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〃My dear fellow； whatever could have induced you〃
〃I knowI know all that；〃 interrupted the mere boy。 〃Nature
arranges it on purpose。 Tall and solemn prigs marry little women with
turned…up noses。 Cheerful little fellows like myselfwe marry serious；
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stately women。 If it were otherwise； the human race would be split up
into species。〃
〃Of course； if you were actuated by a sense of public duty〃
〃Don't be a fool； Peter Hope；〃 returned the little man。 〃I'm in love
with my wife just as she is； and always shall be。 I know the woman
with a sense of humour； and of the two I prefer the one without。 The
Juno type is my ideal。 I must take the rough with the smooth。 One
can't have a jolly； chirpy Juno； and wouldn't care for her if one could。〃
〃Then are you going to give up all your old friends？〃
〃Don't suggest it；〃 pleaded the little man。 〃You don't know how
miserable it makes methe mere idea。 Tell them to be patient。 The
secret of dealing with women； I have found； is to do nothing rashly。〃
The clock struck five。 〃I must go now；〃 said Joey。 〃Don't misjudge
her； Peter； and don't let the others。 She's a dear girl。 You'll like her； all
of you； when you know her。 A dear girl！ She only has that one fault。〃
Joey went out。
Peter did his best that evening to explain the true position of affairs
without imputing snobbery to Mrs。 Loveredge。 It was a difficult task；
and Peter cannot be said to have accomplished it successfully。 Anger
and indignation against Joey gave place to pity。 The members of the
Autolycus Club also experienced a little irritation on their own account。
〃What does the woman take us for？〃 demanded Somerville the
Briefless。 〃Doesn't she know that we lunch with real actors and
actresses； that once a year we are invited to dine at the Mansion House？〃
〃Has she never heard of the aristocracy of genius？〃 demanded
Alexander the Poet。
〃The explanation may be that possibly she has seen it；〃 feared the
Wee Laddie。
〃One of us ought to waylay the woman；〃 argued the Babe〃insist
upon her talking to him for ten minutes。 I've half a mind to do it
myself。〃
Jack Herring said nothingseemed thoughtful。
The next morning Jack Herring； still thoughtful； called at the
editorial offices of Good Humour； in Crane Court； and borrowed Miss
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Ramsbotham's Debrett。 Three days later Jack Herring informed the
Club casually that he had dined the night before with Mr。 and Mrs。
Loveredge。 The Club gave Jack Herring politely to understand that
they regarded him as a liar； and proceeded to demand particulars。
〃If I wasn't there；〃 explained Jack Herring； with unanswerable logic；
〃how can I tell you anything about it？〃
This annoyed the Club； whose curiosity had been whetted。 Three
members； acting in the interests of the whole； solemnly undertook to
believe whatever he might tell them。 But Jack Herring's feelings had
been wounded。
〃When gentlemen cast a doubt upon another gentleman's veracity〃
〃We didn't cast a doubt；〃 explained Somerville the Briefless。 〃We
merely said that we personally did not believe you。 We didn't say we
couldn't believe you； it is a case for individual effort。 If you give us
particulars bearing the impress of reality； supported by details that do not
unduly contradict each other； we are prepared to put aside our natural
suspicions and face the possibility of your statement being correct。〃
〃It was foolish of me；〃 said Jack Herring。 〃I thought perhaps it
would amuse you to hear what sort of a woman Mrs。 Loveredge was
likesome description of Mrs。 Loveredge's uncle。 Miss Montgomery；
friend of Mrs。 Loveredge； is certainly one of the most remarkable
women I have ever met。 Of course； that isn't her real name。 But； as I
have said； it was foolish of me。 These peopleyou will never meet
them； you will never see them； of what interest can they be to you？〃
〃They had forgotten to draw down the blinds； and he climbed up a
lamp…post and looked through the window；〃 was the solution of the
problem put forward by the Wee Laddie。
〃I'm dining there again on Saturday；〃 volunteered Jack Herring。 〃If
any of you will promise not to make a disturbance； you can hang about
on the Park side； underneath the shadow of the fence； and watch me go
in。 My hansom will draw up at the door within a few minutes of
eight。〃
The Babe and the Poet agreed to undertake the test。
〃You won't mind our hanging round a little while； in case you're
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thrown out again？〃 asked the Babe。
〃Not in the least； so far as I am concerned；〃 replied Jack Herring。
〃Don't leave it too late and make your mother anxious。〃
〃It's true enough；〃 the Babe recounted afterwards。 〃The door was
opened by a manservant and he went straight in。 We walked up and
down for half an hour； and unless they put him out the back way； he's
telling the truth。〃
〃Did you hear him give his name？〃 asked Somerville； who was
stroking his moustache。
〃No； we were too far off；〃 explained the Babe。 〃ButI'll swear it
was Jackthere couldn't be any mistake about that。〃
〃Perhaps not；〃 agreed Somerville the Briefless。
Somerville the Briefless called at the offices of Good Humour； in
Crane Court； the following morning； and he also borrowed Miss
Ramsbotham's Debrett。
〃What's the meaning of it？〃 demanded the sub…editor。
〃Meaning of what？〃
〃This sudden interest of all you fellows in the British Peerage。〃
〃All of us？〃
〃Well； Herring was here last week； poring over that book for half an
hour； with the Morning Post spread out before him。 Now you're doing
the same thing。〃
〃Ah！ Jack Herring； was he？ I thought as much。 Don't talk about
it； Tommy。 I'll tell you later on。〃
On the following Monday； the Briefless one announced to the Club
that he had received an invitation to dine at the Loveredges' on the
following Wednesday。 On Tuesday； the Briefless one entered the Club
with a slow and stately step。 Halting opposite old Goslin the porter；
who had emerged from his box with the idea of discussing the Oxford
and Cambridge boat race； Somerville； removing his hat with a sweep of
the arm； held it out in silence。 Old Goslin； much astonished； took it
mechanically； whereupon the Briefless one； shaking himself free from
his Inverness cape； flung it lightly after the hat； and strolled on； not
noticing that old Goslin； unaccustomed to coats lightly and elegantly
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thrown at him； dropping the hat； had caught it on his head； and had been；
in the language of the prompt…book； 〃left struggling。〃 The Briefless