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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
SKETCHES OF YOUNG
GENTLEMEN
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
TO THE YOUNG LADIES OF THE UNITED KINGDOM OF
GREAT BRITAIN AND IRELAND； ALSO THE YOUNG LADIES OF
THE PRINCIPALITY OF WALES； AND LIKEWISE THE YOUNG
LADIES RESIDENT IN THE ISLES OF GUERNSEY； JERSEY；
ALDERNEY； AND SARK； THE HUMBLE DEDICATION OF THEIR
DEVOTED ADMIRER；
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
SHEWETH； …
THAT your Dedicator has perused； with feelings of virtuous
indignation； a work purporting to be 'Sketches of Young Ladies；' written
by Quiz； illustrated by Phiz； and published in one volume； square
twelvemo。
THAT after an attentive and vigilant perusal of the said work； your
Dedicator is humbly of opinion that so many libels； upon your Honourable
sex； were never contained in any previously published work； in twelvemo
or any other mo。
THAT in the title page and preface to the said work； your Honourable
sex are described and classified as animals； and although your Dedicator is
not at present prepared to deny that you ARE animals； still he humbly
submits that it is not polite to call you so。
THAT in the aforesaid preface； your Honourable sex are also described
as Troglodites； which； being a hard word； may； for aught your Honourable
sex or your Dedicator can say to the contrary； be an injurious and
disrespectful appellation。
THAT the author of the said work applied himself to his task in malice
prepense and with wickedness aforethought； a fact which； your Dedicator
contends； is sufficiently demonstrated； by his assuming the name of Quiz；
which； your Dedicator submits； denotes a foregone conclusion； and
implies an intention of quizzing。
THAT in the execution of his evil design； the said Quiz； or author of
the said work； must have betrayed some trust or confidence reposed in him
by some members of your Honourable sex； otherwise he never could have
acquired so much information relative to the manners and customs of your
Honourable sex in general。
THAT actuated by these considerations； and further moved by various
slanders and insinuations respecting your Honourable sex contained in the
said work； square twelvemo； entitled 'Sketches of Young Ladies；' your
Dedicator ventures to produce another work； square twelvemo； entitled
'Sketches of Young Gentlemen；' of which he now solicits your acceptance
and approval。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THAT as the Young Ladies are the best companions of the Young
Gentlemen； so the Young Gentlemen should be the best companions of the
Young Ladies； and extending the comparison from animals （to quote the
disrespectful language of the said Quiz） to inanimate objects； your
Dedicator humbly suggests； that such of your Honourable sex as
purchased the bane should possess themselves of the antidote； and that
those of your Honourable sex who were not rash enough to take the first；
should lose no time in swallowing the last； …prevention being in all cases
better than cure； as we are informed upon the authority； not only of general
acknowledgment； but also of traditionary wisdom。
THAT with reference to the said bane and antidote； your Dedicator has
no further remarks to make； than are comprised in the printed directions
issued with Doctor Morison's pills； namely； that whenever your
Honourable sex take twenty…five of Number； 1； you will be pleased to take
fifty of Number 2； without delay。
And your Dedicator shall ever pray； &c。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THE BASHFUL YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
We found ourself seated at a small dinner party the other day； opposite
a stranger of such singular appearance and manner； that he irresistibly
attracted our attention。
This was a fresh…coloured young gentleman； with as good a promise of
light whisker as one might wish to see； and possessed of a very velvet…like；
soft…looking countenance。 We do not use the latter term invidiously； but
merely to denote a pair of smooth； plump； highly…coloured cheeks of
capacious dimensions； and a mouth rather remarkable for the fresh hue of
the lips than for any marked or striking expression it presented。 His
whole face was suffused with a crimson blush； and bore that downcast；
timid； retiring look； which betokens a man ill at ease with himself。
There was nothing in these symptoms to attract more than a passing
remark； but our attention had been originally drawn to the bashful young
gentleman； on his first appearance in the drawing…room above… stairs； into
which he was no sooner introduced； than making his way towards us who
were standing in a window； and wholly neglecting several persons who
warmly accosted him； he seized our hand with visible emotion； and
pressed it with a convulsive grasp for a good couple of minutes； after
which he dived in a nervous manner across the room； oversetting in his
way a fine little girl of six years and a quarter old … and shrouding himself
behind some hangings； was seen no more； until the eagle eye of the
hostess detecting him in his concealment； on the announcement of dinner；
he was requested to pair off with a lively single lady； of two or three and
thirty。
This most flattering salutation from a perfect stranger； would have
gratified us not a little as a token of his having held us in high respect； and
for that reason been desirous of our acquaintance； if we had not suspected
from the first； that the young gentleman； in making a desperate effort to
get through the ceremony of introduction； had； in the bewilderment of his
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
ideas； shaken hands with us at random。 This impression was fully
confirmed by the subsequent behaviour of the bashful young gentleman in
question； which we noted particularly； with the view of ascertaining
whether we were right in our conjecture。
The young gentleman seated himself at table with evident misgivings；
and turning sharp round to pay attention to some observation of his
loquacious neighbour； overset his bread。 There was nothing very bad in
this； and if he had had the presence of mind to let it go； and say nothing
about it； nobody but the man who had laid the cloth would have been a bit
the wiser； but the young gentleman in various semi…successful attempts to
prevent its fall； played with it a little； as gentlemen in the streets may be
seen to do with their hats on a windy day； and then giving the roll a smart
rap in his anxiety to catch it； knocked it with great adroitness into a tureen
of white soup at some distance； to the unspeakable terror and disturbance
of a very amiable bald gentleman； who was dispensing the contents。 We
thought the bashful young gentleman would have gone off in an apoplectic
fit； consequent upon the violent rush of blood to his face at the occurrence
of this catastrophe。
From this moment we perceived； in the phraseology of the fancy； that
it was 'all up' with the bashful young gentleman； and so indeed it was。
Several benevolent persons endeavoured to relieve his embarrassment by
taking wine with him； but finding that it only augmented his sufferings；
and that after mingling sherry； champagne； hock； and moselle together； he
applied the greater part of the mixture externally； instead of internally； they
gradually dropped off； and left him to the exclusive care of the talkative
lady； who； not noting the wildness of his eye； firmly believed she had
secured a listener。 He broke a glass or two in the course of the meal； and
disappeare