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LOVEREDGE WAS DEAD； THIS WAS A MARRIED MAN。〃
〃We don't want your feeble efforts at psychological romance；〃 told
him Somerville the Briefless。 〃We want to know what you talked about。
Dead or married； the man who can drink whisky…and…soda must be held
responsible for his actions。 What's the little beggar mean by cutting us
all in this way？ Did he ask after any of us？ Did he leave any message
for any of us？ Did he invite any of us to come an see him？〃
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〃Yes； he did ask after nearly everybody； I was coming to that。 But
he didn't leave any message。 I didn't gather that he was pining for old
relationships with any of us。〃
〃Well； I shall go round to the office to…morrow morning；〃 said
Somerville the Briefless； 〃and force my way in if necessary。 This is
getting mysterious。〃
But Somerville returned only to puzzle the Autolycus Club still
further。 Joey had talked about the weather； the state of political parties；
had received with unfeigned interest all gossip concerning his old
friends； but about himself； his wife； nothing had been gleaned。 Mrs。
Loveredge was well； Mrs。 Loveredge's relations were also well。 But at
present Mrs。 Loveredge was not receiving。
Members of the Autolycus Club with time upon their hands took up
the business of private detectives。 Mrs。 Loveredge turned out to be a
handsome； well…dressed lady of about thirty； as Peter Hope had desired。
At eleven in the morning； Mrs。 Loveredge shopped in the
neighbourhood of the Hampstead Road。 In the afternoon； Mrs。
Loveredge； in a hired carriage； would slowly promenade the Park；
looking； it was noticed； with intense interest at the occupants of other
carriages as they passed； but evidently having no acquaintances among
them。 The carriage； as a general rule； would call at Joey's office at five；
and Mr。 and Mrs。 Loveredge would drive home。 Jack Herring； as the
oldest friend； urged by the other members； took the bull by the horns and
called boldly。 On neither occasion was Mrs。 Loveredge at home。
〃I'm damned if I go again！〃 said Jack。 〃She was in the second time；
I know。 I watched her into the house。 Confound the stuck…up pair of
them！〃
Bewilderment gave place to indignation。 Now and again Joey would
creep； a mental shadow of his former self； into the Club where once
every member would have risen with a smile to greet him。 They gave
him curt answers and turned away from him。 Peter Hope one afternoon
found him there alone； standing with his hands in his pockets looking
out of window。 Peter was fifty； so he said； maybe a little older； men of
forty were to him mere boys。 So Peter； who hated mysteries； stepped
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forward with a determined air and clapped Joey on the shoulder。
〃I want to know； Joey；〃 said Peter； 〃I want to know whether I am to
go on liking you； or whether I've got to think poorly of you。 Out with
it。〃
Joey turned to him a face so full of misery that Peter's heart was
touched。 〃You can't tell how wretched it makes me；〃 said Joey。 〃I
didn't know it was possible to feel so uncomfortable as I have felt during
these last three months。〃
〃It's the wife； I suppose？〃 suggested Peter。
〃She's a dear girl。 She only has one fault。〃
〃It's a pretty big one；〃 returned Peter。 〃I should try and break her of
it if I were you。〃
〃Break her of it！〃 cried the little man。 〃You might as well advise
me to break a brick wall with my head。 I had no idea what they were
like。 I never dreamt it。〃
〃But what is her objection to us？ We are clean； we are fairly
intelligent〃
〃My dear Peter； do you think I haven't said all that； and a hundred
things more？ A woman！ she gets an idea into her head； and every
argument against it hammers it in further。 She has gained her notion of
what she calls Bohemia from the comic journals。 It's our own fault； we
have done it ourselves。 There's no persuading her that it's a libel。〃
〃Won't she see a few of usjudge for herself？ There's Porsonwhy
Porson might have been a bishop。 Or SomervilleSomerville's Oxford
accent is wasted here。 It has no chance。〃
〃It isn't only that；〃 explained Joey； 〃she has ambitions； social
ambitions。 She thinks that if we begin with the wrong set； we'll never
get into the right。 We have three friends at present； and； so far as I can
see； are never likely to have any more。 My dear boy； you'd never
believe there could exist such bores。 There's a man and his wife named
Holyoake。 They dine with us on Thursdays； and we dine with them on
Tuesdays。 Their only title to existence consists in their having a cousin
in the House of Lords； they claim no other right themselves。 He is a
widower； getting on for eighty。 Apparently he's the only relative they
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have； and when he dies； they talk of retiring into the country。 There's a
fellow named Cutler； who visited once at Marlborough House in
connection with a charity。 You'd think to listen to him that he had
designs upon the throne。 The most tiresome of them all is a noisy
woman who； as far as I can make out； hasn't any name at all。 'Miss
Montgomery' is on her cards； but that is only what she calls herself。
Who she really is！ It would shake the foundations of European society
if known。 We sit and talk about the aristocracy； we don't seem to know
anybody else。 I tried on one occasion a little sarcasm as a corrective
recounted conversations between myself and the Prince of Wales； in
which I invariably addressed him as 'Teddy。' It sounds tall； I know； but
those people took it in。 I was too astonished to undeceive them at the
time； the consequence is I am a sort of little god to them。 They come
round me and ask for more。 What am I to do？ I am helpless among
them。 I've never had anything to do before with the really first…prize
idiot； the usual type； of course； one knows； but these； if you haven't met
them； are inconceivable。 I try insulting them； they don't even know I
am insulting them。 Short of dragging them out of their chairs and
kicking them round the room； I don't see how to make them understand
it。〃
〃And Mrs。 Loveredge？〃 asked the sympathetic Peter； 〃is she〃
〃Between ourselves；〃 said Joey； sinking his voice to a needless
whisper； seeing he and Peter were the sole occupants of the smoking…
room〃I couldn't； of course； say it to a younger manbut between
ourselves； my wife is a charming woman。 You don't know her。〃
〃Doesn't seem much chance of my ever doing so；〃 laughed Peter。
〃So graceful； so dignified； soso queenly；〃 continued the little man；
with rising enthusiasm。 〃She has only one faultshe has no sense of
humour。〃
To Peter； as it has been said； men of forty were mere boys。
〃My dear fellow； whatever could have induced you〃
〃I knowI k