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‘The Style of the decorations；' he remarked； alluding to the painted stage…front； 'is Moorish。'
He lit the candles at the back of the stage and； having borrowed a tea…tray from Nora； desired the audience to take their seats。 When they had all done so； he requested Owen to put out the lamp and the candles on the tree； and then he made another speech； imitating the manner of the lecturer at the panorama entertainment before mentioned。
‘Ladies and Gentlemen： with your kind permission I am about to hinterduce to your notice some pitchers of events in different parts of the world。 As each pitcher appears on the stage I will give a short explanation of the subject； and afterwards the band will play a suitable collection of appropriated music； consisting of hymns and all the latest and most popular songs of the day； and the audience is kindly requested to join in the chorus。
‘Our first scene；' continued Bert as he turned the handles and brought the picture into view； ‘represents the docks at Southampton； the magnificent steamer which you see lying alongside the shore is the ship which is waiting to take us to foreign parts。 As we have already paid our fare； we will now go on board and set sail。'
As an accompaniment to this picture Bert played the tune of ‘Goodbye； Dolly； I must leave you'； and by the time the audience had finished singing the chorus he had rolled on another scene； which depicted a dreadful storm at sea； with a large ship evidently on the point of foundering。 The waves were running mountains high and the inky clouds were riven by forked lightning。 To increase the terrifying effect； Bert rattled the tea tray and played ‘The Bay of Biscay'； and the children sung the chorus whilst he rolled the next picture into view。 This scene showed the streets of a large city； mounted police with drawn swords were dispersing a crowd： several men had been ridden down and were being trampled under the hoofs of the horses； and a number of others were bleeding profusely from wounds on the head and face。
‘After a rather stormy passage we arrives safely at the beautiful city of Berlin； in Germany； just in time to see a procession of unemployed workmen being charged by the military police。 This picture is hintitled 〃Tariff Reform means Work for All〃。'
As an appropriate musical selection Bert played the tune of a well…known song； and the children sang the words：
‘To be there！ to be there！ Oh； I knew what it was to be there！ And when they tore me clothes； Blacked me eyes and broke me nose； Then I knew what it was to be there！'
During the singing Bert turned the handles backwards and again brought on the picture of the storm at sea。
‘As we don't want to get knocked on the 'ed； we clears out of Berlin as soon as we can … whiles we're safe … and once more embarks on our gallint ship' and after a few more turns of the 'andle we finds ourselves back once more in Merry Hingland； where we see the inside of a blacksmith's shop with a lot of half…starved women making iron chains。 They work seventy hours a week for seven shillings。 Our next scene is hintitled 〃The Hook and Eye Carders〃。 'Ere we see the inside of a room in Slumtown； with a mother and three children and the old grandmother sewin' hooks and eyes on cards to be sold in drapers' shops。 It ses underneath the pitcher that 384 hooks and 384 eyes has to be joined together and sewed on cards for one penny。'
While this picture was being rolled away the band played and the children sang with great enthusiasm：
‘Rule； Brittania； Brittania rules the waves！ Britons； never； never； never shall be slaves！'
‘Our next picture is called 〃An Englishman's Home〃。 'Ere we see the inside of another room in Slumtown； with the father and mother and four children sitting down to dinner … bread and drippin' and tea。 It ses underneath the pitcher that there's Thirteen millions of people in England always on the verge of starvation。 These people that you see in the pitcher might be able to get a better dinner than this if it wasn't that most of the money wot the bloke earns 'as to pay the rent。 Again we turns the 'andle and presently we comes to another very beautiful scene … 〃Early Morning in Trafalgar Square〃。 'Ere we see a lot of Englishmen who have been sleepin' out all night because they ain't got no 'omes to go to。'
As a suitable selection for this picture； Bert played the tune of a music…hall song； the words of which were familiar to all the youngsters； who sang at the top of their voices：
