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staircase； into a clean little bulk…headed room； where he slowly deposited
himself on a sofa； with a stick on either hand of him； looking exceedingly
grim。
'Francis；' said Thomas Idle； 'what do you think of this place？'
'I think；' returned Mr。 Goodchild； in a glowing way； 'it is everything we
expected。'
'Hah！' said Thomas Idle。
'There is the sea；' cried Mr。 Goodchild； pointing out of window； 'and
here；' pointing to the lunch on the table； 'are shrimps。 Let us … ' here Mr。
Goodchild looked out of window； as if in search of something； and looked
in again； … 'let us eat 'em。'
The shrimps eaten and the dinner ordered； Mr。 Goodchild went out to
survey the watering…place。 As Chorus of the Drama； without whom
Thomas could make nothing of the scenery； he by…and…by returned； to
have the following report screwed out of him。
In brief； it was the most delightful place ever seen。
'But；' Thomas Idle asked； 'where is it？'
'It's what you may call generally up and down the beach； here and
there；' said Mr。 Goodchild； with a twist of his hand。
'Proceed；' said Thomas Idle。
It was； Mr。 Goodchild went on to say； in cross…examination； what you
might call a primitive place。 Large？ No； it was not large。 Who ever
expected it would be large？ Shape？ What a question to ask！ No
shape。 What sort of a street？ Why； no street。 Shops？ Yes； of course
（quite indignant）。 How many？ Who ever went into a place to count the
shops？ Ever so many。 Six？ Perhaps。 A library？ Why； of course
（indignant again）。 Good collection of books？ Most likely … couldn't say
… had seen nothing in it but a pair of scales。 Any reading…room？ Of
course； there was a reading… room。 Where？ Where！ why； over there。
Where was over there？ Why； THERE！ Let Mr。 Idle carry his eye to
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that bit of waste ground above high…water mark； where the rank grass and
loose stones were most in a litter； and he would see a sort of long； ruinous
brick loft； next door to a ruinous brick out…house； which loft had a ladder
outside； to get up by。 That was the reading…room； and if Mr。 Idle didn't
like the idea of a weaver's shuttle throbbing under a reading…room； that
was his look out。 HE was not to dictate； Mr。 Goodchild supposed
（indignant again）； to the company。
'By…the…by；' Thomas Idle observed； 'the company？'
Well！ （Mr。 Goodchild went on to report） very nice company。 Where
were they？ Why； there they were。 Mr。 Idle could see the tops of their
hats； he supposed。 What？ Those nine straw hats again； five gentlemen's
and four ladies'？ Yes； to be sure。 Mr。 Goodchild hoped the company
were not to be expected to wear helmets； to please Mr。 Idle。
Beginning to recover his temper at about this point； Mr。 Goodchild
voluntarily reported that if you wanted to be primitive； you could be
primitive here； and that if you wanted to be idle； you could be idle here。
In the course of some days； he added； that there were three fishing…boats；
but no rigging； and that there were plenty of fishermen who never fished。
That they got their living entirely by looking at the ocean。 What
nourishment they looked out of it to support their strength； he couldn't say；
but； he supposed it was some sort of Iodine。 The place was full of their
children； who were always upside down on the public buildings （two small
bridges over the brook）； and always hurting themselves or one another； so
that their wailings made more continual noise in the air than could have
been got in a busy place。 The houses people lodged in； were nowhere in
particular； and were in capital accordance with the beach； being all more
or less cracked and damaged as its shells were； and all empty … as its shells
were。 Among them； was an edifice of destitute appearance； with a
number of wall…eyed windows in it； looking desperately out to Scotland as
if for help； which said it was a Bazaar （and it ought to know）； and where
you might buy anything you wanted … supposing what you wanted； was a
little camp…stool or a child's wheelbarrow。 The brook crawled or stopped
between the houses and the sea； and the donkey was always running away；
and when he got into the brook he was pelted out with stones； which never
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hit him； and which always hit some of the children who were upside down
on the public buildings； and made their lamentations louder。 This donkey
was the public excitement of Allonby； and was probably supported at the
public expense。
The foregoing descriptions； delivered in separate items； on separate
days of adventurous discovery； Mr。 Goodchild severally wound up； by
looking out of window； looking in again； and saying； 'But there is the sea；
and here are the shrimps … let us eat 'em。'
There were fine sunsets at Allonby when the low flat beach； with its
pools of water and its dry patches； changed into long bars of silver and
gold in various states of burnishing； and there were fine views … on fine
days … of the Scottish coast。 But； when it rained at Allonby； Allonby
thrown back upon its ragged self； became a kind of place which the
donkey seemed to have found out； and to have his highly sagacious
reasons for wishing to bolt from。 Thomas Idle observed； too； that Mr。
Goodchild； with a noble show of disinterestedness； became every day
more ready to walk to Maryport and back； for letters； and suspicions
began to harbour in the mind of Thomas； that his friend deceived him； and
that Maryport was a preferable place。
Therefore； Thomas said to Francis on a day when they had looked at
the sea and eaten the shrimps； 'My mind misgives me； Goodchild； that you
go to Maryport； like the boy in the story…book； to ask IT to be idle with
you。'
'Judge； then；' returned Francis； adopting the style of the story… book；
'with what success。 I go to a region which is a bit of water…side Bristol；
with a slice of Wapping； a seasoning of Wolverhampton； and a garnish of
Portsmouth； and I say； 〃Will YOU come and be idle with me？〃 And it
answers； 〃No； for I am a great deal too vaporous； and a great deal too rusty；
and a great deal too muddy； and a great deal too dirty altogether； and I
have ships to load； and pitch and tar to boil； and iron to hammer； and
steam to get up； and smoke to make； and stone to quarry； and fifty other
disagreeable things to do； and I can't be idle with you。〃 Then I go into
jagged up…hill and down…hill streets； where I am in the pastrycook's shop
at one moment； and next moment in savage fastnesses of moor and morass；
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beyond the confines of civilisation； and I say to those murky and black…
dusty streets； 〃Will YOU come and be idle with me？〃 To which they
reply； 〃No； we can't； indeed； for we haven't the spirits； and we are startled
by the echo of your feet on the sharp pavement； and we have so many
goods in our shop… windows which nobody wants； and we have so much to
do for a limited public which never comes to us to be done for； that we are
altogether out of sorts and can't enjoy ourselves with any one。〃 So I go to
the Post…office； and knock at the shutter； and I say to the Post…master；
〃Will YOU come and be idle with me？〃 To which he rejoins； 〃No； I
really can't； for I live； as you may see； in such a very little Post…office； and
pass my life behind such a very little shutter； that my hand； when I put it
out； is as the hand of a giant crammed through the window of a dwarf's
house at a fair； and I am a mere Post…office anchorite in a cell much too
small for him； and I can't get out； and I can't get in；