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battered all anew by the violence with which the water smote us；
until we stood knee…deep in the water which we had raved for and for
which now we raved to cease。
I shall skip the rest of what happened in the dungeons。 In passing
I shall merely state that no one of those forty lifers was ever the
same again。 Luigi Polazzo never recovered his reason。 Long Bill
Hodge slowly lost his sanity； so that a year later； he； too； went to
live in Bughouse Alley。 Oh； and others followed Hodge and Polazzo；
and others； whose physical stamina had been impaired； fell victims
to prison…tuberculosis。 Fully 25 per cent。 of the forty have died
in the succeeding six years。
After my five years in solitary； when they took me away from San
Quentin for my trial； I saw Skysail Jack。 I could see little； for I
was blinking in the sunshine like a bat； after five years of
darkness； yet I saw enough of Skysail Jack to pain my heart。 It was
in crossing the Prison Yard that I saw him。 His hair had turned
white。 He was prematurely old。 His chest had caved in。 His cheeks
were sunken。 His hands shook as with palsy。 He tottered as he
walked。 And his eyes blurred with tears as he recognized me； for I；
too； was a sad wreck of what had once been a man。 I weighed eighty…
seven pounds。 My hair； streaked with gray； was a five…years'
growth； as were my beard and moustache。 And I； too； tottered as I
walked； so that the guards helped to lead me across that sun…
blinding patch of yard。 And Skysail Jack and I peered and knew each
other under the wreckage。
Men such as he are privileged； even in a prison； so that he dared an
infraction of the rules by speaking to me in a cracked and quavering
voice。
〃You're a good one； Standing；〃 he cackled。 〃You never squealed。〃
〃But I never knew； Jack；〃 I whispered backI was compelled to
whisper； for five years of disuse had well…nigh lost me my voice。
〃I don't think there ever was any dynamite。〃
〃That's right；〃 he cackled； nodding his head childishly。 〃Stick
with it。 Don't ever let'm know。 You're a good one。 I take my hat
off to you； Standing。 You never squealed。〃
And the guards led me on； and that was the last I saw of Skysail
Jack。 It was plain that even he had become a believer in the
dynamite myth。
Twice they had me before the full Board of Directors。 I was
alternately bullied and cajoled。 Their attitude resolved itself
into two propositions。 If I delivered up the dynamite； they would
give me a nominal punishment of thirty days in the dungeon and then
make me a trusty in the prison library。 If I persisted in my
stubbornness and did not yield up the dynamite； then they would put
me in solitary for the rest of my sentence。 In my case； being a
life prisoner； this was tantamount to condemning me to solitary
confinement for life。
Oh； no； California is civilized。 There is no such law on the
statute books。 It is a cruel and unusual punishment； and no modern
state would be guilty of such a law。 Nevertheless； in the history
of California I am the third man who has been condemned for life to
solitary confinement。 The other two were Jake Oppenheimer and Ed
Morrell。 I shall tell you about them soon； for I rotted with them
for years in the cells of silence。
Oh； another thing。 They are going to take me out and hang me in a
little whileno； not for killing Professor Haskell。 I got life…
imprisonment for that。 They are going to take me out and hang me
because I was found guilty of assault and battery。 And this is not
prison discipline。 It is law； and as law it will be found in the
criminal statutes。
I believe I made a man's nose bleed。 I never saw it bleed； but that
was the evidence。 Thurston； his name was。 He was a guard at San
Quentin。 He weighed one hundred and seventy pounds and was in good
health。 I weighed under ninety pounds； was blind as a bat from the
long darkness； and had been so long pent in narrow walls that I was
made dizzy by large open spaces。 Really； mime was a well…defined
case of incipient agoraphobia； as I quickly learned that day I
escaped from solitary and punched the guard Thurston on the nose。
I struck him on the nose and made it bleed when he got in my way and
tried to catch hold of me。 And so they are going to hang me。 It is
the written law of the State of California that a life…timer like me
is guilty of a capital crime when he strikes a prison guard like