‘I live in Trafalgar Square； With four lions to guard me； Pictures and statues all over the place； Lord Nelson staring me straight in the face； Of course it's rather draughty； But still I'm sure you'll agree； If it's good enough for Lord Nelson； It's quite good enough for me。'
‘Next we 'ave a view of the dining…hall at the Topside Hotel in London； where we see the tables set for a millionaires' banquet。 The forks and spoons is made of solid gold and the plates is made of silver。 The flowers that you see on the tables and 'angin' down from the ceilin' and on the walls is worth ？；000 and it cost the bloke wot give the supper over ？0；000 for this one beano。 A few more turns of the 'andle shows us another glorious banquet … the King of Rhineland being entertained by the people of England。 Next we finds ourselves looking on at the Lord Mayor's supper at the Mansion House。 All the fat men that you see sittin' at the tables is Liberal and Tory Members of Parlimint。 After this we 'ave a very beautiful pitcher hintitled 〃Four footed Haristocrats〃。 'Ere you see Lady Slumrent's pet dogs sittin' up on chairs at their dinner table with white linen napkins tied round their necks； eatin' orf silver plates like human people and being waited on by real live waiters in hevening dress。 Lady Slumrent is very fond of her pretty pets and she does not allow them to be fed on anything but the very best food； they gets chicken； rump steak； mutton chops； rice pudding； jelly and custard。'
‘I wished I was a pet dog； don't you？' remarked Tommy Newman to Charley Linden。
‘Not arf！' replied Charley。
‘Here we see another unemployed procession；' continued Bert as he rolled another picture into sight； ‘2；000 able…bodied men who are not allowed to work。 Next we see the hinterior of a Hindustrial 'Ome … Blind children and cripples working for their living。 Our next scene is called 〃Cheap Labour〃。 'Ere we see a lot of small boys about twelve and thirteen years old bein' served out with their Labour Stifficats； which gives 'em the right to go to work and earn money to help their unemployed fathers to pay the slum rent。
‘Once more we turns the 'andle and brings on one of our finest scenes。 This lovely pitcher is hintitled 〃The Hangel of Charity〃； and shows us the beautiful Lady Slumrent seated at the table in a cosy corner of 'er charmin' boodore； writin' out a little cheque for the relief of the poor of Slumtown。
‘Our next scene is called 〃The Rival Candidates； or； a Scene during the General Election〃。 On the left you will observe； standin' up in a motor car； a swell bloke with a eyeglass stuck in one eye； and a overcoat with a big fur collar and cuffs； addressing the crowd： this is the Honourable Augustus Slumrent； the Conservative candidate。 On the other side of the road we see another motor car and another swell bloke with a round pane of glass in one eye and a overcoat with a big fur collar and cuffs； standing up in the car and addressin' the crowd。 This is Mr Mandriver； the Liberal candidate。 The crowds of shabby… lookin' chaps standin' round the motor cars wavin' their 'ats and cheerin' is workin' men。 Both the candidates is tellin' 'em the same old story； and each of 'em is askin' the workin' men to elect 'im to Parlimint； and promisin' to do something or other to make things better for the lower horders。'
As an appropriate selection to go with this picture； Bert played the tune of a popular song； the words being well known to the children； who sang enthusiastically； clapping their hands and stamping their feet on the floor in time with the music：
‘We've both been there before； Many a time； many a time！ We've both been there before； Many a time！ Where many a gallon of beer has gone。 To colour his nose and mine； We've both been there before； Many a time； many a time！'
At the conclusion of the singing； Bert turned another picture into view。
‘'Ere we 'ave another election scene。 At each side we see the two candidates the same as in the last pitcher。 In the middle of the road we see a man lying on the ground； covered with blood； with a lot of Liberal and Tory working men kickin' 'im； jumpin' on 'im； and stampin' on 'is face with their 'obnailed boots。 The bloke on the ground is a Socialist； and the reason why they're kickin' 'is face in is because 'e said that the only difference between Slumrent and Mandriver was that they was both alike。'
While the audience were admiring this picture； Bert played another well…known tune； and the children sang the words：
‘Two lovely black