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among us； and the first was Robin Bicker； a very civil lad that had been a
flunkey with Sir Hugh Montgomerie； when he was a residenter in
Edinburgh； before the old Sir Hugh's death。 He was a queer fellow； and
had a coothy way of getting in about folk； the which was very serviceable
to him in his vocation； nor was he overly gleg： but when a job was ill done；
and he was obliged to notice it； he would often break out on the smugglers
for being so stupid； so that for an exciseman he was wonderful well liked；
and did not object to a waught of brandy at a time； when the auld wives
ca'd it well… water。 It happened； however； that some unneighbourly
person sent him notice of a clecking of tea chests； or brandy kegs； at which
both Jenny and Betty Pawkie were the howdies。 Robin could not but
therefore enter their house； however； before going in； he just cried at the
door to somebody on the road； so as to let the twa industrious lassies hear
he was at hand。 They were not slack in closing the trance…door； and
putting stoups and stools behind it； so as to cause trouble； and give time
before any body could get in。 They then emptied their chaff…bed； and filled
the tikeing with tea； and Betty went in on the top； covering herself with the
blanket； and graining like a woman in labour。 It was thought that Robin
Bicker himself would not have been overly particular in searching the
house； considering there was a woman seemingly in the death…thraws； but
a sorner； an incomer from the east country； and that hung about the
change…house as a divor hostler； that would rather gang a day's journey in
the dark than turn a spade in day…light； came to him as he stood at the door；
and went in with him to see the sport。 Robin； for some reason； could not
bid him go away； and both Betty and Janet were sure he was in the plot
against them； indeed； it was always thought he was an informer； and no
doubt he was something not canny； for he had a down look。
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It was some time before the doorway was cleared of the stoups and
stools； and Jenny was in great concern； and flustered； as she said； for her
poor sister； who was taken with a heart…colic。 〃I'm sorry for her；〃 said
Robin； 〃but I'll be as quiet as possible；〃 and so he searched all the house；
but found nothing； at the which his companion； the divor east country
hostler； swore an oath that could not be misunderstood； so； without more
ado； but as all thought against the grain； Robin went up to sympathize with
Betty in the bed； whose groans were loud and vehement。 〃Let me feel
your pulse；〃 said Robin； and he looted down as she put forth her arm from
aneath the clothes； and laying his hand on the bed； cried； 〃Hey！ what's this？
this is a costly filling。〃 Upon which Betty jumpet up quite recovered；
and Jenny fell to the wailing and railing； while the hostler from the east
country took the bed of tea on his back； to carry it to the change…house； till
a cart was gotten to take it into the custom…house at Irville。
Betty Pawkie being thus suddenly cured； and grudging the loss of
property； took a knife in her hand； and as the divor was crossing the burn
at the stepping…stones that lead to the back of the change… house； she ran
after him and ripped up the tikeing； and sent all the tea floating away on
the burn； which was thought a brave action of Betty； and the story not a
little helped to lighten our melancholy meditations。
Robin Bicker was soon after this affair removed to another district； and
we got in his place one Mungo Argyle； who was as proud as a provost；
being come of Highland parentage。 Black was the hour he came among
my people； for he was needy and greedy； and rode on the top of his
commission。 Of all the manifold ills in the train of smuggling； surely the
excisemen are the worst； and the setting of this rabiator over us was a
severe judgment for our sins。 But he suffered for't； and peace be with
him in the grave； where the wicked cease from troubling！
Willie Malcolm； the youngest son of his mother； had by this time
learned all that Mr Lorimore； the schoolmaster； could teach； and as it was
evidenced to every body； by his mild manners and saintliness of
demeanour； that he was a chosen vessel； his mother longed to fulfil his
own wish； which was doubtless the natural working of the act of grace that
had been shed upon him； but she had not the wherewithal to send him to
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the college of Glasgow； where he was desirous to study； and her just pride
would not allow her to cess his brother…in…law； the Captain Macadam；
whom； I should now mention； was raised in the end of this year； as we
read in the newspapers； to be a major。 I thought her in this somewhat
unreasonable； for she would not be persuaded to let me write to the captain；
but when I reflected on the good that Willie Malcolm might in time do as a
preacher； I said nothing more to her； but indited a letter to the Lord
Eaglesham； setting forth the lad's parts； telling who he was and all about
his mother's scruples； and； by the retour of the post from London his
lordship sent me an order on his steward； to pay me twenty pounds
towards equipping my protegee； as he called Willie； with a promise to pay
for his education； which was such a great thing for his lordship to do off…
hand on my recommendation； that it won much affection throughout the
country side； and folks began to wonder； rehearsing the great things； as
was said； that I had gotten my lord at different times； and on divers
occasions； to do； which had a vast of influence among my brethren of the
presbytery； and they grew into a state of greater cordiality with me；
looking on me as a man having authority； but I was none thereat lifted up；
for not being gifted with the power of a kirk…filling eloquence； I was but
little sought for at sacraments； and fasts； and solemn days； which was
doubtless well ordained； for I had no motive to seek fame in foreign
pulpits； but was left to walk in the paths of simplicity within my own
parish。 To eschew evil myself； and to teach others to do the same； I
thought the main duties of the pastoral office； and with a sincere heart
endeavoured what in me lay to perform them with meekness； sobriety； and
a spirit wakeful to the inroads of sin and Satan。 But oh； the sordiness of
human nature！The kindness of the Lord Eaglesham's own disposition
was ascribed to my influence； and many a dry answer I was obliged to
give to applicants that would have me trouble his lordship； as if I had a
claim upon him。 In the ensuing year； the notion of my cordiality with
him came to a great head； and brought about an event； that could not have
been forethought by me as a thing within the compass of possibility to
bring to pass。
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CHAPTER XX YEAR 1779
I was named in this year for the General Assembly； and Mrs
Balwhidder； by her continual thrift； having made our purse able to stand a
shake against the wind； we resolved to go into Edinburgh in a creditable
manner。 Accordingly； in conjunct with Mrs Dalrymple； the lady of a
major of that name； we hired the Irville chaise； and we put up in Glasgow；
at the Black Boy； where we stayed all night。 Next morning； by seven
o'clock； we got into a fly…coach for the capital of Scotland； which we
reached after a heavy journey about the same hour in the evening； and put
up at the public where it stopped till the next day； for really both me and
Mrs Balwhidder