Thurston。 Surely； he could not have been inconvenienced more than
half an hour by that bleeding nose； and yet they are going to hang
me for it。
And； see！ This law； in my case； is EX POST FACTO。 It was not a law
at the time I killed Professor Haskell。 It was not passed until
after I received my life…sentence。 And this is the very point： my
life…sentence gave me my status under this law which had not yet
been written on the books。 And it is because of my status of life…
timer that I am to be hanged for battery committed on the guard
Thurston。 It is clearly EX POST FACTO； and； therefore；
unconstitutional。
But what bearing has the Constitution on constitutional lawyers when
they want to put the notorious Professor Darrell Standing out of the
way？ Nor do I even establish the precedent with my execution。 A
year ago； as everybody who reads the newspapers knows； they hanged
Jake Oppenheimer； right here in Folsom； for a precisely similar
offence 。 。 。 only； in his case of battery； he was not guilty of
making a guard's nose bleed。 He cut a convict unintentionally with
a bread…knife。
It is strangelife and men's ways and laws and tangled paths。 I am
writing these lines in the very cell in Murderers' Row that Jake
Oppenheimer occupied ere they took him out and did to him what they
are going to do to me。
I warned you I had many things to write about。 I shall now return
to my narrative。 The Board of Prison Directors gave me my choice：
a prison trustyship and surcease from the jute…looms if I gave up
the non…existent dynamite； life imprisonment in solitary if I
refused to give up the non…existent dynamite。
They gave me twenty…four hours in the jacket to think it over。 Then
I was brought before the Board a second time。 What could I do？ I
could not lead them to the dynamite that was not。 I told them so；
and they told me I was a liar。 They told me I was a hard case； a
dangerous man； a moral degenerate； the criminal of the century。
They told me many other things； and then they carried me away to the
solitary cells。 I was put into Number One cell。 In Number Five lay
Ed Morrell。 In Number Twelve lay Jake Oppenheimer。 And he had been
there for ten years。 Ed Morrell had been in his cell only one year。
He was serving a fifty…years' sentence。 Jake Oppenheimer was a
lifer。 And so was I a lifer。 Wherefore the outlook was that the
three of us would remain there for a long time。 And yet； six years
only are past； and not one of us is in solitary。 Jake Oppenheimer
was swung off。 Ed Morrell was made head trusty of San Quentin and
then pardoned out only the other day。 And here I am in Folsom
waiting the day duly set by Judge Morgan； which will be my last day。
The fools！ As if they could throttle my immortality with their
clumsy device of rope and scaffold！ I shall walk； and walk again；
oh； countless times； this fair earth。 And I shall walk in the
flesh； be prince and peasant； savant and fool； sit in the high place
and groan under the wheel。
CHAPTER V
It was very lonely； at first； in solitary； and the hours were long。
Time was marked by the regular changing of the guards； and by the
alternation of day and night。 Day was only a little light； but it
was better than the all…dark of the night。 In solitary the day was
an ooze； a slimy seepage of light from the bright outer world。
Never was the light strong enough to read by。 Besides； there was
nothing to read。 One could only lie and think and think。 And I was
a lifer； and it seemed certain； if I did not do a miracle； make
thirty…five pounds of dynamite out of nothing； that all the years of
my life would be spent in the silent dark。
My bed was a thin and rotten tick of straw spread on the cell floor。
One thin and filthy blanket constituted the covering。 There was no
chair； no tablenothing but the tick of straw and the thin； aged
blanket。 I was ever a short sleeper and ever a busy…brained man。
In solitary one grows sick of oneself in his thoughts； and the only
way to escape oneself is to sleep。 For years I had averaged five
hours' sleep a night。 I now cultivated sleep。 I made a science of
it。 I became able to sleep ten hours； then twelve hours； and； at
last； as high as fourteen and fifteen hours out of the twenty…four。
But beyond that I could not go； and； perforce； was compelled to lie
awake and think and think。 And that way； for an active…brained man；
lay m