按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
apprehension lest it should begin to rain before we set out； it might have
rained all day； after we were once too far to turn back again； and welcome；
for aught they cared。
However； the cavalcade moved at length； every coachman being
accommodated with a hamper between his legs something larger than a
wheelbarrow； and the company being packed as closely as they possibly
could in the carriages； 'according；' as one married lady observed； 'to the
immemorial custom； which was half the diversion of gipsy parties。'
Thinking it very likely it might be （we have never been able to discover
the other half）； we submitted to be stowed away with a cheerful aspect；
and were fortunate enough to occupy one corner of a coach in which were
one old lady； four young ladies； and the renowned Mr。 Balim the young
ladies' young gentleman。
We were no sooner fairly off； than the young ladies' young gentleman
hummed a fragment of an air； which induced a young lady to inquire
whether he had danced to that the night before。 'By Heaven； then； I did；'
replied the young gentleman； 'and with a lovely heiress； a superb creature；
with twenty thousand pounds。' 'You seem rather struck；' observed another
young lady。 ''Gad she was a sweet creature；' returned the young
gentleman； arranging his hair。 'Of course SHE was struck too？' inquired
the first young lady。 'How can you ask； love？' interposed the second；
'could she fail to be？' 'Well； honestly I think she was；' observed the
young gentleman。 At this point of the dialogue； the young lady who had
spoken first； and who sat on the young gentleman's right； struck him a
severe blow on the arm with a rosebud； and said he was a vain man …
51
… Page 52…
SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
whereupon the young gentleman insisted on having the rosebud； and the
young lady appealing for help to the other young ladies； a charming
struggle ensued； terminating in the victory of the young gentleman； and
the capture of the rosebud。 This little skirmish over； the married lady；
who was the mother of the rosebud； smiled sweetly upon the young
gentleman； and accused him of being a flirt； the young gentleman pleading
not guilty； a most interesting discussion took place upon the important
point whether the young gentleman was a flirt or not； which being an
agreeable conversation of a light kind； lasted a considerable time。 At
length； a short silence occurring； the young ladies on either side of the
young gentleman fell suddenly fast asleep； and the young gentleman；
winking upon us to preserve silence； won a pair of gloves from each；
thereby causing them to wake with equal suddenness and to scream very
loud。 The lively conversation to which this pleasantry gave rise； lasted
for the remainder of the ride； and would have eked out a much longer one。
We dined rather more comfortably than people usually do under such
circumstances； nothing having been left behind but the cork…screw and the
bread。 The married gentlemen were unusually thirsty； which they
attributed to the heat of the weather； the little boys ate to inconvenience；
mammas were very jovial； and their daughters very fascinating； and the
attendants being well…behaved men； got exceedingly drunk at a respectful
distance。
We had our eye on Mr。 Balim at dinner…time； and perceived that he
flourished wonderfully； being still surrounded by a little group of young
ladies； who listened to him as an oracle； while he ate from their plates and
drank from their glasses in a manner truly captivating from its excessive
playfulness。 His conversation； too； was exceedingly brilliant。 In fact；
one elderly lady assured us； that in the course of a little lively
BADINAGE on the subject of ladies' dresses； he had evinced as much
knowledge as if he had been born and bred a milliner。
As such of the fat people who did not happen to fall asleep after dinner
entered upon a most vigorous game at ball； we slipped away alone into a
thicker part of the wood； hoping to fall in with Mr。 Balim； the greater part
of the young people having dropped off in twos and threes and the young
52
… Page 53…
SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
ladies' young gentleman among them。 Nor were we disappointed； for we
had not walked far； when； peeping through the trees； we discovered him
before us； and truly it was a pleasant thing to contemplate his greatness。
The young ladies' young gentleman was seated upon the ground； at the
feet of a few young ladies who were reclining on a bank； he was so
profusely decked with scarfs； ribands； flowers； and other pretty spoils； that
he looked like a lamb … or perhaps a calf would be a better simile … adorned
for the sacrifice。 One young lady supported a parasol over his interesting
head； another held his hat； and a third his neck…cloth； which in romantic
fashion he had thrown off； the young gentleman himself； with his hand
upon his breast； and his face moulded into an expression of the most
honeyed sweetness； was warbling forth some choice specimens of vocal
music in praise of female loveliness； in a style so exquisitely perfect； that
we burst into an involuntary shout of laughter； and made a hasty retreat。
What charming fellows these young ladies' young gentlemen are！
Ducks； dears； loves； angels； are all terms inadequate to express their merit。
They are such amazingly； uncommonly； wonderfully； nice men。
53
… Page 54…
SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
CONCLUSION
As we have placed before the young ladies so many specimens of
young gentlemen； and have also in the dedication of this volume given
them to understand how much we reverence and admire their numerous
virtues and perfections； as we have given them such strong reasons to treat
us with confidence； and to banish； in our case； all that reserve and distrust
of the male sex which； as a point of general behaviour； they cannot do
better than preserve and maintain … we say； as we have done all this； we
feel that now； when we have arrived at the close of our task； they may
naturally press upon us the inquiry； what particular description of young
gentlemen we can conscientiously recommend。
Here we are at a loss。 We look over our list； and can neither
recommend the bashful young gentleman； nor the out…and…out young
gentleman； nor the very friendly young gentleman； nor the military young
gentleman； nor the political young gentleman； nor the domestic young
gentleman； nor the censorious young gentleman； nor the funny young
gentleman； nor the theatrical young gentleman； nor the poetical young
gentleman； nor the throwing…off young gentleman； nor the young ladies'
young gentleman。
As there are some good points about many of them； which still are not
sufficiently numerous to render any one among them eligible； as a whole；
our respectful advice to the young ladies is； to seek for a young gentleman
who unites in himself the best qualities of all； and the worst weaknesses of
none； and to lead him forthwith to the hymeneal altar； whether he will or
no。 And to the young lady who secures him； we beg to tender one short
fragment of matrimonial advice； selected from many sound passages of a
similar tendency； to be found in a letter written by Dean Swift to a young
lady on her marriage。
'The grand affair of your life will be； to gain and preserve the esteem
of your husband。 Neither good…nature nor virtue will suffer him to
ESTEEM you against his judgment； and although he is not capable of
using you ill； yet you will in time gro