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secret； and pretended that I was his dearly loving
sister； and done everything I could think of to make
folk believe I was his loving sister； and this is his
gratitude！ Before I pretend to be sister to anybody
again； I'll turn nun； and be sister to everybody one
as much as another！
＇Enter WILFRED
WILFRED In tears； eh？ What a plague art thou grizzling for
now？
PHOEBE Why am I grizzling？ Thou hast often wept for jealousy
well； 'tis for jealousy I weep now。 Aye； yellow；
bilious； jaundiced jealousy。 So make the most of that；
Master Wilfred。
WILFRED But I have never given thee cause for jealousy。 The
Lieutenant's cook…maid and I are but the merest
gossips！
PHOEBE Jealous of thee！ Bah！ I'm jealous of no craven cock…
on…a…hill； who crows about what he'd do an he dared！
I am jealous of another and a better man than thou
set that down； Master Wilfred。 And he is to marry
Elsie Maynard； the pale little fool set that down
Master Wilfred and my heart is wellnigh broken！
There； thou hast it all！ Make the most of it！
WILFRED The man thou lovest is to marry Elsie Maynard？ Why；
that is no other than thy brother； Leonard Meryll！
PHOEBE ＇aside＇ Oh； mercy！ what have I said？
WILFRED Why； what matter of brother is this； thou lying little
jade？ Speak！ Who is this man whom thou hast called
brother； and fondled； and coddled； and kissed！ with
my connivance； too！ Oh Lord！ with my connivance！ Ha！
should it be this Fairfax！ ＇PHOEBE starts＇ It is！ It
is this accursed Fairfax！ It's Fairfax！ Fairfax； who
PHOEBE Whom thou hast just shot through the head； and who
lies at the bottom of the river！
WILFRED A I I may have been mistaken。 We are but fallible
mortals； the best of us。 But I'll make sure I'll make
sure。 ＇Going＇
PHOEBE Stay one word。 I think it cannot be Fairfax mind； I
say I think because thou hast just slain Fairfax。 But
whether he be Fairfax or no Fairfax； he is to marry
Elsie and and as thou hast shot him through the
head； and he is dead； be content with that； and I will
be thy wife！
WILFRED Is that sure？
PHOEBE Aye； sure enough； for there's no help for it！ Thou art
a very brute but even brutes must marry； I suppose。
WILFRED My beloved。 ＇Embraces her＇
PHOEBE ＇aside＇ Ugh！
＇Enter LEONARD MERYLL； hastily
LEONARD Phoebe； rejoice； for I bring glad tidings。 Colonel
Fairfax's reprieve was signed two days since； but it
was foully and maliciously kept back by Secretary
Poltwhistle； who designed that it should arrive after
the Colonel's death。 It hath just come to hand； and it
is now in the Lieutenant's possession！
PHOEBE Then the Colonel is free？ Oh； kiss me； kiss me； my
dear！ Kiss me； again； and again！
WILFRED ＇dancing with fury＇ Ods bobs； death o' my life！ Art
thou mad？ Am I mad？ Are we all mad？
PHOEBE Oh； my dear my dear； I'm well nigh crazed with joy！
＇Kissing LEONARD＇
WILFRED Come away from him； thou hussy thou jade thou
kissing； clinging cockatrice！ And as for thee； sir；
devil take thee； I'll rip thee like a herring for
this！ I'll skin thee for it！ I'll cleave thee to the
chine！ I'll oh！ Phoebe！ Phoebe！ Who is this man？
PHOEBE Peace； fool。 He is my brother！
WILFRED Another brother！ Are there any more of them？ Produce
them all at once； and let me know the worst！
PHOEBE This is the real Leonard； dolt； the other was but his
substitute。 The real Leonard； I say my father's own
son。
WILFRED How do I know this？ Has he 〃brother〃 writ large on his
brow？ I mistrust thy brothers！ Thou art but a false
jade！
＇Exit LEONARD。
PHOEBE Now； Wilfred； be just。 Truly I did deceive thee
before but it was to save a precious life and to
save it； not for me； but for another。 They are to be
wed this very day。 Is not this enough for thee？ Come
I am thy Phoebe thy very own and we will be wed in
a year or two or three； at the most。 Is not that
enough for thee？
＇Enter SERGEANT MERYLL； excitedly； followed by DAME
CARRUTHERS； who listens； unobserved。
MERYLL Phoebe； hast thou heard the brave news？
PHOEBE ＇still in WILFRED's arms＇ Aye； father。
MERYLL I'm nigh mad with joy！ ＇Seeing WILFRED＇ Why； what's
all this？
PHOEBE Oh； father； he discovered our secret thorough my
folly； and the price of his silence is
WILFRED Phoebe's heart。
PHOEBE Oh； dear； no Phoebe's hand。
WILFRED It's the same thing！
PHOEBE Is it？
＇Exeunt WILFRED and PHOEBE。
MERYLL ＇looking after them＇ 〃Tis pity； but the Colonel had to
be saved at any cost； and as thy folly revealed our
secret； thy folly must e'en suffer for it！
＇DAME CARRUTHERS comes down＇ Dame Carruthers！
DAME So this is a plot to shield this arch…fiend； and I
have detected it。 A word from me； and three heads
besides his would roll from their shoulders！
MERYLL Nay； Colonel Fairfax is reprieved。
＇Aside＇ Yet； if my complicity in his escape were
known！ Plague on the old meddler！ There's nothing for
it
＇aloud＇ Hush； pretty one！ Such bloodthirsty words ill
become those cherry lips！
＇Aside＇ Ugh！
DAME ＇bashfully＇ Sergeant Meryll！
MERYLL Why； look ye； chuck for many a month I've I've
thought to myself 〃There's snug love saving up in
that middle…aged bosom for some one； and why not for
thee that's me so take heart and tell her that's
thee that thou that's me lovest her thee and
and well；I'm a miserable old man； and I've done it
and that's me！〃 But not a word about Fairfax！ The
price of thy silence is
DAME Meryll's heart？
MERYLL No； Meryll's hand。
DAME It's the same thing！
MERYLL Is it？
No。 21。 Rapture； rapture
（DUET）
Dame Carruthers and Sergeant Meryll
DAME Rapture； rapture
When love's votary；
Flushed with capture；
Seeks the notary；
Joy and jollity
Then is polity；
Reigns frivolity！
Rapture； rapture！
Joy and jollity
Then is polity；
Reigns frivolity！
Rapture； rapture！
MERYLL Doleful； doleful！
When humanity
With its soul full
Of satanity；
Courting privity；
Down declivity
Seeks captivity！
Doleful； doleful！
Courting privity；
Down declivity
Seeks captivity！
Doleful； doleful！
DAME Joyful； joyful！
When virginity
Seeks； all coyful；
Man's affinity；
Fate all flowery；
Bright and bowery；
Is her dowery！
Joyful； joyful！
Fate all flowery；
Bright and bowery；
Is her dowery！
Joyful； joyful！
MERYLL Ghastly； ghastly！
When man； sorrowful；
Firstly； lastly；
Of to…morrow full；
After tarrying；
Yields to harrying
Goes a…marrying。
Ghastly； ghastly！
DAME Joyful； joyful！
MERYLL Ghastly； ghastly！
DAME Joyful； joyful！
MERYLL Ghastly； ghastly！
DAME MERYLL
Joyful； joyful！ Ghastly； ghastly！
Joyful； joyful； joyful！ Ghastly； ghastly；ghastly！
Rapture； rapture Doleful； doleful！
When love's votary； When humanity
Flushed with capture； With its soul full
Seeks the nota