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Must have a dress
Original and novel！
LUD。 Old Athens we'll exhume！
The necessary dresses；
Correct and true
And all brand…new；
The company possesses：
Henceforth our Court costume
Shall live in song and story；
For we'll upraise
The dead old days
Of Athens in her glory！
ALL。 Yes； let's upraise
The dead old days
Of Athens in her glory！
ALL。 Agreed！ Agreed！
For this will be a jolly Court for little and for big！ etc
（They carry LUDWIG round stage and deposit him on the ironwork of
well。 JULIA stands by him； and the rest group round them。）
END OF ACT I。
ACT II。
（THE NEXT MORNING。）
SCENE。Entrance Hall of the Grand Ducal Palace。
Enter a procession of the members of the theatrical company （now
dressed in the costumes of Troilus and Cressida）； carrying
garlands； playing on pipes； citharae； and cymbals； and
heralding the return of LUDWIG and JULIA from the marriage
ceremony； which has just taken place。
CHORUS。
As before you we defile；
Eloia！ Eloia！
Pray you； gentles； do not smile
If we shout； in classic style；
Eloia！
Ludwig and his Julia true
Wedded are each other to
So we sing； till all is blue；
Eloia！ Eloia！
Opoponax！ Eloia！
Wreaths of bay and ivy twine；
Eloia！ Eloia！
Fill the bowl with Lesbian wine；
And to revelry incline
Eloia！
For as gaily we pass on
Probably we shall； anon；
Sing a Diergeticon
Eloia！ Eloia！
Opoponax！ Eloia！
RECIT。LUDWIG。
Your loyalty our Ducal heartstrings touches：
Allow me to present your new Grand Duchess。
Should she offend； you'll graciously excuse her
And kindly recollect I didn't choose her！
SONGLUDWIG。
At the outset I may mention it's my sovereign intention
To revive the classic memories of Athens at its best；
For the company possesses all the necessary dresses
And a course of quiet cramming will supply us with the
rest。
We've a choir hyporchematic （that is； ballet…operatic）
Who respond to the choreut of that cultivated age；
And our clever chorus…master； all but captious criticaster
Would accept as the choregus of the early Attic stage。
This return to classic ages is considered in their wages；
Which are always calculated by the day or by the week
And I'll pay 'em （if they'll back me） all in oboloi and drachm；
Which they'll get （if they prefer it） at the Kalends that
are Greek！
（Confidentially to audience。）
At this juncture I may mention
That this erudition sham
Is but classical pretension；
The result of steady 〃cram。〃：
Periphrastic methods spurning；
To this audience discerning
I admit this show of learning
Is the fruit of steady 〃cram。〃！
CHORUS。 Periphrastic methods； etc。
In the period Socratic every dining…room was Attic
（Which suggests an architecture of a topsy…turvy kind）；
There they'd satisfy their thirst on a recherche cold ｛Greek
word｝
Which is what they called their lunchand so may you if
you're inclined。
As they gradually got on； they'd ｛four Greek words）
（Which is Attic for a steady and a conscientious drink）。
But they mixed their wine with waterwhich I'm sure they didn't
oughter
And we modern Saxons know a trick worth two of that； I
think！
Then came rather risky dances （under certain circumstances）
Which would shock that worthy gentleman； the Licenser of
Plays；
Corybantian maniac kickDionysiac or Bacchic
And the Dithyrambic revels of those undecorous days。
（Confidentially to audience。）
And perhaps I'd better mention；
Lest alarming you I am；
That it isn't our intention
To perform a Dithyramb
It displays a lot of stocking；
Which is always very shocking；
And of course I'm only mocking
At the prevalence of 〃cram〃！
CHORUS。 It displays a lot； etc。
Yes； on reconsideration； there are customs of that nation
Which are not in strict accordance with the habits of our
day；
And when I come to codify； their rules I mean to modify；
Or Mrs。 Grundy； p'r'aps； may have a word or two to say。
For they hadn't macintoshes or umbrellas or goloshes
And a shower with their dresses must have played the very
deuce；
And it must have been unpleasing when they caught a fit of
sneezing；
For； it seems； of pocket…handkerchiefs they didn't know the
use。
They wore little underclothingscarcely anythingor nothing
And their dress of Coan silk was quite transparent in
design
Well； in fact； in summer weather； something like the 〃altogether〃
And it's there； I rather fancy； I shall have to draw the
line！
（Confidentially to audience。）
And again I wish to mention
That this erudition sham
Is but classical pretension；
The result of steady 〃cram。〃
Yet my classic lore aggressive
（If you'll pardon the possessive）
Is exceedingly impressive
When you're passing an exam。
CHORUS。 Yet his classic lore； etc。
＇Exeunt Chorus。 Manent LUDWIG； JULIA； and LISA。
LUD。 （recit。）。
Yes； Ludwig and his Julia are mated！
For when an obscure comedian； whom the law backs；
To sovereign rank is promptly elevated；
He takes it with its incidental drawbacks！
So Julia and I are duly mated！
（LISA； through this； has expressed intense distress at
having to surrender LUDWIG。）
SONGLISA。
Take care of himhe's much too good to live；
With him you must be very gentle：
Poor fellow； he's so highly sensitive；
And O； so sentimental！
Be sure you never let him sit up late
In chilly open air conversing
Poor darling； he's extremely delicate；
And wants a deal of nursing！
LUD。 I want a deal of nursing！
LISA。 And O； remember this
When he is cross with pain；
A flower and a kiss
A simple flowera tender kiss
Will bring him round again！
His moods you must assiduously watch：
When he succumbs to sorrow tragic；
Some hardbake or a bit of butter…scotch
Will work on him like magic。
To contradict a character so rich
In trusting love were simple blindness
He's one of those exalted natures which
Will only yield to kindness！
LUD。 I only yield to kindness！
LISA。 And O； the bygone bliss！
And O； the present pain！
That flower and that kiss
That simple flowerthat tender kiss
I ne'er shall give again！
＇Exit；
weeping。
JULIA。 And now that everybody has gone； and we're happily
and comfortably married； I want to have a few words with my
new…born husband。
LUD。 （aside）。 Yes； I expect you'll often have a few words
with your new…born husband！ （Aloud。） Well； what is it？
JULIA。 Why； I've been thinking that as you and I have to
play our parts for life； it is most essential that we should come
to a definite understanding as to how they shall be rendered。
Now； I've been considering how I can make the most of the Grand
Duchess。
LUD。 Have you？ Well； if you'll take my advice； you'll
make
a very fine part of it。
JULIA。 Why； that's quite my idea。
LUD。 I shouldn't make it one of your hoity…toity vixenish
viragoes。
JULIA。 You think not？
LUD。 Oh； I'm quite clear about that。 I should make her a
tender； gentle； submissive； affectionate （but not too
affectionate） child…wifetimidly anxious to coil herself into
her husband's heart； but kept in check by an awestruck reverence
for his exalted intellectual qualities and his majestic per