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Suppose I should call for a taste； just by way of a trial； of the nectar of
your lips； perhaps I might be disappointed in that too。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Nectar！ nectar！ That's a liquor there's no
call for in these parts。 French； I suppose。 We sell no French wines here；
sir。
MARLOW。 Of true English growth； I assure you。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Then it's odd I should not know it。 We
brew all sorts of wines in this house； and I have lived here these eighteen
years。
MARLOW。 Eighteen years！ Why； one would think； child； you kept
the bar before you were born。 How old are you？
MISS HARDCASTLE。 O！ sir； I must not tell my age。 They say
women and music should never be dated。
MARLOW。 To guess at this distance； you can't be much above forty
（approaching）。 Yet； nearer； I don't think so much （approaching）。 By
coming close to some women they look younger still； but when we come
very close indeed（attempting to kiss her）。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Pray； sir； keep your distance。 One would
think you wanted to know one's age； as they do horses； by mark of mouth。
MARLOW。 I protest； child； you use me extremely ill。 If you keep
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me at this distance； how is it possible you and I can ever be acquainted？
MISS HARDCASTLE。 And who wants to be acquainted with you？
I want no such acquaintance； not I。 I'm sure you did not treat Miss
Hardcastle； that was here awhile ago； in this obstropalous manner。 I'll
warrant me； before her you looked dashed； and kept bowing to the ground；
and talked； for all the world； as if you was before a justice of peace。
MARLOW。 （Aside。） Egad； she has hit it； sure enough！ （To her。）
In awe of her； child？ Ha！ ha！ ha！ A mere awkward squinting thing； no；
no。 I find you don't know me。 I laughed and rallied her a little； but I
was unwilling to be too severe。 No； I could not be too severe； curse me！
MISS HARDCASTLE。 O！ then； sir； you are a favourite； I find；
among the ladies？
MARLOW。 Yes； my dear； a great favourite。 And yet hang me； I
don't see what they find in me to follow。 At the Ladies' Club in town I'm
called their agreeable Rattle。 Rattle； child； is not my real name； but one
I'm known by。 My name is Solomons； Mr。 Solomons； my dear； at your
service。 （Offering to salute her。）
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Hold； sir； you are introducing me to your
club； not to yourself。 And you're so great a favourite there； you say？
MARLOW。 Yes； my dear。 There's Mrs。 Mantrap； Lady Betty
Blackleg； the Countess of Sligo； Mrs。 Langhorns； old Miss Biddy
Buckskin； and your humble servant； keep up the spirit of the place。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Then it's a very merry place； I suppose？
MARLOW。 Yes； as merry as cards； supper； wine； and old women can
make us。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 And their agreeable Rattle； ha！ ha！ ha！
MARLOW。 （Aside。） Egad！ I don't quite like this chit。 She looks
knowing； methinks。 You laugh； child？
MISS HARDCASTLE。 I can't but laugh； to think what time they all
have for minding their work or their family。
MARLOW。 （Aside。） All's well； she don't laugh at me。 （To her。）
Do you ever work； child？
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Ay； sure。 There's not a screen or quilt in the
whole house but what can bear witness to that。 MARLOW。 Odso！ then
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you must show me your embroidery。 I embroider and draw patterns
myself a little。 If you want a judge of your work； you must apply to me。
（Seizing her hand。）
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Ay； but the colours do not look well by
candlelight。 You shall see all in the morning。 （Struggling。）
MARLOW。 And why not now； my angel？ Such beauty fires
beyond the power of resistance。Pshaw！ the father here！ My old luck： I
never nicked seven that I did not throw ames ace three times following。
＇Exit MARLOW。＇
Enter HARDCASTLE； who stands in surprise。
HARDCASTLE。 So； madam。 So； I find THIS is your MODEST
lover。 This is your humble admirer； that kept his eyes fixed on the
ground； and only adored at humble distance。 Kate； Kate； art thou not
ashamed to deceive your father so？
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Never trust me； dear papa； but he's still the
modest man I first took him for； you'll be convinced of it as well as I。
HARDCASTLE。 By the hand of my body； I believe his impudence is
infectious！ Didn't I see him seize your hand？ Didn't I see him haul you
about like a milkmaid？ And now you talk of his respect and his modesty；
forsooth！
MISS HARDCASTLE。 But if I shortly convince you of his modesty；
that he has only the faults that will pass off with time； and the virtues that
will improve with age； I hope you'll forgive him。
HARDCASTLE。 The girl would actually make one run mad！ I tell
you； I'll not be convinced。 I am convinced。 He has scarce been three
hours in the house； and he has already encroached on all my prerogatives。
You may like his impudence； and call it modesty； but my son…in…law；
madam； must have very different qualifications。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Sir； I ask but this night to convince you。
HARDCASTLE。 You shall not have half the time； for I have
thoughts of turning him out this very hour。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Give me that hour then； and I hope to satisfy
you。
HARDCASTLE。 Well； an hour let it be then。 But I'll have no
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trifling with your father。 All fair and open； do you mind me。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 I hope； sir； you have ever found that I
considered your commands as my pride； for your kindness is such； that my
duty as yet has been inclination。 ＇Exeunt。＇
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ACT THE FOURTH。
Enter HASTINGS and MISS NEVILLE。
HASTINGS。 You surprise me； Sir Charles Marlow expected here
this night！ Where have you had your information？
MISS NEVILLE。 You may depend upon it。 I just saw his letter to
Mr。 Hardcastle； in which he tells him he intends setting out a few hours
after his son。
HASTINGS。 Then； my Constance； all must be completed before he
arrives。 He knows me； and should he find me here； would discover my
name； and perhaps my designs； to the rest of the family。
MISS NEVILLE。 The jewels； I hope； are safe？
HASTINGS。 Yes； yes； I have sent them to Marlow； who keeps the
keys of our baggage。 In the mean time； I'll go to prepare matters for our
elopement。 I have had the 'squire's promise of a fresh pair of horses； and
if I should not see him again； will write him further directions。 ＇Exit。＇
MISS NEVILLE。 Well！ success attend you。 In the mean time I'll
go and amuse my aunt with the old pretence of a violent passion for my
cousin。 ＇Exit。＇
Enter MARLOW； followed by a Servant。
MARLOW。 I wonder what Hastings could mean by sending me so
valuable a thing as a casket to keep for him； when he knows the only place
I have is the seat of a post…coach at an inn…door。 Have you deposited the
casket with the landlady； as I ordered you？ Have you put it into her own
hands？
SERVANT。 Yes； your honour。
MARLOW。 She said she'd keep it safe； did she？
SERVANT。 Yes； she said she'd keep it safe enough； she asked me
how I came by it； and she said she had a great mind to make me give an
account of myself。 ＇Exit Servant。＇
MARLOW。 Ha！ ha！ ha！ They're safe； however。 What an
unaccountable