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the benefit of education； sent out to be put up in the kirk； under the loft
over the family vault； an elegant marble headstone； with an epitaph
engraven thereon； in fair Latin； setting forth many excellent qualities
which the old laird； my patron that was； the inditer thereof said he
possessed。 I say the inditer； because it couldna have been the young laird
himself； although he got the credit o't on the stone； for he was nae daub in
my aught at the Latin or any other language。 However； he might improve
himself at Edinburgh； where a' manner of genteel things were then to be
got at an easy rate； and doubtless the young laird got a probationer at the
College to write the epitaph； but I have often wondered sin' syne； how he
came to make it in Latin； for assuredly his dead parent； if he could have
seen it； could not have read a single word o't； notwithstanding it was so
vaunty about his virtues； and other civil and hospitable qualifications。
The coming of the laird's monumental stone had a great effect on me；
then in a state of deep despondency for the loss of the first Mrs
Balwhidder； and I thought I could not do a better thing； just by way of
diversion in my heavy sorrow； than to get a well…shapen headstone made
for herwhich； as I have hinted at in the record of the last year； was done
and set up。 But a headstone without an epitaph； is no better than a body
without the breath of life in't； and so it behoved me to make a poesy for
the monument； the which I conned and pondered upon for many days。 I
thought as Mrs Balwhidder； worthy woman as she was； did not understand
the Latin tongue； it would not do to put on what I had to say in that
language； as the laird had donenor indeed would it have been easy； as I
found upon the experimenting； to tell what I had to tell in Latin； which is
naturally a crabbed language； and very difficult to write properly。 I
therefore； after mentioning her age and the dates of her birth and departure；
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composed in sedate poetry the following epitaph； which may yet be seen
on the tombstone。
EPITAPH
A lovely Christian； spouse； and friend； Pleasant in life； and at her end。
… A pale consumption dealt the blow That laid her here； with dust below。
Sore was the cough that shook her frame； That cough her patience did
proclaim … And as she drew her latest breath； She said； 〃The Lord is sweet
in death。〃 O pious reader！ standing by； Learn like this gentle one to die。
The grass doth grow and fade away； And time runs out by night and day；
The King of Terrors has command To strike us with his dart in hand。 Go
where we will by flood or field； He will pursue and make us yield。 But
though to him we must resign The vesture of our part divine； There is a
jewel in our trust； That will not perish in the dust； A pearl of price； a
precious gem； Ordained for Jesus' diadem； Therefore； be holy while you
can； And think upon the doom of man。 Repent in time and sin no more；
That when the strife of life is o'er； On wings of love your soul may rise； To
dwell with angels in the skies； Where psalms are sung eternally； And
martyrs ne'er again shall die； But with the saints still bask in bliss； And
drink the cup of blessedness。
This was greatly thought of at the time； and Mr Lorimore； who had a
nerve for poesy himself in his younger years； was of opinion that it was so
much to the purpose； and suitable withal； that he made his scholars write it
out for their examination copies； at the reading whereof before the heritors；
when the examination of the school came round； the tear came into my eye；
and every one present sympathized with me in my great affliction for the
loss of the first Mrs Balwhidder。
Andrew Langshaw； as I have recorded； having come from the Glasgow
College to the burial of his sister； my wife that was； stayed with me a
month to keep me company； and staying with me； he was a great cordial；
for the weather was wet and sleety； and the nights were stormy； so that I
could go little out； and few of the elders came in； they being at that time
old men in a feckless condition； not at all qualified to warsle with the
blasts of winter。 But when Andrew left me to go back to his classes； I
was eerie and lonesome； and but for the getting of the monument ready；
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ANNALS OF THE PARISH
which was a blessed entertainment to me in those dreary nights； with
consulting anent the shape of it with John Truel； and meditating on the
verse for the epitaph； I might have gone altogether demented。 However；
it pleased Him； who is the surety of the sinner； to help me through the
Slough of Despond； and to set my feet on firm land； establishing my way
thereon。
But the work of the monument； and the epitaph； could not endure for a
constancy； and after it was done； I was again in great danger of sinking
into the hypochonderies a second time。 However； I was enabled to fight
with my affliction； and by…and…by； as the spring began to open her green
lattice； and to set out her flower…pots to the sunshine； and the time of the
singing of birds was come； I became more composed； and like myself； so I
often walked in the fields； and held communion with nature； and
wondered at the mysteries thereof。
On one of these occasions； as I was sauntering along the edge of
Eaglesham…wood； looking at the industrious bee going from flower to
flower； and the idle butterfly； that layeth up no store； but perisheth ere it is
winter； I felt as it were a spirit from on high descending upon me； a throb
at my heart； and a thrill in my brain； and I was transported out of myself；
and seized with the notion of writing a bookbut what it should be about；
I could not settle to my satisfaction。 Sometimes I thought of an orthodox
poem； like PARADISE LOST； by John Milton； wherein I proposed to treat
more at large of Original Sin； and the great mystery of Redemption； at
others； I fancied that a connect treatise on the efficacy of Free Grace
would be more taking； but although I made divers beginnings in both
subjects； some new thought ever came into my head； and the whole
summer passed away and nothing was done。 I therefore postponed my
design of writing a book till the winter； when I would have the benefit of
the long nights。 Before that； however； I had other things of more
importance to think about。 My servant lasses； having no eye of a
mistress over them； wastered every thing at such a rate； and made such a
galravitching in the house； that； long before the end of the year； the year's
stipend was all spent； and I did not know what to do。 At lang and length
I mustered courage to send for Mr Auld； who was then living； and an elder。
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He was a douce and discreet man； fair and well…doing in the world； and
had a better handful of strong common sense than many even of the
heritors。 So I told him how I was situated； and conferred with him； and
he advised me； for my own sake； to look out for another wife as soon as
decency would allow； which he thought might very properly be after the
turn of the year； by which time the first Mrs Balwhidder would be dead
more than twelve months； and when I mentioned my design to write a
book； he said； （and he was a man of good discretion）； that the doing of the
book was a thing that would keep； but masterful servants were a growing
evil； so； upon his counselling； I resolved not to meddle with the book till I
was married again； but employ the interim； between then and the turn of
the year； in looking out for a prudent woman to be my second wife； strictly
intending； as I did perform； not to mint a word about my choice； if I made
one； till the whole twelve months and a day； from the date of the first Mrs
Balwhidder's intermen