按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
eagerly to buy； some purchased these paltry wreaths with their
lives； others by a toilsome servitude of years； and many sacrificed
whatever was most valuable； yet finally slunk away without the
crown。 There was a sort of stock or scrip； called Conscience； which
seemed to be in great demand； and would purchase almost anything。
Indeed； few rich commodities were to be obtained without paying a
heavy sum in this particular stock； and a man's business was seldom
very lucrative； unless he knew precisely when and how to throw his
hoard of Conscience into the market。 Yet as this stock was the only
thing of permanent value； whoever parted with it was sure to find
himself a loser； in the long run。 Several of the speculations were
of a questionable character。 Occasionally； a member of Congress
recruited his pocket by the sale of his constituents； and I was
assured that public officers have often sold their country at very
moderate prices。 Thousands sold their happiness for a whim。 Gilded
chains were in great demand； and purchased with almost any
sacrifice。 In truth； those who desired； according to the old adage； to
sell anything valuable for a song； might find customers all over the
Fair； and there were innumerable messes of pottage； piping hot； for
such as chose to buy them with their birthrights。 A few articles；
however； could not be found genuine at Vanity Fair。 If a customer
wished to renew his stock of youth； the dealers offered him a set of
false teeth and an auburn wig； if he demanded peace of mind； they
recommended opium or a brandy…bottle。
Tracts of land and golden mansions； situate in the Celestial
City； were often exchanged； at very disadvantageous rates； for a few
years' lease of small； dismal； inconvenient tenements in Vanity
Fair。 Prince Beelzebub himself took great interest in this sort of
traffic； and sometimes condescended to meddle with smaller matters。
I once had the pleasure to see him bargaining with a miser for his
soul； which； after much ingenious skirmishing on both sides； his
Highness succeeded in obtaining at about the value of sixpence。 The
Prince remarked； with a smile； that he was a loser by the transaction。
Day after day； as I walked the streets of Vanity； my manners and
deportment became more and more like those of the inhabitants。 The
place began to seem like home； the idea of pursuing my travels to
the Celestial City was almost obliterated from my mind。 I was reminded
of it； however； by the sight of the same pair of simple pilgrims at
whom we had laughed so heartily； when Apollyon puffed smoke and
steam into their faces； at the commencement of our journey。 There they
stood amid the densest bustle of Vanity… the dealers offering them
their purple； and fine linen； and jewels； the men of wit and humor
gibing at them； a pair of buxom ladies ogling them askance； while
the benevolent Mr。 Smooth…it…away whispered some of his wisdom at
their elbows； and pointed to a newly…erected temple… but there were
these worthy simpletons； making the scene look wild and monstrous；
merely by their sturdy repudiation of all part in its business or
pleasures。
One of them… his name was Stick…to…the…right… perceived in my face；
I suppose； a species of sympathy and almost admiration； which； to my
own great surprise； I could not help feeling for this pragmatic
couple。 It prompted him to address me。
〃Sir；〃 inquired he； with a sad； yet mild and kindly voice； 〃do
you call yourself a pilgrim？〃
〃Yes；〃 I replied； 〃my right to that appellation is indubitable。 I
am merely a sojourner here in Vanity Fair； being bound to the
Celestial City by the new railroad。〃
〃Alas； friend；〃 rejoined Mr。 Stick…to…the…right； 〃I do assure
you； and beseech you to receive the truth of my words； that that whole
concern is a bubble。 You may travel on it all your lifetime； were
you to live thousands of years； and yet never get beyond the limits of
Vanity Fair！ Yea； though you should deem yourself entering the gates
of the Blessed City； it will be nothing but a miserable delusion。〃
〃The Lord of the Celestial City；〃 began the other pilgrim； whose
name was Mr。 Foot…it…to…Heaven； 〃has refused； and will ever refuse； to
grant an act of incorporation for this railroad； and unless that be
obtained； no passenger can ever hope to enter his dominions。
Wherefore； every man； who buys a ticket； must lay his account with
losing the purchase…money… which is the value of his own soul。〃
〃Poh； nonsense！〃 said Mr。 Smooth…it…away； taking my arm and leading
