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actions which determine other people's opinions of us （as well as with
the course of our own lives） than we generally suppose。 A man with
delicately…strung nerves says and does things which often lead us to
think more meanly of him than he deserves。 It is his great misfortune
constantly to present himself at his worst。 On the other hand； a man
provided with nerves vigorously constituted； is provided also with a
constitutional health and hardihood which express themselves brightly in
his manners； and which lead to a mistaken impression that his nature is
what it appears to be on the surface。 Having good health； he has good
spirits。 Having good spirits； he wins as an agreeable companion on the
persons with whom he comes in contactalthough he may be hiding all the
while； under an outer covering which is physically wholesome； an inner
nature which is morally diseased。 In the last of these typical men； I saw
reflectedNugent。 In the firstOscar。 All that was feeblest and poorest
in Oscar's nature had shown itself on the surface in past times； to the
concealment of its stronger and its nobler side。 There had been something
hidden in this supersensitive man； who had shrunk under all the small
trials of his life in our village； which had proved firm enough； when the
greatness of the need called on it； to sustain the terrible disaster that
had fallen on him。 The nearer I got to the end of my journey； the more
certain I felt that I was only now learning （bitterly as he had
disappointed me） to estimate Oscar's character at its true value。
Inspired by this conviction； I began already to face our hopeless
prospects boldly。 As long as I had life and strength to help her； I
determined that Lucilla should _not_ lose the man； whose best qualities I
had failed to discover until he had made up his mind to turn his back on
her for ever。
When I reached the rectory； I was informed that Mr。 Finch wished to speak
to me。 My anxiety about Lucilla made me unwilling to submit to any delay
in seeing her。 I sent a message； informing the rector that I would be
with him in a few minutesand ran up…stairs into Lucilla's room。
〃Has it been a very long day； my dear？〃 I asked； when our first greetings
were over。
〃It has been a delightful day；〃 she answered joyously。 〃Grosse took me
out for a walk； before he went back to London。 Can you guess where our
walk led us？〃
A chilly sense of misgiving seized me。 I drew back from her。 I looked at
her lovely face without the slightest admiration of itworse still； with
downright distrust of it。
〃Where did you go？〃 I asked。
〃To Browndown； of course！〃
An exclamation escaped me（〃Infamous Grosse！〃 spit out between my teeth
in my own language）。 I could _not_ help it。 I should have died if I had
repressed itI was in such a rage。
Lucilla laughed。 〃There！ there！ It was my fault； I insisted on speaking
to Oscar。 As soon as I had my own way； I behaved perfectly。 I never asked
to have the bandage taken off； I was satisfied with only speaking to him。
Dear old Grossehe isn't half as hard on me as you and my fatherwas
with us； all the time。 It has done me so much good。 Don't be sulky about
it； you darling Pratolungo！ My 'surgeon optic' sanctions my imprudence。 I
won't ask you to go with me to Browndown to…morrow； Oscar is coming to
return my visit。〃
Those last words decided me。 I had had a weary time of it since the
morning； but （for me） the day was not at an end yet。 I said to myself； 〃I
will have it out with Mr。 Nugent Dubourg； before I go to my bed
to…night！〃
〃Can you spare me for a little while？〃 I asked。 〃I must go to the other
side of the house。 Your father wishes to speak to me。
Lucilla started。 〃About what？〃 she inquired eagerly。
〃About business in London；〃 I answeredand left her； before her
curiosity could madden me （in the state I was in at that moment） with
more questions。
I found the rector prepared to favor me with his usual flow of language。
Fifty Mr。 Finches could not have possessed themselves of my attention in
the humour I was in at that moment。 To the reverend gentleman's
amazement； it was I who beganand not he。
〃I have just left Lucilla； Mr。 Finch。 I know what has happened。〃
〃Wait a minute； Madame Pratolungo！ One thing is of the utmost importance
to begin with。 Do you thoroughly understand that I am； in no sense of the
word； to blame？〃
〃Thoroughly；〃 I interposed。 〃Of course； they would not have gone to
Browndown； if you had consented to let Nugent Dubourg into the house。〃
〃Stop！〃 said Mr。 Finch； elevating his right hand。 〃My good creature； you
