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were stars—points of light
and reason And then you shot across my sky like a meteor。 Suddenly
everything was on fire； there
was brilliancy； there was beauty。 When you were gone； when the meteor had
fallen over the horizon；
everything went black。 Nothing had changed； but my eyes were blinded by the
light。 I couldn't see the
stars anymore。 And there was no more reason for anything。〃
I wanted to believe him。 But this was my life without him that he was
describing； not the other way
around。
〃Your eyes will adjust；〃 I mumbled。
〃That's just the problem—they can't。〃
〃What about your distractions？〃
He laughed without a trace of humor。 〃Just part of the lie； love。 There was no
distraction from the the
agony。 My heart hasn't beat in almost ninety years； but this was different。 It
was like my heart was
gone—like I was hollow。 Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with
you。〃
〃That's funny；〃 I muttered。
He arched one perfect eyebrow。 〃Funny？ 〃
〃I meant strange—I thought it was just me。 Lots of pieces of me went missing；
too。 I haven't been able to
really breathe in so long。〃 I filled my lungs； luxuriating in the sensation。
〃And my heart。 That was definitely
lost。〃
He closed his eyes and laid his ear over my heart again。 I let my cheek press
against his hair； felt the
texture of it on my skin； smelled the delicious scent of him。
〃Tracking wasn't a distraction then？〃 I asked； curious； and also needing to
distract myself。 I was very
much in danger of hoping。 I wouldn't be able to stop myself for long。 My heart
throbbed； singing in my
chest。
〃No。〃 He sighed。 〃That was never a distraction。 It was an obligation。〃
〃What does that mean？〃
〃It means that； even though I never expected any danger from Victoria； I
wasn't going to let her get away
with Well； like I said； I was horrible at it。 I traced her as far as Texas；
but then I followed a false lead
down to Brazil—and really she came here。〃 He groaned。 〃I wasn't even on the
right continent！ And all the
while； worse than my worst fears—〃
〃You were hunting Victoria？〃 I half…shrieked as soon as I could find my voice；
shooting through two
octaves。
Charlie's distant snores stuttered； and then picked up a regular rhythm again。
〃Not well；〃 Edward answered； studying my outraged expression with a confused
look。 〃But I'll do better
this time。 She won't be tainting perfectly good air by breathing in and out
for much longer。〃
〃That is out of the question；〃 I managed to choke out。 Insanity。 Even if he
had Emmett or Jasper help
him。 Even if he had Emmett and Jasper help。 It was worse than my other
imaginings： Jacob Black
standing across a small space from Victoria's vicious and feline figure。 I
couldn't bear to picture Edward
there； even though he was so much more durable than my half…human best friend。
〃It's too late for her。 I might have let the other time slide； but not now；
not after—〃
I interrupted him again； trying to sound calm。 〃Didn't you just promise that
you weren't going to leave？〃 I
asked； fighting the words as I said them； nor letting them plant themselves in
my heart。 〃That isn't exactly
patible with an extended tracking expedition； is it？〃
He frowned。 A snarl began to build low in his chest。 〃I will keep my promise；
Bella。 But Victoria〃—the
snarl became more pronounced—〃is going to die。 Soon。〃
〃Let's not be hasty；〃 I said； trying to hide my panic。 〃Maybe she's not ing
back。 Jake's pack probably
scared her off。 There's really no reason to go looking for her。 Besides； I've
got bigger problems than
Victoria。〃
Edward's eyes narrowed； but he nodded。 〃It's true。 The werewolves are a
problem。〃
I snorted。 〃I wasn't talking about Jacob。 My problems are a lot worse that a
handful of adolescent
wolves getting themselves into trouble。〃
Edward looked as if he were about to say something； and then thought better of
it。 His teeth clicked
together； and he spoke through them。 〃Really？〃 he asked。 〃Then what would be
your greatest problem？
That would make Victoria's returning for you seem like such an inconsequential
matter in parison？〃
〃How about the second greatest？〃 I hedged。
〃All right；〃 he agreed； suspicious。
I paused。 I wasn't sure I could say the name。 〃There are others who are ing
to look for me；〃 I
reminded him in a subdued whisper。
He sighed； but the reaction was not as strong as I would have imagined after
his response to Victoria。
〃The Volturi are only the second greatest？〃
〃You don't seem that upset about it；〃 I noted。