me off； 〃these fellows ought to be indicted for a libel。 If the law
stood as it once did in Vanity Fair； we should see them grinning
through the iron bars of the prison window。〃
This incident made a considerable impression on my mind； and
contributed with other circumstances to indispose me to a permanent
residence in the city of Vanity； although； of course； I was not simple
enough to give up my original plan of gliding along easily and
commodiously by railroad。 Still； I grew anxious to be gone。 There
was one strange thing that troubled me； amid the occupations or
amusements of the Fair； nothing was more common than for a person…
whether at a feast； theatre； or church； or trafficking for wealth
and honors； or whatever he might be doing； and however unseasonable
the interruption… suddenly to vanish like a soap…bubble； and be
never more seen of his fellows； and so accustomed were the latter to
such little accidents； that they went on with their business； as
quietly as if nothing had happened。 But it was otherwise with me。
Finally； after a pretty long residence at the Fair； I resumed my
journey towards the Celestial City； still with Mr。 Smooth…it…away at
my side。 At a short distance beyond the suburbs of Vanity； we passed
the ancient silver mine； of which Demas was the first discoverer；
and which is now wrought to great advantage； supplying nearly all
the coined currency of the world。 A little further onward was the spot
where Lot's wife had stood for ages； under the semblance of a pillar
of salt。 Curious travellers have long since carried it away piecemeal。
Had all regrets been punished as rigorously as this poor dame's
were； my yearning for the relinquished delights of Vanity Fair might
have produced a similar change in my own corporeal substance； and left
me a warning to future pilgrims。
The next remarkable object was a large edifice； constructed of
moss…grown stone； but in a modern and airy style of architecture。
The engine came to a pause in its vicinity with the usual tremendous
shriek。
〃This was formerly the castle of the redoubted giant Despair；〃
observed Mr。 Smooth…it…away； 〃but； since his death； Mr。 Flimsy…faith
has repaired it； and now keeps an excellent house of entertainment
here。 It is one of our stopping…places。〃
〃It seems but slightly put together；〃 remarked I； looking at the
frail； yet ponderous walls。 〃I do not envy Mr。 Flimsy…faith his
habitation。 Some day it will thunder down upon the heads of the
occupants。〃
〃We shall escape； at all events；〃 said Mr。 Smooth…it…away； 〃for
Apollyon is putting on the steam again。〃
The road now plunged into a gorge of the Delectable Mountains；
and traversed the field where； in former ages； the blind men
wandered and stumbled among the tombs。 One of these ancient
tomb…stones had been thrust across the track； by some malicious
person； and gave the train of cars a terrible jolt。 Far up the
rugged side of a mountain； I perceived a rusty iron door； half
overgrown with bushes and creeping plants； but with smoke issuing from
its crevices。
〃Is that；〃 inquired I； 〃the very door in the hill…side； which the
shepherds assured Christian was a by…way to Hell？〃
〃That was a joke on the part of the shepherds；〃 said Mr。
Smooth…it…away； with a smile。 〃It is neither more nor less than the
door of a cavern； which they use as a smoke…house for the
preparation of mutton hams。〃
My recollections of the journey are now； for a little space； dim
and confused； inasmuch as a singular drowsiness here overcame me；
owing to the fact that we were passing over the Enchanted Ground；
the air of which encourages a disposition to sleep。 I awoke；
however； as soon as we crossed the borders of the pleasant land of
Beulah。 All the passengers were rubbing their eyes； comparing watches；
and con…gratulating one another on the prospect of arriving so
seasonably at the journey's end。 The sweet breezes of this happy clime
came refreshingly to our nostrils； we beheld the glimmering gush of
silver fountains； overhung by trees of beautiful foliage and delicious
fruit； which were propagated by grafts from the celestial gardens。
Once； as we dashed onward like a hurricane； there was a flutter of
wings； and the bright appearance of an angel in the air； speeding
forth on some heavenly mission。 The engine now announced the close
vicinity of the final Station…house； by one last and horrible
scream； in which there seemed to be distinguishable every kind of
wailing and wo； and bitter fierceness of wrath； all mixed up with
t