are in a state of hysterical precipitation。 I will be heard！ I did more
than refuse my consent。 When the man GrosseI insist on your composing
yourselfwhen the man Grosse came and spoke to me about it； I did more；
I say； infinitely more； than refuse my consent。 You know my force of
languagedon't be alarmed！ I said； 'Sir！ As pastor and parent； My Foot
is down'〃
〃I understand； Mr。 Finch。 Whatever you said to Herr Grosse was quite
useless； he entirely ignored your personal point of view。〃
〃Madame Pratolungo！〃
〃He found Lucilla dangerously agitated by her separation from Oscar： he
asserted； what he calls； his professional freedom of action。〃
〃Madame Pratolungo！〃
〃You persisted in closing your doors to Nugent Dubourg。 _He_ persisted；
on his sideand took Lucilla to Browndown。〃
Mr。 Finch got on his feet； and asserted himself at the full pitch of his
tremendous voice。
〃Silence！〃 he shouted； with a smack of his open hand on the table at his
side。
I didn't care。 _I_ shouted。 _I_ came down； with a smack of my hand； on
the opposite side of the table。
〃One question； sir； before I leave you；〃 I said。 〃Since your daughter
went to Browndown； you have had many hours at your disposal。 Have you
seen Mr。 Nugent Dubourg？〃
The Pope of Dimchurch suddenly collapsed； in full fulmination of his
domestic Bulls。
〃Pardon me；〃 he replied； adopting his most elaborately polite manner。
〃This requires considerable explanation。〃
I declined to wait for considerable explanation。 〃You have not seen him？〃
I said。
〃I have _not_ seen him；〃 echoed Mr。 Finch。 〃My position towards Nugent
Dubourg is very remarkable； Madame Pratolungo。 In my parental character；
I should like to wring his neck。 In my clerical character； I feel it
incumbent on me to pauseand write to him。 You feel the responsibility？
You understand the distinction？〃
I understood that he was afraid。 Answering him by an inclination of the
head （I hate a coward！） I walked silently to the door。
Mr。 Finch returned my bow with a look of helpless perplexity。 〃Are you
going to leave me？〃 he inquired blandly。
〃I am going to Browndown。〃
If I had said that I was going to a place which the rector had frequent
occasion to mention in the stronger passages of his sermons； Mr。 Finch's
face could hardly have shown more astonishment and alarm than it
exhibited when I replied to him in those terms。 He lifted his persuasive
right hand； he opened his eloquent lips。 Before the coming overflow of
language could reach me； I was out of the room； on my way to Browndown。
CHAPTER THE THIRTY…EIGHTH
Is there no Excuse for Him？
OSCAR'S dismissed servant （left； during the usual month of warning； to
take care of the house） opened the door to me when I knocked。 Although
the hour was already a late one in primitive Dimchurch； the man showed no
signs of surprise at seeing me。
〃Is Mr。 Nugent Dubourg at home？〃
〃Yes； ma'am。〃 He lowered his voice； and added； 〃I think Mr。 Nugent
expected to see you to…night。〃
Whether he intended it； or not； the servant had done me a good turnhe
had put me on my guard。 Nugent Dubourg understood my character better
than I had understood his。 He had foreseen what would happen； when I
heard of Lucilla's visit on my return to the rectoryand he had； no
doubt； prepared himself accordingly。 I was conscious of a certain nervous
trembling （I own） as I followed the servant to the sitting…room。 At the
moment； however； when he opened the door； this ignoble sensation left me
as suddenly as it had come。 I felt myself Pratolungo's widow again； when
I entered the room。
A reading…lamp； with its shade down； was the only light on the table。
Nugent Dubourg； comfortably reposing in an easychair； sat by the lamp；
with a cigar in his mouth； and a book in his hand。 He put down the book
on the table as he rose to receive me。 Knowing； by this time； what sort
of man I had to deal with； I was determined not to let even the merest
trifles escape me。 It might have its use in helping me to understand him；
if I knew how he had been occupying his mind while he was expecting me to
arrive。 I looked at the book。 It was _Rousseau's Confessions。_
He advanced with his pleasant smile； and offered his hand as if nothing
had happened to disturb our ordinary relations towards each other。 I drew
back a step； and looked at him。
〃Won't you shake hands with me？〃 he asked。
〃I will answer that directly；〃 I said。 〃Where is your brother？〃
〃I don't know。〃
〃When you _do_ know； Mr。 Nugent Dubourg； and when you have brought your
brother back to this house； I will take your handnot before。〃
He