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〃I don't think I understand you；〃 I answered。 〃You cannot surely mean to
say that you would not have been glad； under any circumstances； to
recover your sight？〃
〃That is just what I do mean to say。〃
〃What！ you； who have written to Grosse to hurry the operation； don't care
to see？〃
〃I only care to see Oscar。 And； what is more； I only care to see him
because I am in love with him。 But for that； I really don't feel as if it
would give me any particular pleasure to use my eyes。 I have been blind
so long； I have learnt to do without them。〃
〃And yet； you looked perfectly entranced when Nugent first set you
doubting whether you were blind for life？〃
〃Nugent took me by surprise；〃 she answered； 〃Nugent startled me out of my
senses。 I have had time to think since； I am not carried away by the
enthusiasm of the moment now。 You people who can see attach such an
absurd importance to your eyes！ I set my touch； my dear； against your
eyes； as much the most trustworthy； and much the most intelligent sense
of the two。 If Oscar was not； as I have said； the uppermost feeling with
me； shall I tell you what I should have infinitely preferred to
recovering my sightsupposing it could have been done？〃 She shook her
head with a comic resignation to circumstances。 〃Unfortunately； it can't
be done！〃
〃What can't be done？〃
She suddenly held out both her arms over the breakfast…table。
〃The stretching out of _these_ to an enormous and unheard…of length。 That
is what I should have liked！〃 she answered。 〃I could find out better what
was going on at a distance with my hands； than you could with your eyes
and your telescopes。 What doubts I might set at rest for instance about
the planetary system； among the people who can see； if I could only
stretch out far enough to touch the stars。〃
〃This is talking sheer nonsense； Lucilla！〃
〃Is it？ Just tell me which knows best in the darkmy touch or your eyes？
Who has got a sense that she can always trust to serve her equally well
through the whole four…and…twenty hours？ You or me？ But for Oscarto
speak in sober earnest； this timeI tell you I would much rather perfect
the sense in me that I have already got； than have a sense given to me
that I have _not_ got。 Until I knew Oscar； I don't think I ever honestly
envied any of you the use of your eyes。〃
〃You astonish me； Lucilla！〃
She rattled her teaspoon impatiently in her empty cup。
〃Can you always trust your eyes； even in broad daylight？〃 she burst out。
〃How often do they deceive you； in the simplest things？ What did I hear
you all disputing about the other day in the garden？ You were looking at
some view？〃
〃Yesat the view down the alley of trees at the other end of the
churchyard wall。〃
〃Some object in the alley had attracted general noticehad it not？〃
〃Yesan object at the further end of it。〃
〃I heard you up here。 You all differed in opinion； in spite of your
wonderful eyes。 My father said it moved。 You said it stood still。 Oscar
said it was a man。 Mrs。 Finch said it was a calf。 Nugent ran off； and
examined this amazing object at close quarters。 And what did it turn out
to be？ A stump of an old tree blown across the road in the night！ Why am
I to envy people the possession of a sense which plays them such tricks
as that？ No！ no！ Herr Grosse is going to 'cut into my cataracts；' as he
calls itbecause I am going to be married to a man I love； and I fancy；
like a fool； I may love him better still； if I can see him。 I may be
quite wrong；〃 she added archly。 〃It may end in my not loving him half as
well as I do now！〃
I thought of Oscar's face； and felt a sickening fear that she might be
speaking far more seriously than she suspected。 I tried to change the
subject。 No！ Her imaginative nature had found its way into a new region
of speculation before I could open my lips。
〃I associate light；〃 she said thoughtfully； 〃with all that is beautiful
and heavenlyand dark with all that is vile and horrible and devilish。 I
wonder how light and dark will look to me when I see？〃
〃I believe they will astonish you；〃 I answered； 〃by being entirely unlike
what you fancy them to be now。〃
She started。 I had alarmed her without intending it。
〃Will Oscar's face be utterly unlike what I fancy it to be now？〃 she
asked； in suddenly altered tones。 〃Do you mean to say that I have not had
the right image of him in my mind all this time？〃
I tried again to draw her off to another topic。 What more could I
dowith my tongue tied by the German's warning to us not to agitate her；
in the face of the operation to be performed on the next day？
