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corners were already in place to
hold the first picture。 It wasn't a half…bad idea； to make some record of my
life here。 I felt a strange urge
to get started。 Maybe I didn't have that long left in Forks。
I toyed with the wrist strap on the camera； wondering about the first picture
on the roll。 Could it possibly
turn out anything close to the original？ I doubted it。 But he didn't seem
worried that it would be blank。 I
chuckled to myself； thinking of his carefree laughter last night。 The chuckle
died away。 So much had
changed； and so abruptly。 It made me feel a little bit dizzy； like I was
standing on an edge； a precipice
somewhere much too high。
I didn't want to think about that anymore。 I grabbed the camera and headed up
the stairs。
My room hadn't really changed all that much in the seventeen years since my
mother had been here。 The
walls were still light blue； the same yellowed lace curtains hung in front of
the window。 There was a bed；
rather than a crib； but she would recognize the quilt draped untidily over the
top—it had been a gift ROM
Gran。
Regardless； I snapped a picture of my room。 There wasn't much else I could do
tonight—it was too dark
outside—and the feeling was growing stronger； it was almost a pulsion now。
I would record
everything about Forks before I had to leave it。
Change was ing。 I could feel it。 It wasn't a pleasant prospect； not when
life was perfect the way it
was。
I took my time ing back down the stairs； camera in hand； trying to ignore
the butterflies in my
stomach as I thought of the strange distance I didn't want to see in Edward's
eyes。 He would get over
this。 Probably he was worried that I would be upset when he asked me to leave。
I would let him work
through it without meddling。 And I would be prepared when he asked。
I had the camera ready as I leaned around the corner； being sneaky。 I was sure
there was no chance that
I had caught Edward by surprise； but he didn't look up。 I felt a brief shiver
as something icy twisted in my
stomach； I ignored that and took the picture。
They both looked at me then。 Charlie frowned。 Edward's face was empty；
expressionless。
〃What are you doing； Bella？〃 Charlie plained。
〃Oh； e on。〃 I pretended to smile as I went to sit on the floor in front of
the sofa where Charlie
lounged。 〃You know Mom will be calling soon to ask if I'm using my presents。 I
have to get to work
before she can get her feelings hurt。〃
〃Why are you taking pictures of me； though？〃 he grumbled。
〃Because you're so handsome；〃 I replied； keeping it light。 〃And because； since
you bought the camera；
you're obligated to be one of my subjects。〃
He mumbled something unintelligible。
〃Hey； Edward；〃 I said with admirable indifference。 〃Take one of me and my dad
together。〃
I threw the camera toward him； carefully avoiding his eyes； and knelt beside
the arm of the sofa where
Charlie's face was。 Charlie sighed。
〃You need to smile； Bella；〃 Edward murmured。
I did my best； and the camera flashed。
〃Let me take one of you kids；〃 Charlie suggested。 I knew he was just trying to
shift the camera's focus
fromhimself。
Edward stood and lightly tossed him the camera。
I went to stand beside Edward； and the arrangement felt formal and strange to
me。 He put one hand
lightly on my shoulder； and I wrapped my arm more securely around his waist。 I
wanted to look at his
face； but I was afraid to。
〃Smile； Bella；〃 Charlie reminded me again。
I took a deep breath and smiled。 The flash blinded me。
〃Enough pictures for tonight；〃 Charlie said then； shoving the camera into a
crevice of the sofa cushions
and rolling over it。 〃You don't have to use the whole roll now。〃
Edward dropped his hand from my shoulder and twisted casually out of my arm。
He sat back down in
the armchair。
I hesitated； and then went to sit against the sofa again。 I was suddenly so
frightened that my hands were
shaking。 I pressed them into my stomach to hide them； put my chin on my knees
and stared at the TV
screen in front of me； seeing nothing。
When the show ended； I hadn't moved an inch。 Out of the corner of my eye； I
saw Edward stand。
〃I'd better get home；〃 he said。
Charlie didn't look up from the mercial。 〃See ya。〃
I got awkwardly to my feet—I was stiff from sitting so still—and followed
Edward out the front door。 He
went straight to his car。
〃Will you stay？〃 I asked； no hope in my voice。
I expected his answer； so it didn't hurt as much。
〃Not tonight。〃
I didn't ask for a reason。
