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when his deep； regular breathing gave them notice that he was asleep； they
assembled together in an immense crowd； spreading over a space of about
twenty…seven feet square。 One of their most eloquent orators （and a valiant
warrior enough； besides； though hardly so good at any other weapon as he
was with his tongue） climbed upon a toadstool； and； from that elevated
position； addressed the multitude。 His sentiments were pretty much as
follows； or； at all events； something like this was probably the upshot of
his speech：
〃Tall Pygmies and mighty little men！ You and all of us have seen what
a public calamity has been brought to pass； and what an insult has here
been offered to the majesty of our nation。 Yonder lies Antaeus； our great
friend and brother； slain； within our territory； by a miscreant who took him
at disadvantage； and fought him （if fighting it can be called） in a way that
neither man； nor Giant； nor Pygmy ever dreamed of fighting； until this
hour。 And； adding a grievous contumely to the wrong already done us； the
miscreant has now fallen asleep as quietly as if nothing were to be dreaded
from our wrath！ It behooves you； fellow…countrymen； to consider in what
aspect we shall stand before the world； and what will be the verdict of
impartial history； should we suffer these accumulated outrages to go
unavenged。
〃Antaeus was our brother； born of that same beloved parent to whom
we owe the thews and sinews； as well as the courageous hearts； which
made him proud of our relationship。 He was our faithful ally； and fell
fighting as much for our national rights and immunities as for his own
personal ones。 We and our forefathers have dwelt in friendship with him；
and held affectionate intercourse as man to man； through immemorial
generations。 You remember how often our entire people have reposed in
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his great shadow； and how our little ones have played at hide…and…seek in
the tangles of his hair； and how his mighty footsteps have familiarly gone
to and fro among us； and never trodden upon any of our toes。 And there
lies this dear brother this sweet and amiable friendthis brave and
faithful ally…this virtuous Giantthis blameless and excellent Antaeus
dead！ Dead！ Silent！ Powerless！ A mere mountain of clay！ Forgive my tears！
Nay； I behold your own。 Were we to drown the world with them； could the
world blame us？
〃But to resume： Shall we； my countrymen； suffer this wicked stranger
to depart unharmed； and triumph in his treacherous victory； among distant
communities of the earth？ Shall we not rather compel him to leave his
bones here on our soil； by the side of our slain brother's bones？ so that；
while one skeleton shall remain as the everlasting monument of our
sorrow； the other shall endure as long； exhibiting to the whole human race
a terrible example of Pygmy vengeance！ Such is the question。 I put it to
you in full confidence of a response that shall be worthy of our national
character； and calculated to increase； rather than diminish； the glory which
our ancestors have transmitted to us； and which we ourselves have proudly
vindicated in our warfare with the cranes。〃
The orator was here interrupted by a burst of irrepressible enthusiasm；
every individual Pygmy crying out that the national honor must be
preserved at all hazards。 He bowed； and； making a gesture for silence；
wound up his harangue in the following admirable manner：
〃It only remains for us； then； to decide whether we shall carry on the
war in our national capacityone united people against a common enemy…
…or whether some champion； famous in former fights； shall be selected to
defy the slayer of our brother Antaeus to single combat。 In the latter case；
though not unconscious that there may be taller men among you； I hereby
offer myself for that enviable duty。 And believe me； dear countrymen；
whether I live or die； the honor of this great country； and the fame
bequeathed us by our heroic progenitors； shall suffer no diminution in my
hands。 Never； while I can wield this sword； of which I now fling away the
scabbardnever； never； never； even if the crimson hand that slew the great
Antaeus shall lay me prostrate； like him； on the soil which I give my life to
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defend。〃
So saying； this valiant Pygmy drew out his weapon （which was terrible
to behold； being as long as the blade of a penknife）； and sent the scabbard
whirling over the heads of the multitude。 His speech was followed by an
uproar of applause； as its patriotism and self…devotion unquestionably
deserved； and the shouts and clapping of hands would have been greatly
prolonged； had they not been rendered quite inaudible by a deep
respiration； vulgarly called a snore； from the sleeping Hercules。
It was finally decided that the whole nation of Pygmies should set to
work to destroy Hercules； not； be it understood； from any doubt that a
single champion would be capable of putting him to the sword； but
because he was a public enemy； and all were desirous of sharing in the
glory of his defeat。 There was a debate whether the national honor did not
demand that a herald should be sent with a trumpet； to stand over the ear
of Hercules； and after blowing a blast right into it； to defy him to the
combat by formal proclamation。 But two or three venerable and sagacious
Pygmies； well versed in state affairs； gave it as their opinion that war
already existed； and that it was their rightful privilege to take the enemy
by surprise。 Moreover； if awakened； and allowed to get upon his feet；
Hercules might happen to do them a mischief before he could be beaten
down again。 For； as these sage counselors remarked； the stranger's club
was really very big； and had rattled like a thunderbolt against the skull of
Antaeus。 So the Pygmies resolved to set aside all foolish punctilios； and
assail their antagonist at once。
Accordingly； all the fighting men of the nation took their weapons； and
went boldly up to Hercules； who still lay fast asleep； little dreaming of the
harm which the Pygmies meant to do him。 A body of twenty thousand
archers marched in front； with their little bows all ready； and the arrows on
the string。 The same number were ordered to clamber upon Hercules；
some with spades to dig his eyes out； and others with bundles of hay； and
all manner of rubbish with which they intended to plug up his mouth and
nostrils； so that he might perish for lack of breath。 These last； however；
could by no means perform their appointed duty； inasmuch as the enemy's
breath rushed out of his nose in an obstreperous hurricane and whirlwind；
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which blew the Pygmies away as fast as they came nigh。 It was found
necessary； therefore； to hit upon some other method of carrying on the
war。
After holding a council； the captains ordered their troops to collect
sticks； straws； dry weeds； and whatever combustible stuff they could find；
and make a pile of it； heaping it high around the head of Hercules。 As a
great many thousand Pygmies were employed in this task； they soon
brought together several bushels of inflammatory matter； and raised so tall
a heap； that； mounting on its summit； they were quite upon a level with the
sleeper's face。 The archers； meanwhile； were stationed within bow shot；
with orders to let fly at Hercules the instant that he stirred。 Everything
being in readiness； a torch was applied to the pile； which immediately
burst into flames； and soon waxed hot enough to roast the enemy； had he
but chosen to lie still。 A Pygmy； you know； though so very small； might set
the world on fire； just as easily as a Giant could； so that this was certainly
the very best way of dealing with their foe； p