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〃General〃 replied 〃That； Sir； is the number of pitched battles I have won。〃
I have my doubts as to the absolute veracity of this tale。 But that the
son of one of our generals； appeared not long ago at a public reception
abroad； wearing his father's medals and decorations； is said to be true。
Decorations on the Continent are official badges of distinction conferred
and recognized by the different governments。 An American who wears；
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out of his own country； an army or college badge which has no official
existence； properly speaking； being recognized by no government； but
which is made intentionally to look as much as possible like the 〃Legion
d'Honneur；〃 is deliberately imposing on the ignorance of foreigners； and is
but little less of a pretentious idiot than the owners of the trunk check and
the borrowed decorations。
There seems no end to the ways a little ambitious game can be played。
One device much in favor is for the wife to attach her own family name to
that of her husband by means of a hyphen。 By this arrangement she does
not entirely lose her individuality； as a result we have a splendid
assortment of hybrid names； such as Van Cortland…Smith and Beekman…
Brown。 Be they never so incongruous these double…barrelled cognomens
serve their purpose and raise ambitious mortals above the level of other
Smiths and Browns。 Finding that this arrangement works well in their own
case； it is passed on to the next generation。 There are no more Toms and
Bills in these aspiring days。 The little boys are all Cadwalladers or
Carrolls。 Their school…fellows； however； work sad havoc with these high…
sounding titles and quickly abbreviate them into humble 〃Cad〃 or 〃Rol。〃
It is surprising to notice what a number of middle…aged gentlemen
have blossomed out of late with decorations in their button…holes
according to the foreign fashion。 On inquiry I have discovered that these
ornaments designate members of the G。A。R。； the Loyal Legion； or some
local Post； for the rosettes differ in form and color。 When these gentlemen
travel abroad； to reduce their waists or improve their minds； the effects on
the hotel waiters and cabmen must be immense。 They will be charged
three times the ordinary tariff instead of only the double which is the
stranger's usual fate at the hands of simple…minded foreigners。 The
satisfaction must be cheap； however； at that price。
Even our wise men and sages do not seem to have escaped the
contagion。 One sees professors and clergymen （who ought to set a better
example） trailing half a dozen letters after their names； initials which to
the initiated doubtless mean something； but which are also intended to fill
the souls of the ignorant with envy。 I can recall but one case of a foreign
decoration being refused by a compatriot。 He was a genius and we all
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know that geniuses are crazy。 This gentleman had done something
particularly gratifying to an Eastern potentate； who in return offered him
one of his second…best orders。 It was at once refused。 When urged on him
a second time our countryman lost his temper and answered； 〃If you want
to give it to somebody； present it to my valet。 He is most anxious to be
decorated。〃 And it was done！
It does not require a deeply meditative mind to discover the motives of
ambitious struggles。 The first and strongest illusion of the human mind is
to believe that we are different from our fellows； and our natural impulse
is to try and impress this belief upon others。
Pride of birth is but one of the manifestations of the universal
weakness … invariably taking stronger and stronger hold of the people； who
from the modest dimension of their income； or other untoward
circumstances； can find no outward and visible form with which to dazzle
the world。 You will find that a desire to shine is the secret of most of the
tips and presents that are given while travelling or visiting； for they can
hardly be attributed to pure spontaneous generosity。
How many people does one meet who talk of their poor and
unsuccessful relatives while omitting to mention rich and powerful
connections？ We are told that far from blaming such a tendency we are to
admire it。 That it is proper pride to put one's best foot forward and keep an
offending member well out of sight； that the man who wears a rosette in
the button…hole of his coat and has half the alphabet galloping after his
name； is an honor to his family。
Far be it from me to deride this weakness in others； for in my heart I
am persuaded that if I lived in China； nothing would please me more than
to have my cap adorned with a coral button； while if fate had cast my life
in the pleasant places of central Africa； a ring in my nose would doubtless
have filled my soul with joy。 The fact that I share this weakness does not；
however； prevent my laughing at such folly in others。
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CHAPTER 24 … Changing Paris
PARIS is beginning to show signs of the coming 〃Exhibition of
1900；〃 and is in many ways going through a curious stage of
transformation； socially as well as materially。 The PALAIS DE
L'INDUSTRIE； familiar to all visitors here； as the home of the SALONS；
the Horse Shows； and a thousand gay FETES and merry… makings； is
being torn down to make way for the new avenue leading； with the bridge
Alexander III。； from the Champs Elysees to the Esplanade des Invalides。
This thoroughfare with the gilded dome of Napoleon's tomb to close its
perspective is intended to be the feature of the coming 〃show。〃
Curious irony of things in this world！ The PALAIS DE L'INDUSTRIE
was intended to be the one permanent building of the exhibition of 1854。
An old 〃Journal〃 I often read tells how the writer saw the long line of
gilded coaches （borrowed from Versailles for the occasion）； eight horses
apiece； led by footmen … horses and men blazing in embroidered trappings
… leave the Tuileries and proceed at a walk to the great gateway of the now
disappearing palace。 Victoria and Albert who were on an official visit to
the Emperor were the first to alight； then Eugenie in the radiance of her
perfect beauty stepped from the coach （sad omen！） that fifty years before
had taken Josephine in tears to Malmaison。
It may interest some ladies to know how an Empress was dressed on
that spring morning forty…four years ago。 She wore rose…colored silk with
an over…dress （I think that is what it is called） of black lace flounces；
immense hoops； and a black CHANTILLY lace shawl。 Her hair； a brilliant
golden auburn； was dressed low on the temples； covering the ears； and
hung down her back in a gold net almost to her waist； at the extreme back
of her head was placed a black and rose…colored bonnet； open 〃flowing〃
sleeves showed her bare arms； one…buttoned； straw…colored gloves； and
ruby bracelets； she carried a tiny rose…colored parasol not a foot in
diameter。
How England's great sovereign was dressed the writer of the journal
does not so well remember； for in those days Eugenie was the cynosure of
all eyes； and people rarely looked at anything else when they could get a
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glimpse of her lovely face。
It appears； however； that the Queen sported an India shawl； hoops； and
a green bonnet； which was not particularly becoming to her red face。 She
and Napoleon entered the building first； the Empress （who was in delicate
health） was carried in an open chair； with Prince Albert walking at her side；
a marvellously handsome couple to follow the two dowdy little sovereigns
who preceded them。 The writer had by bribery succeeded