He got in his car and drove away while I stood there； unmoving。 I barely
noticed that it was raining。 I
waited； without knowing what I waited for； until the door opened behind me。
〃Bella； what are you doing？〃 Charlie asked； surprised to see me standing there
alone and dripping。
〃Nothing。〃 I turned and trudged back to the house。
It was a long night； with little in the way of rest。
I got up as soon as there was a faint light outside my window。 I dressed for
school mechanically； waiting
for the clouds to brighten。 When I had eaten a bowl of cereal； I decided that
it was light enough for
pictures。 I took one of my truck； and then the front of the house。 I turned
and snapped a few of the forest
by Charlie's house。 Funny how it didn't seem sinister like it used to。 I
realized I would miss this—the
green； the timelessness； the mystery of the woods。 All of it。
I put the camera in my school bag before I left。 I tried to concentrate on my
new project rather than the
fact that Edward apparently hadn't gotten over things during the night。
Along with the fear； I was beginning to feel impatience。 How long could this
last？
It lasted through the morning。 He walked silently beside me； never seeming to
actually look at me。 I tried
to concentrate on my classes； but not even English could hold my attention。
Mr。 Berty had to repeat his
question about Lady Capulet twice before I realized he was talking to me。
Edward whispered the correct
answer under his breath and then went back to ignoring me。
At lunch； the silence continued。 I felt like I was going to start screaming at
any moment； so； to distract
myself； I leaned across the table's invisible line and spoke to Jessica。
〃Hey； Jess？〃
〃What's up； Bella？〃
〃Could you do me a favor？〃 I asked； reaching into my bag。 〃My mom wants me to
get some pictures of
my friends for a scrapbook。 So； take some pictures of everybody； okay？〃
I handed her the camera。
〃Sure；〃 she said； grinning； and turned to snap a candid shot of Mike with his
mouth full。
A predictable picture war ensued。 I watched them hand the camera around the
table； giggling and flirting
and plaining about being on film。 It seemed strangely childish。 Maybe I
just wasn't in the mood for
normal human behavior today。
〃Uh…oh；〃 Jessica said apologetically as she returned the camera。 〃I think we
used all your film。〃
〃That's okay。 I think I already got pictures of everything else I needed。〃
After school； Edward walked me back to the parking lot in silence。 I had to
work again； and for once； I
was glad。 Time with me obviously wasn't helping things。 Maybe time alone would
be better。
I dropped my film off at the Thriftway on my way to Newton's； and then picked
up the developed
pictures after work。 At home； I said a brief hi to Charlie； grabbed a granola
bar from the kitchen； and
hurried up to my room with the envelope of photographs tucked under my arm。
I sat in the middle of my bed and opened the envelope with wary curiosity。
Ridiculously； I still half
expected the first print to be a blank。
When I pulled it out； I gasped aloud。 Edward looked just as beautiful as he
did in real life； staring at me
out of the picture with the warm eyes I'd missed for the past few days。 It was
almost uncanny that anyone
could look so so beyond description。 No thousand words could equal this
picture。
I flipped through the rest of the stack quickly once； and then laid three of
them out on the bed side by
side。
The first was the picture of Edward in the kitchen； his warm eyes touched with
tolerant amusement。 The
second was Edward and Charlie； watching ESPN。 The difference in Edward's
expression was severe。
His eyes were careful here； reserved。 Still breathtakingly beautiful； but his
face was colder； more like a
sculpture； less alive。
The last was the picture of Edward and me standing awkwardly side by side。
Edward's face was the
same as the last； cold and statue…like。 But that wasn't the most troubling
part of this photograph。 The
contrast between the two of us was painful。 He looked like a god。 I looked
very average； even for a
human； almost shamefully plain。 I flipped the picture over with a feeling of
disgust。
Instead of doing my homework； I stayed up to put my pictures into the album。
With a ballpoint pen I
scrawled captions under all the pictures； the names and the dates。 I got to
the picture of Edward and me；
and； without looking at it too long； I folded it in half and stuck it under
the metal tab； Edward…side up。
When I was done； I stuffed the second set of prints in a fresh envelope a