〃Well； we have plenty of time to think it through。 Time means something very
different to them than it
does to you； or even me。 They count years the way you count days。 I wouldn't
be surprised if you were
thirty before you crossed their minds again；〃 he added lightly。
Horror washed through me。
Thirty。
So his promises meant nothing； in the end。 If I were going to turn thirty
someday； then he couldn't be
planning on staying long。 The harsh pain of this knowledge made me realize
that I'd already begun to
hope； without giving myself permission to do 5。0。
〃You don't have to be afraid；〃 he said； anxious as he watched the tears dew up
again on the rims of my
eyes。 〃I won't let them hurt you。〃
〃While you're here。〃 Not that I cared what happened to me when he left。
He took my face between his two stone hands； holding it tightly while his
midnight eyes glared into mine
with the gravitational force of a black hole。 〃I will never leave you again。〃
〃But you said thirty；〃 I whispered。 The tears leaked over the edge。 〃What？
You're going to stay； but let
me get all old anyway？ Right。〃
His eyes softened； while his mouth went hard。 〃That's exactly what I'm going
to do。 What choice have I？
I cannot be without you； but I will not destroy your soul。〃
〃Is this really〃 I tried to keep my voice even； but this question was too
hard。 I remembered his face
when Aro had almost begged him to consider making me immortal。 The sick look
there。 Was this fixation
with keeping me human really about my soul； or was it because he wasn't sure
that he wanted me around
that long？
〃Yes？〃 he asked； waiting for my question。
I asked a different one。 Almost—but not quite—as hard。
〃But what about when I get so old that people think I'm your mother？ Your
grandmother？〃 My voice
was pale with revulsion—I could see Gran's face again in the dream mirror。
His whole face was soft now。 He brushed the tears from my cheek with his lips。
〃That doesn't mean
anything to me；〃 he breathed against my skin。 〃You will always be the most
beautiful thing in my world。
Of course〃 He hesitated； flinching slightly。 〃If you outgrew me—if you
wanted something more—I
would understand that； Bella。 I promise I wouldn't stand in your way if you
wanted to leave me。〃
His eyes were liquid onyx and utterly sincere。 He spoke as if he'd put endless
amounts of thought into this
asinine plan。
〃You do realize that I'll die eventually； right？〃 I demanded。
He'd thought about this part； too。 〃I'll follow after as soon as I can。〃
〃That is seriously〃I looked for the right word。 〃Sick。〃
〃Bella； it's the only right way left—〃
〃Let's just back up for a minute；〃 I said； feeling angry made it so much
easier to be clear； decisive。 〃You
do remember the Volturi； right？ I can't stay human forever。 They'll kill me。
Even if they don't think of me
tillI'm thirty〃—I hissed the word—〃do you really think they'll forget？〃
〃No；〃 he answered slowly； shaking his head。 〃They won't forget。 But〃
〃But？〃
He grinned while I stared at him warily。 Maybe I wasn't the only crazy one。
〃I have a few plans。〃
〃And these plans；〃 I said； my voice getting more acidic with each word。 〃These
plans all center around
me staying human。〃
My attitude hardened his expression。 〃Naturally。〃 His tone was brusque； his
divine face arrogant。
We glowered at each other for a long minute。
Then I took a deep breath； squared my shoulders； I pushed his arms away so
that I could sit up。
〃Do you want me to leave？〃 he asked； and it made my heart flutter to see that
this idea hurt him； though
he tried not to show it。
〃No；〃 I told him。 〃I'm leaving。〃
He watched me suspiciously as I climbed out of the bed and fumbled around in
the dark room； looking
for my shoes。
〃May I ask where you are going。'〃 he asked。
〃I'm going to your house；〃 I told him； still feeling around blindly。
He got up and came to my side。 〃Here are your shoes。 How did you plan to get
there？〃
〃My truck。〃
〃That will probably wake Charlie；〃 he offered as a deterrent。
I sighed。 〃I know。 But honestly； I'll be grounded for weeks as it is。 How much
more trouble can I really
getin？〃
〃None。 He'll blame me； not you。〃
〃If you have a better idea； I'm all ears。〃
〃Stay here；〃 he suggested； but his expression wasn't hopeful。
〃No dice。 But you go ahead and make yourself at home；〃 I encouraged； surprised
at how natural my
teasing sounded； and headed for the door。
He was there before me； blocking my way。
I frowned； and turned for the window。 It wasn't really that far to the ground；
and it was mostly grass