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（Gong。 The curtains fly back and the Court are discovered。 They
give a wild yell and rush on to the stage dancing wildly；
with PRINCE； PRINCESS； and Nobles； who are taken by
surprise
at first； but eventually join in a reckless dance。 At the
end all fall down exhausted。）
LUD。 There； what do you think of that？ That's our
official
ceremonial for the reception of visitors of the very highest
distinction。
PRINCE （puzzled）。 It's very quaintvery curious indeed。
Prettily footed； too。 Prettily footed。
LUD。 Would you like to see how we say 〃good…bye〃 to
visitors of distinction？ That ceremony is also performed with
the foot。
PRINCE。 Really； this toneah； but perhaps you have not
completely grasped the situation？
LUD。 Not altogether。
PRINCE。 Ah； then I'll give you a lead over。
（Significantly：） I am the father of the Princess of Monte Carlo。
Doesn't that convey any idea to the Grand Ducal mind？
LUD。 （stolidly）。 Nothing definite。
PRINCE （aside）。 H'mvery odd！ Never mindtry again！
（Aloud。） This is the daughter of the Prince of Monte Carlo。 Do
you take？
LUD。 （still puzzled）。 Nonot yet。 Go ondon't give it
upI dare say it will come presently。
PRINCE。 Very oddnever mindtry again。 （With sly
significance。） Twenty years ago！ Little doddle doddle！ Two
little doddle doddles！ Happy fatherhers and yours。 Proud
motheryours and hers！ Hah！ Now you take？ I see you do！ I
see you do！
LUD。 Nothing is more annoying than to feel that you're not
equal to the intellectual pressure of the conversation。 I wish
he'd say something intelligible。
PRINCE。 You didn't expect me？
LUD。 （jumping at it）。 No； no。 I grasp thatthank you
very
much。 （Shaking hands with him。） No； I did not expect you！
PRINCE。 I thought not。 But ha！ ha！ at last I have escaped
from my enforced restraint。 （General movement of alarm。） （To
crowd who are stealing off。） No； noyou misunderstand me。 I
mean I've paid my debts！
ALL。 Oh！ （They return。）
PRINCESS （affectionately）。 But； my darling； I'm afraid
that
even now you don't quite realize who I am！ （Embracing him。）
BARONESS。 Why； you forward little hussy； how dare you？
（Takes her away from LUDWIG。）
LUD。 You mustn't do that； my dearnever in the presence
of
the Grand Duchess； I beg！
PRINCESS （weeping）。 Oh； papa； he's got a Grand Duchess！
LUD。 A Grand Duchess！ My good girl； I've got three Grand
Duchesses！
PRINCESS。 Well； I'm sure！ Papa； let's go awaythis is
not
a respectable Court。
PRINCE。 All these Grand Dukes have their little fancies；
my
love。 This potentate appears to be collecting wives。 It's a
pretty hobbyI should like to collect a few myself。 This
（admiring BARONESS） is a charming specimenan antique； I should
sayof the early Merovingian period； if I'm not mistaken； and
here's anothera Scotch lady； I think （alluding to JULIA）； and
（alluding to LISA） a little one thrown in。 Two half…quarterns
and a makeweight！ （To LUDWIG。） Have you such a thing as a
catalogue of the Museum？
PRINCESS。 But I cannot permit Rudolph to keep a museum
LUD。 Rudolph？ Get along with you； I'm not Rudolph！
Rudolph died yesterday！
PRINCE and PRINCESS。 What！
LUD。 Quite suddenlyofofa cardiac affection。
PRINCE and PRINCESS。 Of a cardiac affection！
LUD。 Yes； a pack…of…cardiac affection。 He fought a
Statutory Duel with me and lost； and I took over all his
engagementsincluding this imperfectly preserved old lady； to
whom he has been engaged for the last three weeks。
PRINCESS。 Three weeks！ But I've been engaged to him for
the last twenty years！
BARONESS； LISA； and JULIA。 Twenty years！
PRINCE （aside）。 It's all right； my lovethey can't get
over that。 （Aloud。） He's yourstake him； and hold him as tight
as you can！
PRINCESS。 My own！ （Embracing LUDWIG。）
LUD。 Here's another！the fourth in four…and…twenty hours！
Would anybody else like to marry me？ You； ma'amor
