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But beyond that I could not go； and； perforce； was compelled to lie
awake and think and think。 And that way； for an active…brained man；
lay madness。
I sought devices to enable me mechanically to abide my waking hours。
I squared and cubed long series of numbers； and by concentration and
will carried on most astonishing geometric progressions。 I even
dallied with the squaring of the circle 。 。 。 until I found myself
beginning to believe that that possibility could be accomplished。
Whereupon； realizing that there； too； lay madness； I forwent the
squaring of the circle； although I assure you it required a
considerable sacrifice on my part； for the mental exercise involved
was a splendid time…killer。
By sheer visualization under my eyelids I constructed chess…boards
and played both sides of long games through to checkmate。 But when
I had become expert at this visualized game of memory the exercise
palled on me。 Exercise it was； for there could be no real contest
when the same player played both sides。 I tried； and tried vainly；
to split my personality into two personalities and to pit one
against the other。 But ever I remained the one player； with no
planned ruse or strategy on one side that the other side did not
immediately apprehend。
And time was very heavy and very long。 I played games with flies；
with ordinary houseflies that oozed into solitary as did the dim
gray light； and learned that they possessed a sense of play。 For
instance； lying on the cell floor； I established an arbitrary and
imaginary line along the wall some three feet above the floor。 When
they rested on the wall above this line they were left in peace。
The instant they lighted on the wall below the line I tried to catch
them。 I was careful never to hurt them； and； in time； they knew as
precisely as did I where ran the imaginary line。 When they desired
to play； they lighted below the line； and often for an hour at a
time a single fly would engage in the sport。 When it grew tired； it
would come to rest on the safe territory above。
Of the dozen or more flies that lived with me； there was only one
who did not care for the game。 He refused steadfastly to play； and；
having learned the penalty of alighting below the line； very
carefully avoided the unsafe territory。 That fly was a sullen；
disgruntled creature。 As the convicts would say； it had a 〃grouch〃
against the world。 He never played with the other flies either。 He
was strong and healthy； too； for I studied him long to find out。
His indisposition for play was temperamental； not physical。
Believe me； I knew all my flies。 It was surprising to me the
multitude of differences I distinguished between them。 Oh； each was
distinctly an individualnot merely in size and markings； strength；
and speed of flight； and in the manner and fancy of flight and play；
of dodge and dart； of wheel and swiftly repeat or wheel and reverse；
of touch and go on the danger wall； or of feint the touch and alight
elsewhere within the zone。 They were likewise sharply
differentiated in the minutest shades of mentality and temperament。
I knew the nervous ones； the phlegmatic ones。 There was a little
undersized one that would fly into real rages； sometimes with me；
sometimes with its fellows。 Have you ever seen a colt or a calf
throw up its heels and dash madly about the pasture from sheer
excess of vitality and spirits？ Well； there was one flythe
keenest player of them all； by the waywho； when it had alighted
three or four times in rapid succession on my taboo wall and
succeeded each time in eluding the velvet…careful swoop of my hand；
would grow so excited and jubilant that it would dart around and
around my head at top speed； wheeling； veering； reversing； and
always keeping within the limits of the narrow circle in which it
celebrated its triumph over me。
Why； I could tell well in advance when any particular fly was making
up its mind to begin to play。 There are a thousand details in this
one matter alone that I shall not bore you with； although these
details did serve to keep me from being bored too utterly during
that first period in solitary。 But one thing I must tell you。 To
me it is most memorablethe time when the one with a grouch； who
never played； alighted in a moment of absent…mindedness within the
taboo precinct and was immediately captured in my hand。 Do you
know； he sulked for an hour afterward。
And the hours were very long in solitary； nor could I sleep them all
away； nor could I while them away with house…flies； no matter how
intelligent。 For house…flies are house…flies； and I was a man； with
a man's brain； and my brain was trained and active； stuffed with
culture and science； and always geared to a high tension of
eagerness to do。 And there was nothing to do； and my thoughts ran
abominably on in vain speculations。 There was my pentose and
methyl…pentose determination in grapes and wines to which I had
devoted my last summer vacation at the Asti Vineyards。 I had all
but completed the series of experiments。 Was anybody else going on
with it； I wondered； and if so； with what success？
You see； the world was dead to me。 No news of it filtered in。 The
history of science was making fast； and I was interested in a
thousand subjects。 Why； there was my theory of the hydrolysis of
casein by trypsin； which Professor Walters had been carrying out in
his laboratory。 Also； Professor Schleimer had similarly been
collaborating with me in the detection of phytosterol in mixtures of
animal and vegetable fats。 The work surely was going on； but with
what results？ The very thought of all this activity just beyond the
prison walls and in which I could take no part； of which I was never
even to hear； was maddening。 And in the meantime I lay there on my
cell floor and played games with house…flies。
And yet all was not silence in solitary。 Early in my confinement I
used to hear； at irregular intervals； faint； low tappings。 From
farther away I also heard fainter and lower tappings。 Continually
these tappings were interrupted by the snarling of the guard。 On
occasion； when the tapping went on too persistently； extra guards
were summoned； and I knew by the sounds that men were being strait…
jacketed。
The matter was easy of explanation。 I had known； as every prisoner
in San Quentin knew； that the two men in solitary were Ed Morrell
and Jake Oppenheimer。 And I knew that these were the two men who
tapped knuckle…talk to each other and were punished for so doing。
That the code they used was simple I had not the slightest doubt；
yet I devoted many hours to a vain effort to work it out。 Heaven
knowsit had to be simple； yet I could not make head nor tail of
it。 And simple it proved to be； when I learned it； and simplest of
all proved the trick they employed which had so baffled me。 Not
only each day did they change the point in the alphabet where the
code initialled； but they changed it every conversation； and； often；
in the midst of a conversation。
Thus； there came a day when I caught the code at the right initial；
listened to two clear sentences of conversation； and； the next time
they talked； failed to understand a word。 But that first time！
〃SayEdwhatwould yougiverightnowforbrownpapers
andasackofBullDurham！〃 asked the one who tapped from
farther away。
I nearly cried out in my joy。 Here was communication！ Here was
companionship！ I listened eagerly； and the nearer tapping； which I
guessed must be Ed Morrell's； replied：
〃Iwoulddotwentyhoursstraitinthejacketforafive…
…centsack〃
Then came the snarling interruption of the guard： 〃Cut that out；
Morrell！〃
It may be thought by the layman that the worst has been done to men
sentenced to solitary for life； and therefore that a mere guard has
no way of compelling obedience to his order to cease tapping。
But the jacket remains。 Starvation remains。 Thirst remains。 Man…
handling remains。 Truly； a man pent in a narrow cell is very
helpless。
So the tapping ceased； and that night； when it was next resumed； I
was all at sea again。 By pre…arrangement they had changed the
initial letter of the code。 But I had caught the clue； and； in the
matter of several days； occurred again the same initialment I had
understood。 I did not wait on courtesy。
〃Hello；〃 I tapped
〃Hello； stranger；〃 Morrell tapped back； and； from Oppenheimer；
〃Welcome to our city。〃
They were curious to know who I was； how long I was condemned to
solitary； and why I had been so condemned。 But all this I put to
the side in order first to learn their system of changing the code
initial。 After I had this clear； we talked。 It was a great day；
for the two lifers had become three； although they accepted me only
on probation。 As they told me long after； they feared I might be a
stool placed there to work a fra