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Let us stay； madam； Go away； madam；
I should say； madam； I should say； madam；
They display； madam； You display； madam；
Shocking taste。 Shocking taste。
It is rude； madam； It is rude； madam；
To allude； madam； To intrude； madam；
To your brood； madam； With your brood； madam；
Brazen…faced！ Brazen…faced！
We don't fear； madam； You come here； madam；
Any peer； madam； Interfere； madam；
Though； my dear madam； With a peer； madam；
This is one。 （I am one。）
They will stare； madam； You're aware； madam；
When aware； madam； What you dare； madam；
What they dare； madam So take care； madam；
What they've done！ And begone！
QUEEN。 Bearded by these puny mortals！
（furious）。 I will launch from fairy portals
All the most terrific thunders
In my armoury of wonders！
PHYL。 （aside）。 Should they launch terrific wonders；
All would then repent their blunders。
Surely these must be immortals。
（Exit
Phyllis。）
QUEEN。 Oh！ Chancellor unwary
It's highly necessary
Your tongue to teach
Respectful speech
Your attitude to vary！
Your badinage so airy；
Your manner arbitrary；
Are out of place
When face to face
With an influential Fairy。
ALL THE PEERS We never knew
（aside）。 We were talking to
An influential Fairy！
LORD CH。 A plague on this vagary；
I'm in a nice quandary！
Of hasty tone
With dames unknown
I ought to be more chary；
It seems that she's a fairy
From Andersen's library；
And I took her for
The proprietor
Of a Ladies' Seminary！
PEERS。 We took her for
The proprietor
Of a Ladies' Seminary！
QUEEN。 When next your Houses do assemble；
You may tremble！
CELIA。 Our wrath； when gentlemen offend us；
Is tremendous！
LEILA。 They meet； who underrate our calling；
Doom appalling！
QUEEN。 Take down our sentence as we speak it；
And he shall wreak it！
（Indicating
Strephon。）
PEERS。 Oh； spare us！
QUEEN。 Henceforth； Strephon； cast away
Crooks and pipes and ribbons so gay
Flocks and herds that bleat and low；
Into Parliament you shall go！
ALL。 Into Parliament he shall go！
Backed by our supreme authority；
He'll command a large majority！
Into Parliament he shall go！
QUEEN。 In the Parliamentary hive；
Liberal or Conservative
Whig or ToryI don't know
But into Parliament you shall go！
ALL。 Into Parliament； etc。
QUEEN （speaking through music）。
Every bill and every measure
That may gratify his pleasure；
Though your fury it arouses；
Shall be passed by both your Houses！
PEERS。 Oh！
QUEEN。 You shall sit； if he sees reason；
Through the grouse and salmon season；
PEERS。 No！
QUEEN。 He shall end the cherished rights
You enjoy on Friday nights：
PEERS。 No！
QUEEN。 He shall prick that annual blister；
Marriage with deceased wife's sister：
PEERS。 Mercy！
QUEEN。 Titles shall ennoble； then；
All the Common Councilmen：
PEERS。 Spare us！
QUEEN。 Peers shall teem in Christendom；
And a Duke's exalted station
Be attainable by Com…
Petitive Examination！
PEERS。 FAIRIES and PHYLLIS。
Oh； horror！ Their horror
They can't dissemble
Nor hide the fear that makes them
tremble！
ENSEMBLE。
PEERS FAIRIES； PHYLLIS； and STREPHON。
Young Strephon is the kind of lout With Strephon for your foe； no
doubt；
We do not care a fig about！ A fearful prospect opens out；
We cannot say And who shall say
What evils may What evils may
Result in consequence。 Result in consequence？
But lordly vengeance will pursue A hideous vengeance will pursue
All kinds of common people who All noblemen who venture to
Oppose our views； Opppose his views；
Or boldly choose Or boldly choose
To offer us offence。 To offer him offence。
He'd better fly at humbler game； 'Twill plunge them into grief
and shame；
Or our forbearance he must claim； His kind forbearance they must
claim；
If he'd escape If they'd escape
In any shape In any shape
A very painful wrench！ A very painful wrench。
Your powers we dauntlessly pooh…pooh： Although our threats you
now pooh…pooh；
A dire revenge will fall on you。 A dire revenge will fall on you；
If you besiege Should he besiege
Our high prestige Your high prestige
（The word 〃prestige〃 is French）。 The word 〃prestige〃 is French）。
PEERS。 Our lordly style
You shall not quench
With base canaille！
FAIRIES。 （That word is French。）
PEERS。 Distinction ebbs
Before a herd
Of vulgar plebs！
FAIRIES。 （A Latin word。）
PEERS。 'Twould fill with joy；
And madness stark
The hoi polloi！
FAIRIES。 （A Greek remark。）
PEERS。 One Latin word； one Greek remark；
And one that's French。
FAIRIES。 Your lordly style
We'll quickly quench
With base canaille！
PEERS。 （That word is French。）
FAIRIES。 Distinction ebbs
Before a herd
Of vulgar plebs！
PEERS。 （A Latin word。）
FAIRIES。 'Twill fill with joy
And madness stark
The hoi polloi！
PEERS。 （A Greek remark。）
FAIRIES。 One Latin word； one Greek remark；
And one that's French。
PEERS。 FAIRIES。
You needn't wait： We will not wait：
Away you fly！ We go sky…high！
Your threatened hate Our threatened hate
We won't defy！ You won't defy！
（Fairies threaten Peers with their wands。 Peers kneel as begging
for merry。 Phyllis implores Strephon to relent。 He casts her from
him； and she falls fainting into the arms of Lord Mountararat and
Lord Tolloller。）
END OF ACT I
ACT II
Scene。Palace Yard； Westminster。 Westminster Hall； L。 Clock
tower up； R。C。 Private Willis discovered on sentry； R。 Moonlight。
SONGPRIVATE WILLIS。
When all night long a chap remains
On sentry…go； to chase monotony
He exercises of his brains；
That is； assuming that he's got any。
Though never nurtured in the lap
Of luxury； yet I admonish you；
I am an intellectual chap；
And think of things that would astonish you。
I often think it's comicalFal； lal； la！
How Nature always does contriveFal； lal； la！
That every boy and every gal
That's born into the world alive
Is either a little Liberal
Or else a little Conservative！
Fal； lal； la！
When in that House M。P。's divide；
If they've a brain and cerebellum； too；
They've got to leave that brain outside；
And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to。
But then the prospect of a lot
Of dull M。 P。's in close proximity；
All thinking for themselves； is what
No man can face with equanimity。
Then let's rejoice with loud Fal laFal la la！
That Nature always does contriveFal lal la！
That every boy and every gal
That's born into the world alive
Is either a little Liberal