按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
the wall； and the next moment； stooping down； I would place the
point of my finger upon the floor： and so I continued to do day
after day； frequently I would struggle to resist the impulse； but
invariably in vain。 I have even rushed away from the object； but I
was sure to return； the impulse was too strong to be resisted： I
quickly hurried back； compelled by the feeling within me to touch
the object。 Now I need not tell you that what impelled me to these
actions was the desire to prevent my mother's death； whenever I
touched any particular object； it was with the view of baffling the
evil chance； as you would call it … in this instance my mother's
death。
'A favourable crisis occurred in my mother's complaint； and she
recovered； this crisis took place about six o'clock in the morning；
almost simultaneously with it there happened to myself a rather
remarkable circumstance connected with the nervous feeling which
was rioting in my system。 I was lying in bed in a kind of uneasy
doze； the only kind of rest which my anxiety on account of my
mother permitted me at this time to take； when all at once I sprang
up as if electrified； the mysterious impulse was upon me； and it
urged me to go without delay； and climb a stately elm behind the
house； and touch the topmost branch； otherwise … you know the rest
… the evil chance would prevail。 Accustomed for some time as I had
been； under this impulse； to perform extravagant actions； I confess
to you that the difficulty and peril of such a feat startled me； I
reasoned against the feeling； and strove more strenuously than I
had ever done before； I even made a solemn vow not to give way to
the temptation； but I believe nothing less than chains； and those
strong ones； could have restrained me。 The demoniac influence； for
I can call it nothing else； at length prevailed； it compelled me to
rise； to dress myself； to descend the stairs； to unbolt the door；
and to go forth； it drove me to the foot of the tree； and it
compelled me to climb the trunk； this was a tremendous task； and I
only accomplished it after repeated falls and trials。 When I had
got amongst the branches； I rested for a time； and then set about
accomplishing the remainder of the ascent； this for some time was
not so difficult； for I was now amongst the branches； as I
approached the top； however； the difficulty became greater； and
likewise the danger； but I was a light boy； and almost as nimble as
a squirrel； and； moreover； the nervous feeling was within me；
impelling me upward。 It was only by means of a spring； however；
that I was enabled to touch the top of the tree； I sprang； touched
the top of the tree； and fell a distance of at least twenty feet；
amongst the branches； had I fallen to the bottom I must have been
killed； but I fell into the middle of the tree； and presently found
myself astride upon one of the boughs； scratched and bruised all
over； I reached the ground； and regained my chamber unobserved； I
flung myself on my bed quite exhausted； presently they came to tell
me that my mother was better … they found me in the state which I
have described； and in a fever besides。 The favourable crisis must
have occurred just about the time that I performed the magic touch；
it certainly was a curious coincidence； yet I was not weak enough；
even though a child； to suppose that I had baffled the evil chance
by my daring feat。
'Indeed； all the time that I was performing these strange feats； I
knew them to be highly absurd； yet the impulse to perform them was
irresistible … a mysterious dread hanging over me till I had given
way to it； even at that early period I frequently used to reason
within myself as to what could be the cause of my propensity to
touch； but of course I could come to no satisfactory conclusion
respecting it； being heartily ashamed of the practice； I never
spoke of it to any one； and was at all times highly solicitous that
no one should observe my weakness。'
CHAPTER LXV
Maternal anxiety … The baronet … Little zest … Country life … Mr。
Speaker！ … The craving … Spirited address … An author。
AFTER a short pause my host resumed his narration。 'Though I was
never sent to school； my education was not neglected on that
account； I had tutors in various branches of knowledge； under whom
I made a tolerable progress； by the time I was eighteen I was able
to read most of the Greek and Latin authors with facility； I was
likewise； to a certain degree； a mathematician。 I cannot say that
I took much pleasure in my studies； my chief aim in endeavouring to
accomplish my tasks was to give pleasure to my beloved parent； who
watched my progress with anxiety truly maternal。 My life at this
period may be summed up in a few words： I pursued my studies；
roamed about the woods； walked the green lanes occasionally； cast
my fly in a trout stream； and sometimes； but not often； rode a…
hunting with my uncle。 A considerable part of my time was devoted
to my mother； conversing with her and reading to her； youthful
companions I had none； and as to my mother； she lived in the
greatest retirement； devoting herself to the superintendence of my
education； and the practice of acts of charity； nothing could be
more innocent than this mode of life； and some people say that in
innocence there is happiness； yet I can't say that I was happy。 A
continual dread overshadowed my mind； it was the dread of my
mother's death。 Her constitution had never been strong； and it had
been considerably shaken by her last illness； this I knew； and this
I saw … for the eyes of fear are marvellously keen。 Well； things
went on in this way till I had come of age； my tutors were then
dismissed； and my uncle the baronet took me in hand； telling my
mother that it was high time for him to exert his authority； that I
must see something of the world； for that； if I remained much
longer with her； I should be ruined。 〃You must consign him to me；〃
said he； 〃and I will introduce him to the world。〃 My mother sighed
and consented； so my uncle the baronet introduced me to the world；
took me to horse…races and to London； and endeavoured to make a man
of me according to his idea of the term； and in part succeeded。 I
became moderately dissipated … I say moderately； for dissipation
had but little zest for me。
'In this manner four years passed over。 It happened that I was in
London in the height of the season with my uncle； at his house； one
morning he summoned me into the parlour； he was standing before the
fire； and looked very serious。 〃I have had a letter；〃 said he；
〃your mother is very ill。〃 I staggered； and touched the nearest
object to me； nothing was said for two or three minutes； and then
my uncle put his lips to my ear and whispered something。 I fell
down senseless。 My mother was 。 。 。 I remember nothing for a long
time … for two years I was out of my mind； at the end of this time
I recovered； or partly so。 My uncle the baronet was very kind to
me； he advised me to travel； he offered to go with me。 I told him
he was very kind； but I would rather go by myself。 So I went
abroad； and saw； amongst other things； Rome and the Pyramids。 By
frequent change of scene my mind became not happy； but tolerably
tranquil。 I continued abroad some years； when； becoming tired of
travelling； I came home； found my uncle the baronet alive； hearty；
and unmarried； as he still is。 He received me very kindly； took me
to Newmarket； and said that he hoped by this time I was become
quite a man of the world； by his advice I took a house in town； in
which I lived during the season。 In summer I strolled from one
watering…place to another； and； in order to pass the time； I became
very dissipated。
'At last I became as tired of dissipation as I had previously been
of travelling； and I determined to retire to the country； and live
on my paternal estate； this resolution I was not slow in putting
into effect； I sold my house in town； repaired and refurnished my
country house； and； for at least ten years； lived a regular country
life； I gave dinner parties； prosecuted poachers； was charitable to
the poor； and now and then went into my library； during this time I
was seldom or never visited by the magic impulse； the reason being
that there was nothing in the wide world for which I cared
sufficiently to move a finger to preserve it。 When the ten years；
however； were nearly ended； I started out of bed one morning in a
fit of horror； exclaiming； 〃Mercy； mercy！ what will become of me？
I am afraid I shall go mad。 I have lived thirty…five years and
upwards without doing anything； shall I pass through life in this
manner？ Horror！' And then in rapid succession I touched three
different objects。
'I dressed myself and went down； determ