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She looked at her face out of her clear gray eyes and tried to imagine herself in the white cap and uniform of a nurse。 She'd have to make up her mind soon。 Graduation was next month and it wasn't every student who could get a scholarship to St。 Mary's College of Nursing。
The sisters liked her and she'd always received high marks throughout her attendance at Mercy。 Besides； Father Hadley had written Mother M。 Ernest； mending her for her devout attendance and service to the church； not like so many of the young ladies today； who spent more time in front of a mirror over their make…up than on their knees in church in front of their God。 Father Hadley had expressed the hope that the Good Mother would find a way to reward this poor deserving child for her devotion。
The scholarship to St。 Mary's was given each year to the one student whose record for religious and scholastic achievements was deemed the most worthy by a mittee headed by the Archbishop。 This year； it was to be hers； if she decided to bee a nurse。 This morning； after church； she'd have to present herself to Mother M。 Ernest； at the Sister House； to give her answer。
〃It is God's mercy you'll be dispensing；〃 Sister Cyril had said； after informing her of the mittee's choice。 〃But you will have to make the decision。 It may be that attending the sick and helpless is not your true vocation。〃
Sister Cyril had looked up at the girl standing quietly in front of her desk。 Already； Jennie was tall and slim； with the full body of a woman； and yet there was a quiet innocence in the calm gray eyes that looked back at her。 Jennie did not speak。 Sister Cyril smiled at her。 〃You have a week to make up your mind；〃 she said gently。 〃Go to the Sister House next Sunday after Mass。 Mother Mary Ernest will be there to receive your answer。〃
Her father had cursed angrily when he heard of the scholarship。 〃What kind of life is that for a child？ Cleaning out the bedpans of dirty old men？ The next thing you know； they'll talk her into being a nun。〃
He turned violently to her mother。 〃It's all your doing；〃 he shouted。 〃You and those priests you listen to。 What's so holy about taking a child with the juices of life just beginning to bubble inside of her and locking her away behind the walls of a convent？〃
Her mother's face was white。 〃It's blasphemy you're speaking； Thomas Denton；〃 she said coldly。 〃If only once you'd e and speak to the good Father Hadley； ye'd learn how wrong ye are。 And if our daughter should bee a religious； it's the proudest mother in Christendom I'd be。 What is wrong in giving your only child as a bride to Christ？〃
〃Aye；〃 her father said heavily。 〃But who'll be to blame when the child grows up and finds you've stolen from her the pleasures of being a woman？〃
He turned to Jennie and looked down at her。 〃Jennie Bear；〃 he said softly； 〃it's not that I object to your being a nurse if you want to。 It's that I want you to do and be whatever you want to be。 Your mother and I； we don't matter。 Even what the church wants doesn't matter。 It's what you want that does。〃 He sighed。 〃Do you understand； child？〃
Jennie nodded。 〃I understand； Papa。〃
〃Ye'll not be satisfied till ye see your daughter a whore；〃 her mother suddenly screamed at him。
He turned swiftly。 〃I'd rather see her a whore of her own free choice；〃 he snapped； 〃than driven to sainthood。〃
He looked down at Jennie； his voice soft again。 〃Do you want to bee a nurse； Jennie Bear？〃
She looked up at him with her clear gray eyes。 〃I think so； Papa。〃
〃If it's what you want； Jennie Bear；〃 he said quietly； 〃then I'll be content with it。〃
Her mother looked at him； a quiet triumph in her eyes。 〃When will ye learn ye cannot fight the Lord； Thomas Denton？〃
He started to answer； then shut his lips tightly and strode from the apartment。
Sister Cyril knocked at the heavy oaken door of the study。 〃e in；〃 called a strong； clear voice。 She opened the door and gestured to Jennie。
Jennie walked into the room hesitantly； Sister Cyril behind her。 〃This is Jennie Denton； Reverend Mother。〃
The middle…aged woman in the black garb of the Sisterhood looked up from her desk。 There was a half…finished cup of tea by her hand。 She studied the girl with curiously bright； questioning eyes。 After a moment； she smiled； revealing white； even teeth。 〃So you're Jennie Denton；〃 she said； holding out her hand。
Jennie curtsied quickly and kissed the ring on the finger of the Reverend Mother。 〃Yes； Reverend Mother。〃 She straightened up and stood in front of the desk stiffly。
