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Catherine： A Story
Her confidences upon all these subjects used to follow each other in rapid
succession； and Mr。 Brock became； ere long； quite as well acquainted with
the Captain's history for the last year as the Count himself：for he was
careless； and forgot things； women never do。 They chronicle all the lover's
small actions； his words； his headaches； the dresses he has worn； the things
he has liked for dinner on certain days；all which circumstances
commonly are expunged from the male brain immediately after they have
occurred； but remain fixed with the female。
To Brock； then； and to Brock only （for she knew no other soul）； Mrs。
Cat breathed； in strictest confidence； the history of the Count's winnings；
and his way of disposing of them； how he kept his money screwed down
in an iron chest in their room； and a very lucky fellow did Brock consider
his officer for having such a large sum。 He and Cat looked at the chest： it
was small； but mighty strong； sure enough； and would defy picklocks and
thieves。 Well； if any man deserved money； the Captain did （〃though he
might buy me a few yards of that lace I love so；〃 interrupted Cat）；if any
man deserved money； he did； for he spent it like a prince； and his hand was
always in his pocket。
It must now be stated that Monsieur de Galgenstein had； during Cat's
seclusion； cast his eyes upon a young lady of good fortune； who
frequented the Assembly at Birmingham； and who was not a little smitten
by his title and person。 The 〃four new coats； laced； and paid for；〃 as Cat
said； had been purchased； most probably； by his Excellency for the
purpose of dazzling the heiress； and he and the coats had succeeded so far
as to win from the young woman an actual profession of love； and a
promise of marriage provided Pa would consent。 This was obtained；for
Pa was a tradesman； and I suppose every one of my readers has remarked
how great an effect a title has on the lower classes。 Yes； thank Heaven！
there is about a freeborn Briton a cringing baseness； and lickspittle awe of
rank； which does not exist under any tyranny in Europe； and is only to be
found here and in America。
All these negotiations had been going on quite unknown to Cat； and；
as the Captain had determined； before two months were out； to fling that
young woman on the pave； he was kind to her in the meanwhile： people
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Catherine： A Story
always are when they are swindling you； or meditating an injury against
you。
The poor girl had much too high an opinion of her own charms to
suspect that the Count could be unfaithful to them； and had no notion of
the plot that was formed against her。 But Mr。 Brock had： for he had seen
many times a gilt coach with a pair of fat white horses ambling in the
neighbourhood of the town； and the Captain on his black steed caracolling
majestically by its side； and he had remarked a fat； pudgy； pale…haired
woman treading heavily down the stairs of the Assembly； leaning on the
Captain's arm： all these Mr。 Brock had seen； not without reflection。 Indeed；
the Count one day； in great good…humour； had slapped him on the shoulder
and told him that he was about speedily to purchase a regiment； when； by
his great gods； Mr。 Brock should have a pair of colours。 Perhaps this
promise occasioned his silence to Mrs。 Catherine hitherto； perhaps he
never would have peached at all； and perhaps； therefore； this history
would never have been written； but for a small circumstance which
occurred at this period。
〃What can you want with that drunken old Corporal always about your
quarters？〃 said Mr。 Trippet to the Count one day； as they sat over their
wine； in the midst of a merry company； at the Captain's rooms。
〃What！〃 said he。 〃Old Brock？ The old thief has been more useful to
me than many a better man。 He is as brave in a row as a lion； as cunning in
intrigue as a fox； he can nose a dun at an inconceivable distance； and scent
out a pretty woman be she behind ever so many stone walls。 If a
gentleman wants a good rascal now； I can recommend him。 I am going to
reform； you know； and must turn him out of my service。〃
〃And pretty Mrs。 Cat？〃
〃Oh； curse pretty Mrs。 Cat！ she may go too。〃
〃And the brat？〃
〃Why； you have parishes； and what not； here in England。 Egad！ if a
gentleman were called upon to keep all his children； there would be no
living： no； stap my vitals！ Croesus couldn't stand it。〃
〃No； indeed；〃 said Mr。 Trippet： 〃you are right； and when a gentleman
marries； he is bound in honour to give up such low connections as are
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Catherine： A Story
useful when he is a bachelor。〃
〃Of course； and give them up I will； when the sweet Mrs。 Dripping is
mine。 As for the girl； you can have her； Tom Trippet； if you take a fancy to
her； and as for the Corporal； he may be handed over to my successor in
Cutts's：for I will have a regiment to myself； that's poz； and to take with
me such a swindling； pimping； thieving； brandy…faced rascal as this Brock
will never do。 Egad！ he's a disgrace to the service。 As it is； I've often a
mind to have the superannuated vagabond drummed out of the corps。〃
Although this resume of Mr。 Brock's character and accomplishments
was very just； it came perhaps with an ill grace from Count Gustavus
Adolphus Maximilian； who had profited by all his qualities； and who
certainly would never have given this opinion of them had he known that
the door of his dining…parlour was open； and that the gallant Corporal； who
was in the passage； could hear every syllable that fell from the lips of his
commanding officer。 We shall not say； after the fashion of the story…books；
that Mr。 Brock listened with a flashing eye and a distended nostril； that his
chest heaved tumultuously； and that his hand fell down mechanically to his
side； where it played with the brass handle of his sword。 Mr。 Kean would
have gone through most of these bodily exercises had he been acting the
part of a villain enraged and disappointed like Corporal Brock； but that
gentleman walked away without any gestures of any kind； and as gently as
possible。 〃He'll turn me out of the regiment； will he？〃 says he； quite piano；
and then added （con molta espressione）； 〃I'll do for him。〃
And it is to be remarked how generally； in cases of this nature；
gentlemen stick to their word。
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Catherine： A Story
CHAPTER III。 IN WHICH A
NARCOTIC IS ADMINISTERED；
AND A GREAT DEAL OF
GENTEEL SOCIETY DEPICTED。
When the Corporal； who had retreated to the street…door immediately
on hearing the above conversation； returned to the Captain's lodgings and
paid his respects to Mrs。 Catherine； he found that lady in high good…
humour。 The Count had been with her； she said； along with a friend of his；
Mr。 Trippet； had promised her twelve yards of the lace she coveted so
much； had vowed that the child should have as much more for a cloak； and
had not left her until he had sat with her for an hour； or more； over a bowl
of punch； which he made on purpose for her。 Mr。 Trippet stayed too。 〃A
mighty pleasant man；〃 said she； 〃only not very wise； and seemingly a
good deal in liquor。〃
〃A good deal indeed！〃 said the Corporal。 〃He was so tipsy just now
that he could hardly stand。 He and his honour were talking to Nan Fantail
in the market…place； and she pulled Trippet's wig off； for wanting to kiss
her。〃
〃The nasty fellow！〃 said Mrs。 Cat； 〃to demean himself with such low
people as Nan Fantail； indeed！ Why； upon my conscience now； Corporal； it
was but an hour ago that Mr。 Trippet swore he never saw such a pair of
eyes as mine； and would like to cut the Captain's throat for the love of me。
Nan Fantail； indeed！〃
〃Nan's an honest girl； Madam Catherine； and was a great favourite of
the Captain's before someo