It was quite useless。 She went on； as before； without heeding me。
〃Have I no means of judging rightly what Oscar is like？〃 she said。 〃I
touch my own face； I know how long it is and how broad it is； I know how
big the different features are； and where they are。 And then I touch
Oscar； and compare his face with my knowledge of my own face。 Not a
single detail escapes me。 I see him in my mind as plainly as you see me
across this table。 Do you mean to say； when I see him with my eyes； that
I shall discover something perfectly new to me？ I don't believe it！〃 She
started up impatiently； and took a turn in the room。 〃Oh！〃 she exclaimed；
with a stamp of her foot； 〃why can't I take laudanum enough； or
chloroform enough to kill me for the next six weeksand then come to
life again when the German takes the bandage off my eyes！〃 She sat down
once more； and drifted all on a sudden into a question of pure morality。
〃Tell me this；〃 she said。 〃Is the greatest virtue； the virtue which it is
most difficult to practice？〃
〃I suppose so；〃 I answered。
She drummed with both hands on the table； petulantly； viciously； as hard
as she could。
〃Then； Madame Pratolungo；〃 she said； 〃the greatest of all the virtues
isPatience。 Oh； my friend； how I hate the greatest of all the virtues
at this moment！〃
That ended itthere the conversation found its way into other topics at
last。
Thinking afterwards of the new side of her mind which Lucilla had shown
to me； I derived one consolation from what had passed at the
breakfast…table。 If Mr。 Sebright proved to be right； and if the operation
failed after all； I had Lucilla's word for it that blindness； of itself；
is not the terrible affliction to the blind which the rest of us fancy it
to bebecause we can see。
Towards half…past seven in the evening； I went out alone； as I had
planned； to meet Oscar on his return from London。
At a long straight stretch of the road； I saw him advancing towards me。
He was walking more rapidly than usual； and singing as he walked。 Even
through its livid discoloration； the poor fellow's face looked radiant
with happiness as he came nearer。 He waved his walking…stick exultingly
in the air。 〃Good news！〃 he called out at the top of his voice。 〃Mr。
Sebright has made me a happy man again！〃 I had never before seen him so
like Nugent in manner； as I now saw him when we met and he shook hands
with me。
〃Tell me all about it；〃 I said。
He gave me his arm； and； talking all the way； we walked back slowly to
Dimchurch。
〃In the first place；〃 he began； 〃Mr。 Sebright holds to his own opinion
more firmly than ever。 He feels absolutely certain that the operation
will fail。〃
〃Is that your good news？〃 I asked reproachfully。
〃No；〃 he said。 〃Though； mind； I own to my shame there was a time when I
almost hoped it would fail。 Mr。 Sebright has put me in a better frame of
mind。 I have little or nothing to dread from the success of the
operationif； by any extraordinary chance； it should succeed。 I remind
you of Mr。 Sebright's opinion merely to give you a right idea of the tone
which he took with me at starting。 He only consented under protest to
contemplate the event which Lucilla and Herr Grosse consider to be a
certainty。 'If the statement of your position requires it；' he said； 'I
will admit that it is barely possible she may be able to see you two
months hence。 Now begin。' I began by informing him of my marriage
engagement。〃
〃Shall I tell you how Mr。 Sebright received the information？〃 I said。 〃He
held his tongue； and made you a bow。〃
Oscar laughed。
〃Quite true！〃 he answered。 〃I told him next of Lucilla's extraordinary
antipathy to dark people； and dark shades of color of all kinds。 Can you
guess what he said to me when I had done？〃
I owned that my observation of Mr。 Sebright's character did not extend to
guessing that。
〃He said it was a common antipathy in his experience of the blind。 It was
one among the many strange influences exercised by blindness on the mind。
'The physical affliction has its mysterious moral influence；' he said。
'We can observe it； but we can't explain it。 The special antipathy which
you mention； is an incurable antipathy； except on one conditionthe
recovery of the sight。' There he stopped。 I entreated him to go on。 No！
He declined to go on until I had finished what I had to say to him first。
I had my confession still to make to himand I made it。〃
〃You concealed nothing？〃
〃Nothing。 I laid my weakness bare before him。 I told him that Lucilla was
still firmly convinced that Nugent's was the discolored face； instead of
mine。