Mother M。 Ernest smiled again； a hint of merriment ing into her eyes。 〃You can relax； child；〃 she said。 〃I'm not going to eat you。〃
Jennie smiled awkwardly。
The Reverend Mother raised a questioning eyebrow。 〃Perhaps you'd like a cup of tea？〃 she asked。 〃A cup of tea always makes me feel better。〃
〃That would be very nice；〃 Jennie said stiffly。
The Reverend Mother looked up and nodded at Sister Cyril。 〃I'll get it； Reverend Mother；〃 the nun said quickly。
〃And another cup for me； please？〃 Mother M。 Ernest turned back to Jennie。 〃I do love a good cup of tea。〃 She smiled。 〃And they do have that here。 None of those weak tea balls they use in the hospitals； real tea； brewed in a pot the way tea should be。 Won't you sit down； child？〃
The last came so fast that Jennie wasn't quite sure she'd heard it。 〃What； ma'am？〃 she stammered。
〃Won't you sit down； child？ You don't have to be nervous with me。 I want to be your friend。〃
〃Yes； ma'am；〃 Jennie said and sat down； even more nervous than before。
The Reverend Mother looked at her for a few moments。 〃So you've decided to bee a nurse； have you？〃
〃Yes； Reverend Mother。〃
Now the Reverend Mother's curiously bright eyes were upon her。 〃Why？〃 she asked suddenly。
〃Why？〃 Jennie was surprised at the question。 Her eyes fell before the Reverend Mother's gaze。 〃Why？〃 She looked up again； her eyes meeting the Reverend Mother's。 〃I don't know。 I guess I never really thought about it。〃
〃How old are you； child？〃 the Reverend Mother asked。
〃I'll be seventeen next month； the week before graduation。〃
〃It was always your ambition to be a nurse and help the sick； ever since you were a little child； wasn't it？〃
Jennie shook her head。 〃No；〃 she answered candidly。 〃I never thought about it much until now。〃
〃Being a nurse is very hard work。 You'll have very little time to yourself at St。 Mary's。 You'll work and study all day； at night； you'll live at the school。 You'll have only one day off each month to visit your family。〃 The Reverend Mother turned the handle of her cup delicately so that it pointed away from her。 〃Your boy friend might not like that。〃
〃But I haven't got a boy friend；〃 Jennie said。
〃But you came to the junior and senior proms with Michael Halloran；〃 the Reverend Mother said。 〃And you play tennis with him every Saturday。 Isn't he your boy friend？〃
Jennie laughed。 〃No； Reverend Mother。 He's not my boy friend； not that way。〃 She laughed again； this time to herself； as she thought of the lanky； gangling youth whose only romantic thoughts were about his backhand。 〃He's just the best tennis player around； that's all。〃 Then she added； 〃And someday I'm going to beat him。〃
〃You were captain of the girl's tennis team last year？〃
Jennie nodded。
〃You won't have time to play tennis at St。 Mary's；〃 the Reverend Mother said。
Jennie didn't answer。
〃Is there anything you'd rather be than a nurse？〃
Jennie thought for a moment。 Then she looked up at the Reverend Mother。 〃I'd like to beat Helen Wills for the U。S。 tennis championship。〃
The Reverend Mother began to laugh。 She was still laughing when Sister Cyril came in with the tea。 She looked across the desk at the girl。 〃You'll do；〃 she said。 〃And I have a feeling you'll make a very good nurse； too。〃
3
TOM DENTON KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG THE MOMENT HE CAME UP TO THE WINDOW FOR HIS PAY ENVELOPE。 Usually； the paymaster was ready with a wisecrack； like did he want him to hold the envelope for his wife so that the Saturday…night beer parlors wouldn't get it？ But there was no wisecrack this time； no friendly raillery； which had been a part of their weekly meeting for almost fifteen years。 Instead； the paymaster pushed the envelope under the slotted steel bars quickly； his eyes averted and downcast。
Tom stared at him for a moment。 He glanced quickly at some of the faces on the line behind him。 They knew； too。 He could see it from the way they were looking at him。 An odd feeling of shame came over him。 This couldn't be happening to him。 Not after fifteen years。 His eyes fell and he walked away from the window； the envelope in his hand。
Nobody had to tell him times were bad。 This was 1931 and the evidence was all around him。 The families on relief； the bread lines； the endless gray； tired faces of the men who boarded his car every morning。
He was almost out of the barn now。 Suddenly； he couldn't wait any longer and he ducked into a dark corner to open the pay envelope。 He tore at it with trembling fingers。 The first thing that came to his hand was the dreaded green slip。
He stared at it unbelievingly。 It must be a mistake。 They couldn't mean him。 He wasn't a one…year or two…y