按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
43
… Page 44…
SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
storm； and when these gloomy objects fail to afford him inspiration； he
pours forth his soul in a touching address to a violet； or a plaintive lament
that he is no longer a child； but has gradually grown up。
The poetical young gentleman is fond of quoting passages from his
favourite authors； who are all of the gloomy and desponding school。 He
has a great deal to say too about the world； and is much given to opining；
especially if he has taken anything strong to drink； that there is nothing in
it worth living for。 He gives you to understand； however； that for the
sake of society； he means to bear his part in the tiresome play； manfully
resisting the gratification of his own strong desire to make a premature
exit； and consoles himself with the reflection； that immortality has some
chosen nook for himself and the other great spirits whom earth has chafed
and wearied。
When the poetical young gentleman makes use of adjectives； they are
all superlatives。 Everything is of the grandest； greatest； noblest；
mightiest； loftiest； or the lowest； meanest； obscurest； vilest； and most
pitiful。 He knows no medium： for enthusiasm is the soul of poetry； and
who so enthusiastic as a poetical young gentleman？ 'Mr。 Milkwash；' says
a young lady as she unlocks her album to receive the young gentleman's
original impromptu contribution； 'how very silent you are！ I think you
must be in love。' 'Love！' cries the poetical young gentleman； starting
from his seat by the fire and terrifying the cat who scampers off at full
speed； 'Love！ that burning； consuming passion； that ardour of the soul； that
fierce glowing of the heart。 Love！ The withering； blighting influence
of hope misplaced and affection slighted。 Love did you say！ Ha！ ha！
ha！'
With this； the poetical young gentleman laughs a laugh belonging only
to poets and Mr。 O。 Smith of the Adelphi Theatre； and sits down； pen in
hand； to throw off a page or two of verse in the biting； semi…atheistical
demoniac style； which； like the poetical young gentleman himself； is full
of sound and fury； signifying nothing。
44
… Page 45…
SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THE 'THROWING…OFF' YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
There is a certain kind of impostor … a bragging； vaunting； puffing
young gentleman … against whom we are desirous to warn that fairer part
of the creation； to whom we more peculiarly devote these our labours。
And we are particularly induced to lay especial stress upon this division of
our subject； by a little dialogue we held some short time ago； with an
esteemed young lady of our acquaintance； touching a most gross specimen
of this class of men。 We had been urging all the absurdities of his conduct
and conversation； and dwelling upon the impossibilities he constantly
recounted … to which indeed we had not scrupled to prefix a certain hard
little word of one syllable and three letters … when our fair friend； unable to
maintain the contest any longer； reluctantly cried； 'Well； he certainly has a
habit of throwing…off； but then … ' What then？ Throw him off yourself；
said we。 And so she did； but not at our instance； for other reasons
appeared； and it might have been better if she had done so at first。
The throwing…off young gentleman has so often a father possessed of
vast property in some remote district of Ireland； that we look with some
suspicion upon all young gentlemen who volunteer this description of
themselves。 The deceased grandfather of the throwing…off young
gentleman was a man of immense possessions； and untold wealth； the
throwing…off young gentleman remembers； as well as if it were only
yesterday； the deceased baronet's library； with its long rows of scarce and
valuable books in superbly embossed bindings； arranged in cases； reaching
from the lofty ceiling to the oaken floor； and the fine antique chairs and
tables； and the noble old castle of Ballykillbabaloo； with its splendid
prospect of hill and dale； and wood； and rich wild scenery； and the fine
hunting stables and the spacious court…yards； 'and … and … everything upon
the same magnificent scale；' says the throwing…off young gentleman；
'princely； quite princely。 Ah！' And he sighs as if mourning over the
fallen fortunes of his noble house。
45
… Page 46…
SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
The throwing…off young gentleman is a universal genius； at walking；
running； rowing； swimming； and skating； he is unrivalled； at all games of
chance or skill； at hunting； shooting； fishing； riding； driving； or amateur
theatricals； no one can touch him … that is COULD not； because he gives
you carefully to understand； lest there should be any opportunity of testing
his skill； that he is quite out of practice just now； and has been for some
years。 If you mention any beautiful girl of your common acquaintance in
his hearing； the throwing…off young gentleman starts； smiles； and begs you
not to mind him； for it was quite involuntary： people do say indeed that
they were once engaged； but no … although she is a very fine girl； he was
so situated at that time that he couldn't possibly encourage the … 'but it's of
no use talking about it！' he adds； interrupting himself。 'She has got over
it now； and I firmly hope and trust is happy。' With this benevolent
aspiration he nods his head in a mysterious manner； and whistling the first
part of some popular air； thinks perhaps it will be better to change the
subject。
There is another great characteristic of the throwing…off young
gentleman； which is； that he 'happens to be acquainted' with a most
extraordinary variety of people in all parts of the world。 Thus in all
disputed questions； when the throwing…off young gentleman has no
argument to bring forward； he invariably happens to be acquainted with
some distant person； intimately connected with the subject； whose
testimony decides the point against you； to the great … may we say it … to
the great admiration of three young ladies out of every four； who consider
the throwing…off young gentleman a very highly…connected young man；
and a most charming person。
Sometimes the throwing…off young gentleman happens to look in upon
a little family circle of young ladies who are quietly spending the evening
together； and then indeed is he at the very height and summit of his glory；
for it is to be observed that he by no means shines to equal advantage in
the presence of men as in the society of over…credulous young ladies；
which is his proper element。 It is delightful to hear the number of pretty
things the throwing…off young gentleman gives utterance to； during tea；
and still more so to observe the ease with which； from long practice and
46
… Page 47…
SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
study； he delicately blends one compliment to a lady with two for himself。
'Did you ever see a more lovely blue than this flower； Mr。 Caveton？' asks a
young lady who； truth to tell； is rather smitten with the throwing…off young
gentleman。 'Never；' he replies； bending over the object of admiration；
'never but in your eyes。' 'Oh； Mr。 Caveton；' cries the young lady； blushing
of course。 'Indeed I speak the truth；' replies the throwing…off young
gentleman； 'I never saw any approach to them。 I used to think my
cousin's blue eyes lovely； but they grow dim and colourless beside yours。'
'Oh！ a beautiful cousin； Mr。 Caveton！' replies the young lady； with that
perfect artlessness which is the distinguishing characteristic of all young
ladies； 'an affair； o