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secured a listener。 He broke a glass or two in the course of the meal； and
disappeared shortly afterwards； it is inferred that he went away in some
confusion； inasmuch as he left the house in another gentleman's coat； and
the footman's hat。
This little incident led us to reflect upon the most prominent
characteristics of bashful young gentlemen in the abstract； and as this
portable volume will be the great text…book of young ladies in all future
generations； we record them here for their guidance and behoof。
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If the bashful young gentleman； in turning a street corner； chance to
stumble suddenly upon two or three young ladies of his acquaintance；
nothing can exceed his confusion and agitation。 His first impulse is to
make a great variety of bows； and dart past them； which he does until；
observing that they wish to stop； but are uncertain whether to do so or not；
he makes several feints of returning； which causes them to do the same；
and at length； after a great quantity of unnecessary dodging and falling up
against the other passengers； he returns and shakes hands most
affectionately with all of them； in doing which he knocks out of their grasp
sundry little parcels； which he hastily picks up； and returns very muddy
and disordered。 The chances are that the bashful young gentleman then
observes it is very fine weather； and being reminded that it has only just
left off raining for the first time these three days； he blushes very much；
and smiles as if he had said a very good thing。 The young lady who was
most anxious to speak； here inquires； with an air of great commiseration；
how his dear sister Harriet is to…day； to which the young gentleman；
without the slightest consideration； replies with many thanks； that she is
remarkably well。 'Well； Mr。 Hopkins！' cries the young lady； 'why； we
heard she was bled yesterday evening； and have been perfectly miserable
about her。' 'Oh； ah；' says the young gentleman； 'so she was。 Oh； she's
very ill； very ill indeed。' The young gentleman then shakes his head； and
looks very desponding （he has been smiling perpetually up to this time）；
and after a short pause； gives his glove a great wrench at the wrist； and
says； with a strong emphasis on the adjective； 'GOOD morning； GOOD
morning。' And making a great number of bows in acknowledgment of
several little messages to his sister； walks backward a few paces； and
comes with great violence against a lamp…post； knocking his hat off in the
contact； which in his mental confusion and bodily pain he is going to walk
away without； until a great roar from a carter attracts his attention； when
he picks it up； and tries to smile cheerfully to the young ladies； who are
looking back； and who； he has the satisfaction of seeing； are all laughing
heartily。
At a quadrille party； the bashful young gentleman always remains as
near the entrance of the room as possible； from which position he smiles at
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
the people he knows as they come in； and sometimes steps forward to
shake hands with more intimate friends： a process which on each
repetition seems to turn him a deeper scarlet than before。 He declines
dancing the first set or two； observing； in a faint voice； that he would
rather wait a little； but at length is absolutely compelled to allow himself
to be introduced to a partner； when he is led； in a great heat and blushing
furiously； across the room to a spot where half…a…dozen unknown ladies
are congregated together。
'Miss Lambert； let me introduce Mr。 Hopkins for the next quadrille。'
Miss Lambert inclines her head graciously。 Mr。 Hopkins bows； and his
fair conductress disappears； leaving Mr。 Hopkins； as he too well knows； to
make himself agreeable。 The young lady more than half expects that the
bashful young gentleman will say something； and the bashful young
gentleman feeling this； seriously thinks whether he has got anything to say；
which； upon mature reflection； he is rather disposed to conclude he has not；
since nothing occurs to him。 Meanwhile； the young lady； after several
inspections of her BOUQUET； all made in the expectation that the bashful
young gentleman is going to talk； whispers her mamma； who is sitting
next her； which whisper the bashful young gentleman immediately
suspects （and possibly with very good reason） must be about HIM。 In
this comfortable condition he remains until it is time to 'stand up；' when
murmuring a 'Will you allow me？' he gives the young lady his arm； and
after inquiring where she will stand； and receiving a reply that she has no
choice； conducts her to the remotest corner of the quadrille； and making
one attempt at conversation； which turns out a desperate failure； preserves
a profound silence until it is all over； when he walks her twice round the
room； deposits her in her old seat； and retires in confusion。
A married bashful gentleman … for these bashful gentlemen do get
married sometimes； how it is ever brought about； is a mystery to us … a
married bashful gentleman either causes his wife to appear bold by
contrast； or merges her proper importance in his own insignificance。
Bashful young gentlemen should be cured； or avoided。 They are never
hopeless； and never will be； while female beauty and attractions retain
their influence； as any young lady will find； who may think it worth while
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on this confident assurance to take a patient in hand。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THE OUT…AND…OUT YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
Out…and…out young gentlemen may be divided into two classes … those
who have something to do； and those who have nothing。 I shall
commence with the former； because that species come more frequently
under the notice of young ladies； whom it is our province to warn and to
instruct。
The out…and…out young gentleman is usually no great dresser； his
instructions to his tailor being all comprehended in the one general
direction to 'make that what's…a…name a regular bang…up sort of thing。'
For some years past； the favourite costume of the out…and…out young
gentleman has been a rough pilot coat； with two gilt hooks and eyes to the
velvet collar； buttons somewhat larger than crown…pieces； a black or fancy
neckerchief； loosely tied； a wide…brimmed hat； with a low crown； tightish
inexpressibles； and iron…shod boots。 Out of doors he sometimes carries a
large ash stick； but only on special occasions； for he prefers keeping his
hands in his coat pockets。 He smokes at all hours； of course； and swears
considerably。
The out…and…out young gentleman is employed in a city counting…
house or solicitor's office； in which he does as little as he possibly can：
his chief places of resort are； the streets； the taverns； and the theatres。 In
the streets at evening time； out… and…out young gentlemen have a pleasant
custom of walking six or eight abreast； thus driving females and other
inoffensive persons into the road； which never fails to afford them the
highest satisfaction； especially if there be any immediate danger of their
being run over； which enhances the fun of the thing materially。 In all
places of public resort； the out…and…outers are careful to select each a seat
to himself； upon which he lies at full length； and （if the weather be very
dirty； but not in any other case） he lies with his knees up； and the soles of
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