youanybody！ I'm getting used to it！
BARONESS。 But let me tell you； ma'am
JULIA。 Why； you impudent little hussy
LISA。 Oh； here's anotherhere's another！ （Weeping。）
PRINCESS。 Poor ladies； I'm very sorry for you all； but；
you
see； I've a prior claim。 Come； away we gothere's not a moment
to be lost！
CHORUS （as they dance towards exit）。
Away to the wedding we'll go
To summon the charioteers；
No kind of reluctance we show
To embark on our married careers
（At this moment RUDOLPH； ERNEST； and NOTARY appear。
All kneel in astonishment。）
RECITATIVE。
RUD。； Ern。； and NOT。
Forbear！ This may not be！
Frustrated are your plans！
With paramount decree
The Law forbids the banns！
ALL。 The Law forbids the banns！
LUD。 Not a bit of it！ I've revived the law for another
century！
RUD。 You didn't revive it！ You couldn't revive it！
Youyou are an impostor； sira tuppenny rogue； sir！ Youyou
never were； and in all human probability never will beGrand
Duke of Pfennig Anything！
ALL。 What！！！
RUD。 Nevernever； never！ （Aside。） Oh； my internal
economy！
LUD。 That's absurd； you know。 I fought the Grand Duke。
He
drew a King； and I drew an Ace。 He perished in inconceivable
agonies on the spot。 Now； as that's settled； we'll go on with
the wedding。
RUD。 Itit isn't settled。 Youyou can't。 II（to
NOTARY）。 Oh； tell himtell him！ I can't！
NOT。 Well； the fact is； there's been a little mistake
here。
On reference to the Act that regulates Statutory Duels； I find it
is expressly laid down that the Ace shall count invariably as
lowest！
ALL。 As lowest！
RUD。 （breathlessly）。 As lowestlowestlowest！ So
you're
the ghoestghoestghoest！ （Aside。） Oh； what is the matter
with me inside here！
ERN。 Well； Julia； as it seems that the law hasn't been
revivedand as； consequently； I shall come to life in about
three minutes（consulting his watch）
JULIA。 My objection falls to the ground。 （Resignedly。）
Very well！
PRINCESS。 And am I to understand that I was on the point
of
marrying a dead man without knowing it？ （To RUDOLPH； who
revives。） Oh； my love； what a narrow escape I've had！
RUD。 Ohyou are the Princess of Monte Carlo； and you've
turned up just in time！ Well； you're an attractive little girl；
you know； but you're as poor as a rat！ （They retire up
together。）
LISA。 That's all very well； but what is to become of me？
（To LUDWIG。） If you're a dead man（Clock strikes three。）
LUD。 But I'm not。 Time's upthe Act has expiredI've
come
to lifethe parson is still in attendance； and we'll all be
married directly。
ALL。 Hurrah！
FINALE。
Happy couples； lightly treading；
Castle chapel will be quite full！
Each shall have a pretty wedding；
As； of course； is only rightful；
Though the brides be fair or frightful。
Contradiction little dreading；
This will be a day delightful
Each shall have a pretty wedding！
Such a pretty； pretty wedding！
Such a pretty wedding！
（All dance off to get married as the curtain falls。）
THE END
H。M。S。 PINAFORE
OR； THE LASS THAT LOVED A SAILOR
Libretto by William S。 Gilbert
Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
THE RT。HON SIR JOSEPH PORTER； K。C。B。 （First Lord of the
Admiralty）。
CAPTAIN CORCORAN （Commanding H。M。S。 Pinafore）。
TOM TUCKER （Midshipmite）。
RALPH RAKESTRAW （Able Seaman）。
DICK DEADEYE （Able Seaman）。
BILL BOBSTAY （Boatswain's Mate）。
BOB BECKET （Carpenter's Mate）。
JOSEPHINE （the Captain's Daughter）。
HEBE （Sir Joseph Porter's First Cousin）。
MRS。 CRIPPS （LITTLE BUTTERCUP） （A Portsmouth Bumboat Woman）。
First Lord's Sisters； his Cousins； his Aunts； Sailors；
Marines； etc。
Scene： QUARTER…DECK OF H。M。S。 PINAFORE； OFF PORTSMOUTH
ACT I。Noon。 ACT II。Night
First produced at the Opera Comique on May 25； 1878。
ACT I
SCENEQuarter…deck of H。M。S。 Pinafore。 Sailors； led by
BOATSWAIN；
discovered cleaning brasswork； splicing rope； etc。
CHORUS
We sail the ocean blue；
And our saucy ship's a beauty