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to be caught by Tummas Bullock； who held him until the owner and Mrs。
Catherine came up。
Mr。 Bullock looked comically grave when he saw the pair； but the
Corporal graciously saluted Mrs。 Catherine； and said it was a fine day for
walking。
〃La； sir； and so it is；〃 said she； panting in a very pretty and distressing
way； 〃but not for RUNNING。 I do protestha！and vow that I really can
scarcely stand。 I'm so tired of running after that naughty naughty horse！〃
〃How do； Cattern？〃 said Thomas。 〃Zee； I be going a zouldiering
because thee wouldn't have me。〃 And here Mr。 Bullock grinned。 Mrs。
Catherine made no sort of reply； but protested once more she should die of
running。 If the truth were told； she was somewhat vexed at the arrival of
the Corporal's detachment； and had had very serious thoughts of finding
herself quite tired just as he came in sight。
A sudden thought brought a smile of bright satisfaction in the
Captain's eyes。 He mounted the horse which Tummas still held。 〃TIRED；
Mrs Catherine；〃 said he； 〃and for my sake？ By heavens！ you shan't walk a
step farther。 No； you shall ride back with a guard of honour！ Back to the
village； gentlemen！rightabout face！ Show those fellows； Corporal； how
to rightabout face。 Now； my dear； mount behind me on Snowball； he's easy
as a sedan。 Put your dear little foot on the toe of my boot。 There now；
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up！jump！ hurrah！〃
〃THAT'S not the way； Captain；〃 shouted out Thomas； still holding on
to the rein as the horse began to move。 〃Thee woan't goo with him； will
thee； Catty？〃
But Mrs。 Catherine； though she turned away her head； never let go her
hold round the Captain's waist； and he； swearing a dreadful oath at
Thomas； struck him across the face and hands with his riding whip。 The
poor fellow； who at the first cut still held on to the rein； dropped it at the
second； and as the pair galloped off； sat down on the roadside and fairly
began to weep。
〃MARCH； you dog！〃 shouted out the Corporal a minute after。 And so
he did： and when next he saw Mrs。 Catherine she WAS the Captain's lady
sure enough； and wore a grey hat； with a blue feather； and red riding…coat
trimmed with silverlace。 But Thomas was then on a bare…backed horse；
which Corporal Brock was flanking round a ring； and he was so occupied
looking between his horse's ears that he had no time to cry then； and at
length got the better of his attachment。
* * *
This being a good opportunity for closing Chapter I； we ought； perhaps；
to make some apologies to the public for introducing them to characters
that are so utterly worthless； as we confess all our heroes； with the
exception of Mr。 Bullock； to be。 In this we have consulted nature and
history； rather than the prevailing taste and the general manner of authors。
The amusing novel of 〃Ernest Maltravers；〃 for instance； opens with a
seduction； but then it is performed by people of the strictest virtue on both
sides： and there is so much religion and philosophy in the heart of the
seducer； so much tender innocence in the soul of the seduced； that bless
the little dears！their very peccadilloes make one interested in them； and
their naughtiness becomes quite sacred； so deliciously is it described。 Now；
if we ARE to be interested by rascally actions； let us have them with plain
faces； and let them be performed； not by virtuous philosophers； but by
rascals。 Another clever class of novelists adopt the contrary system； and
create interest by making their rascals perform virtuous actions。 Against
these popular plans we here solemnly appeal。 We say； let your rogues in
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novels act like rogues； and your honest men like honest men； don't let us
have any juggling and thimble…rigging with virtue and vice； so that； at the
end of three volumes； the bewildered reader shall not know which is
which； don't let us find ourselves kindling at the generous qualities of
thieves； and sympathising with the rascalities of noble hearts。 For our own
part； we know what the public likes； and have chosen rogues for our
characters； and have taken a story from the 〃Newgate Calendar；〃 which we
hope to follow out to edification。 Among the rogues； at least； we will have
nothing that shall be mistaken for virtues。 And if the British public （after
calling for three or four editions） shall give up； not only our rascals； but
the rascals of all other authors； we shall be content：we shall apply to
Government for a pension； and think that our duty is done。
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CHAPTER II。 IN WHICH ARE
DEPICTED THE PLEASURES OF
A SENTIMENTAL ATTACHMENT。
It will not be necessary； for the purpose of this history； to follow out
very closely all the adventures which occurred to Mrs。 Catherine from the
period when she quitted the 〃Bugle〃 and became the Captain's lady； for
although it would be just as easy to show as not； that the young woman； by
following the man of her heart； had only yielded to an innocent impulse；
and by remaining with him for a certain period； had proved the depth and
strength of her affection for him；although we might make very tender
and eloquent apologies for the error of both parties； the reader might
possibly be disgusted at such descriptions and such arguments： which；
besides； are already done to his hand in the novel of 〃Ernest Maltravers〃
before mentioned。
From the gentleman's manner towards Mrs。 Catherine； and from his
brilliant and immediate success； the reader will doubtless have concluded；
in the first place； that Gustavus Adolphus had not a very violent affection
for Mrs。 Cat； in the second place； that he was a professional lady…killer；
and therefore likely at some period to resume his profession； thirdly； and
to conclude； that a connection so begun； must； in the nature of things； be
likely to end speedily。
And so； to do the Count justice； it would； if he had been allowed to
follow his own inclination entirely； for （as many young gentlemen will；
and yet no praise to them） in about a week he began to be indifferent； in a
month to be weary； in two months to be angry； in three to proceed to blows
and curses； and； in short； to repent most bitterly the hour when he had ever
been induced to present Mrs。 Catherine the toe of his boot； for the purpose
of lifting her on to his horse。
〃Egad！〃 said he to the Corporal one day； when confiding his griefs to
Mr。 Brock； 〃I wish my toe had been cut off before ever it served as a
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ladder to this little vixen。〃
〃Or perhaps your honour would wish to kick her downstairs with it？〃
delicately suggested Mr。 Brock。
〃Kick her！ why； the wench would hold so fast by the banisters that I
COULD not kick her down； Mr。 Brock。 To tell you a bit of a secret； I
HAVE tried as muchnot to kick herno； no； not kick her； certainly： that's
ungentlemanlybut to INDUCE her to go back to that cursed pot…house
where we fell in with her。 I have given her many hints〃
〃Oh； yes； I saw your honour give her one yesterdaywith a mug of
beer。 By the laws； as the ale run all down her face； and she clutched a
knife to run at you； I don't think I ever saw such a she…devil！ That woman
will do for your honour some day； if you provoke her。〃
〃Do for ME？ No； hang it； Mr。 Brock； never！ She loves every hair of
my head； sir： she worships me； Corporal。 Egad； yes！ she worships me； and
would much sooner apply a knife to her own weasand than scratch my
little finger！〃
〃I think she does；〃 said Mr。 Brock。
〃I'm sure of it；〃 said the Captain。 〃Women； look you； are like dogs；
they like to be ill…treated： they like it； sir； I know they do。 I never had
anything to do with a woman i