hither。
HARPOOLE。 Priest； she shall not。
DOLL。 I'll come anon； sweet love。
WROTHAM。 Hand off； old fornicator。
HARPOOLE。 Vicar； I'll sit here in spite of thee。 Is this fit stuff for a
priest to carry up and down with him？
WROTHAM。 Ah； sirra； dost thou not know that a good fellow parson
may have a chapel of ease； where his parish Church is far off？
HARPOOLE。 You whoreson stoned Vicar！
WROTHAM。 You old stale ruffin！ you lion of Cotswold！
HARPOOLE。 Swounds； Vicar； I'll geld you！
＇Flies upon him。＇
CONSTABLE。 Keep the King's peace！
DOLL。 Murder！ murder！ murder！
ALE MAN。 Hold！ as you are men； hold！ for God's sake be quiet！ Put
up your weapons； you draw not in my house。
HARPOOLE。 You whoreson bawdy priest！
WROTHAM。 You old mutton monger！
CONSTABLE。 Hold； sir John； hold！
DOLL。 ＇To the Priest。＇ I pray thee； sweet hear； be quiet。 I was but
sitting to drink a pot of ale with him； even as kind a man as ever I met
with。
HARPOOLE。 Thou art a thief； I warrant thee。
WROTHAM。 Then I am but as thou hast been in thy days。 Let's not
be ashamed of our trade； the King has been a thief himself。
DOLL。 Come； be quiet。 Hast thou sped？
WROTHAM。 I have； wench： here be crowns； yfaith。
DOLL。 Come； let's be all friends then。
CONSTABLE。 Well said； mistress Dorothy； yfaith。
HARPOOLE。 Thou art the maddest priest that ever I met with。
WROTHAM。 Give me thy hand； thou art as good a fellow。 I am a
singer； a drinker； a bencher； a wencher！ I can say a mass； and kiss a lass！
Faith； I have a parsonage； and because I would not be at too much
charges； this wench serves me for a sexton。
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HARPOOLE。 Well said； mad priest； we'll in and be friends。
＇Exeunt。＇
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SCENE II。 London。 A room in the Axe Inn；
without Bishop…gate。
＇Enter sir Roger Acton； master Bourne； master Beverly； and William
Murley the brewer of Dunstable。＇
ACTON。 Now； master Murley； I am well assured You know our arrant；
and do like the cause； Being a man affected as we are。
MURLEY。 Mary； God dild ye； dainty my dear！ no master； good sir
Roger Acton Knight； master Bourne； and master Beverly esquires；
gentlemen； and justices of the peaceno master I； but plain W