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them。'
Scarcely knowing what to say； I made an observation at random。
'You show； by your own conduct；' said I； 'that there are other
things worth following besides dog…fighting。 You practise rat…
catching and badger…baiting as well。'
The dog…fancier eyed me with supreme contempt。
'Your friend here；' said he； 'might well call you a new one。 When
I talks of dog…fighting； I of course means rat…catching； and
badger…baiting； ay； and bull…baiting too； just as when I speaks
religiously； when I says one I means not one but three。 And
talking of religion puts me in mind that I have something else to
do besides chaffing here； having a batch of dogs to send off by
this night's packet to the Pope of Rome。'
But at last I had seen enough of what London had to show； whether
strange or commonplace； so at least I thought； and I ceased to
accompany my friend in his rambles about town； and to partake of
his adventures。 Our friendship； however； still continued unabated；
though I saw； in consequence； less of him。 I reflected that time
was passing on … that the little money I had brought to town was
fast consuming； and that I had nothing to depend upon but my own
exertions for a fresh supply； and I returned with redoubled
application to my pursuits。
CHAPTER XXXVI
Occupations … Traduttore traditore … Ode to the Mist … Apple and
pear … Reviewing … Current literature … Oxford…like manner … A
plain story … Ill…regulated mind … Unsnuffed candle … Strange
dreams。
I COMPILED the Chronicles of Newgate； I reviewed books for the
Review established on an entirely new principle； and I occasionally
tried my best to translate into German portions of the publisher's
philosophy。 In this last task I experienced more than one
difficulty。 I was a tolerable German scholar； it is true； and I
had long been able to translate from German into English with
considerable facility； but to translate from a foreign language
into your own is a widely different thing from translating from
your own into a foreign language； and； in my first attempt to
render the publisher into German； I was conscious of making
miserable failures； from pure ignorance of German grammar； however；
by the assistance of grammars and dictionaries； and by extreme
perseverance； I at length overcame all the difficulties connected
with the German language。 But； alas！ another difficulty remained；
far greater than any connected with German … a difficulty connected
with the language of the publisher … the language which the great
man employed in his writings was very hard to understand； I say in
his writings … for his colloquial English was plain enough。 Though
not professing to be a scholar； he was much addicted； when writing；
to the use of Greek and Latin terms； not as other people used them；
but in a manner of his own； which set the authority of dictionaries
at defiance； the consequence was that I was sometimes utterly at a
loss to understand the meaning of the publisher。 Many a quarter of
an hour did I pass at this period； staring at periods of the
publisher； and wondering what he could mean； but in vain； till at
last； with a shake of the head； I would snatch up the pen； and
render the publisher literally into German。 Sometimes I was almost
tempted to substitute something of my own for what the publisher
had written； but my conscience interposed； the awful words；
Traduttore traditore； commenced ringing in my ears； and I asked
myself whether I should be acting honourably towards the publisher；
who had committed to me the delicate task of translating him into
German； should I be acting honourably towards him； in making him
speak in German in a manner different from that in which he
expressed himself in English？ No； I could not reconcile such
conduct with any principle of honour； by substituting something of
my own in lieu of these mysterious passages of the publisher； I
might be giving a fatal blow to his whole system of philosophy。
Besides； when translating into English； had I treated foreign
authors in this manner？ Had I treated the minstrels of the Kaempe
Viser in this manner？ … No。 Had I treated Ab Gwilym in this
manner？ Even when translating his Ode to the Mist； in which he is
misty enough； had I attempted to make Ab Gwilym less misty？ No； on
referring to my translation； I found that Ab Gwilym in my hands was
quite as misty as in his own。 Then； seeing that I had not ventured
to take liberties with people who had never put themselves into my
hands for the purpose of being rendered； how could I venture to
substitute my own thoughts and ideas for the publisher's； who had
put himself into my hands for that purpose？ Forbid it every proper
feeling！ … so I told the Germans； in the publisher's own way； the
publisher's tale of an apple and a pear。
I at first felt much inclined to be of the publisher's opinion with
respect to the theory of the pear。 After all； why should the earth
be shaped like an apple； and not like a pear？ … it would certainly
gain in appearance by being shaped like a pear。 A pear being a
handsomer fruit than an apple； the publisher is probably right；
thought I； and I will say that he is right on this point in the
notice which I am about to write of his publication for the Review。
And yet I don't know … said I； after a long fit of musing … I don't
know but what there is more to be said for the Oxford theory。 The
world may be shaped like a pear； but I don't know that it is； but
one thing I know； which is； that it does not taste like a pear； I
have always liked pears； but I don't like the world。 The world to
me tastes much more like an apple； and I have never liked apples。
I will uphold the Oxford theory … besides； I am writing in an
Oxford Review； and am in duty bound to uphold the Oxford theory。
So in my notice I asserted that the world was round； I quoted
Scripture； and endeavoured to prove that the world was typified by
the apple in Scripture； both as to shape and properties。 'An apple
is round；' said I； 'and the world is round … the apple is a sour；
disagreeable fruit； and who has tasted much of the world without
having his teeth set on edge？' I； however； treated the publisher；
upon the whole； in the most urbane and Oxford…like manner；
complimenting him upon his style； acknowledging the general
soundness of his views； and only differing with him in the affair
of the apple and pear。
I did not like reviewing at all … it was not to my taste； it was
not in my way； I liked it far less than translating the publisher's
philosophy； for that was something in the line of one whom a
competent judge had surnamed Lavengro。 I never could understand
why reviews were instituted； works of merit do not require to be
reviewed； they can speak for themselves； and require no praising；
works of no merit at all will die of themselves； they require no
killing。 The Review to which I was attached was； as has been
already intimated； established on an entirely new plan； it
professed to review all new publications； which certainly no Review
had ever professed to do before； other Reviews never pretending to
review more than one…tenth of the current literature of the day。
When I say it professed to review all new publications； I should
add； which should be sent to it； for； of course； the Review would
not acknowledge the existence of publications； the authors of which
did not acknowledge the existence of the Review。 I don't think；
however； that the Review had much cause to complain of being
neglected； I have reason to believe that at least nine…tenths of
the publications of the day were sent to the Review； and in due
time reviewed。 I had good opportunity of judging … I was connected
with several departments of the Review； though more particularly
with the poetical and philosophic ones。 An English translation of
Kant's philosophy made its appearance on my table the day before
its publication。 In my notice of this work I said that the English
shortly hoped to give the Germans a QUID PRO QUO。 I believe at
that time authors were much in the habit of publishing at their own
expense。 All the poetry which I reviewed appeared to be published
at the expense of the authors。 If I am asked how I comported
myself； under all circumstances； as a reviewer … I answer； … I did
not forget that I was connected with a Review established on Oxford
principles； the editor of which had translated Quintilian。 All the
publications which fell under my notice I treated in a gentlemanly
and Oxford…like manner； no personalities … no vituperation … no
shabby insinuations； decorum； decorum was the order of the day。
Occasionally a word of admonition； but gently expressed； as an
Oxford undergraduate might have expressed it； or master of arts。