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That's born into the world alive
Is either a little Liberal
Or else a little Conservative！
Fal lal la！
（Enter Fairies； with Celia； Leila； and Fleta。 They trip round
stage。）
CHORUS OF FAIRIES。
Strephon's a Member of Parliament！
Carries every Bill he chooses。
To his measures all assent
Showing that fairies have their uses。
Whigs and Tories
Dim their glories；
Giving an ear to all his stories
Lords and Commons are both in the blues！
Strephon makes them shake in their shoes！
Shake in their shoes！
Shake in their shoes！
Strephon makes them shake in their shoes！
（Enter Peers from Westminster Hall。）
CHORUS OF PEERS。
Strephon's a Member of Parliament！
Running a…muck of all abuses。
His unqualified assent
Somehow nobody now refuses。
Whigs and Tories
Dim their glories；
Giving an ear to all his stories
Carrying every Bill he may wish：
Here's a pretty kettle of fish！
Kettle of fish！
Kettle of fish！
Here's a pretty kettle of fish！
（Enter Lord Mountararat and Lord Tolloller from Westminster Hall。）
CELIA。 You seem annoyed。
LORD MOUNT。 Annoyed！ I should think so！ Why； this
ridiculous protege of yours is playing the deuce with everything！
To…night is the second reading of his Bill to throw the Peerage
open to Competitive Examination！
LORD TOLL。 And he'll carry it； too！
LORD MOUNT。 Carry it？ Of course he will！ He's a
Parliamentary Pickfordhe carries everything！
LEILA。 Yes。 If you please； that's our fault！
LORD MOUNT。 The deuce it is！
CELIA。 Yes； we influence the members； and compel them to vote
just as he wishes them to。
LEILA。 It's our system。 It shortens the debates。
LORD TOLL。 Well； but think what it all means。 I don't so
much mind for myself； but with a House of Peers with no
grandfathers worth mentioning； the country must go to the dogs！
LEILA。 I suppose it must！
LORD MOUNT。 I don't want to say a word against brainsI've
a great respect for brainsI often wish I had some myselfbut
with a House of Peers composed exclusively of people of intellect；
what's to become of the House of Commons？
LEILA。 I never thought of that！
LORD MOUNT。 This comes of women interfering in politics。 It
so happens that if there is an institution in Great Britain which
is not susceptible of any improvement at all； it is the House of
Peers！
SONGLORD MOUNTARARAT。
When Britain really ruled the waves
（In good Queen Bess's time）
The House of Peers made no pretence
To intellectual eminence；
Or scholarship sublime；
Yet Britain won her proudest bays
In good Queen Bess's glorious days！
CHORUS。 Yes； Britain won； etc。
When Wellington thrashed Bonaparte；
As every child can tell；
The House of Peers； throughout the war；
Did nothing in particular；
And did it very well：
Yet Britain set the world ablaze
In good King George's glorious days！
CHORUS。 Yes； Britain set； etc。
And while the House of Peers withholds
Its legislative hand；
And noble statesmen do not itch
To interfere with matters which
They do not understand；
As bright will shine Great Britain's rays
As in King George's glorious days！
CHORUS。 As bright will shine； etc。
LEILA。 （who has been much attracted by the Peers during this
song）。 Charming persons； are they not？
CELIA。 Distinctly。 For self…contained dignity； combined with
airy condescension； give me a British Representative Peer！
LORD TOLL。 Then pray stop this protege of yours before it's
too late。 Think of the mischief you're doing！
LEILA （crying）。 But we can't stop him now。 （Aside to Celia。）
Aren't they lovely！ （Aloud。） Oh； why did you go and defy us； you
great geese！
DUETLEILA and CELIA。
LEILA。 In vain to us you plead
Don't go！
Your prayers we do not heed
Don't go！
It's true we sigh；
But don't suppose
A tearful eye
Forgiveness shows。
Oh； no！
We're very cross indeed
Yes； very cross；
Don't go！
FAIRIES。 It's true we sigh； etc。
CELIA。 Your disrespectful sneers
Don't go！
Call forth indignant tears
Don't go！
You break our laws
You are our foe：
We cry because
We hate you so！
You know！
You very wicked Peers！
You wicked Peers！
Don't go！
FAIRIES。 LORDS MOUNT。 and TOLL。
You break our laws Our disrespectful sneers；
You are our foe： Ha； ha！
We cry because Call forth indignant tears；
We hate you so！ Ha； ha！
You know！ If that's the case； my dears
You very wicked Peers！ FAIRIES。 Don't go！
Don't go！ PEERS。 We'll go！
（Exeunt Lord Mountararat； Lord Tolloller； and Peers。 Fairies gaze
wistfully after them。）
（Enter Fairy Queen。）
QUEEN。 Oh； shameshame upon you！ Is this your fidelity to
the laws you are bound to obey？ Know ye not that it is death to
marry a mortal？
LEILA。 Yes； but it's not death to wish to marry a mortal！
FLETA。 If it were； you'd have to execute us all！
QUEEN。 Oh； this is weakness！ Subdue it！
CELIA。 We know it's weakness； but the weakness is so strong！
LEILA。 We are not all as tough as you are！
QUEEN。 Tough！ Do you suppose that I am insensible to the
effect of manly beauty？ Look at that man！ （Referring to Sentry。）
A perfect picture！ （To Sentry。） Who are you； sir？
WILLIS （coming to 〃attention〃）。 Private Willis； B Company；
1st Grenadier Guards。
QUEEN。 You're a very fine fellow； sir。
WILLIS。 I am generally admired。
QUEEN。 I can quite understand it。 （To Fairies。） Now here is
a man whose physical attributes are simply godlike。 That man has
a most extraordinary effect upon me。 If I yielded to a natural
impulse； I should fall down and worship that man。 But I mortify
this inclination； I wrestle with it； and it lies beneath my feet！
That is how I treat my regard for that man！
SONGFAIRY QUEEN。
Oh； foolish fay；
Think you； because
His brave array
My bosom thaws；
I'd disobey
Our fairy laws？
Because I fly
In realms above；
In tendency
To fall in love；
Resemble I
The amorous dove？
（Aside。） Oh； amorous dove！
Type of Ovidius Naso！
This heart of mine
Is soft as thine；
Although I dare not say so！
CHORUS。 Oh； amorous dove； etc。
On fire that glows
With heat intense
I turn the hose
Of common sense；
And out it goes
At small expense！
We must maintain
Our fairy law；
That is the main
On which to draw
In that we gain
A Captain Shaw！
（Aside。） Oh； Captain Shaw！
Type of true love kept under！
Could thy Brigade
With