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〃Stand together against Malena？〃 Marin's laugh was nearer a sob。 〃We're all afraid of her。 But she's good with the children。 There are always children sick these days； it seems； but Malena does the best she can。 Almost no one ever died of sickness when you were Wisdom。〃
〃Marin； listen to me。 Don't you see why there are always children sick？ If she can't make you afraid of her； she makes you think you need her for the children。 She's doing it； Marin。 Just as she did it to Bran。〃
〃She couldn't；〃 Marin breathed。 〃She； wouldn't。 Not the little ones。〃
〃She is； Marin。〃 The way back … Nynaeve suppressed the thought ruthlessly。 〃Is there anyone in the Circle who isn't afraid？ Anyone who will listen？〃
The other woman said； 〃No one who isn't afraid。 But Corin Ayellin might listen。 If she does； she might bring two or three more。 Nynaeve； if enough of the Circle listens； will you be our Wisdom again？ I think you may be the only one who won't back down to Malena； even if we all know。 You don't know what she's like。〃
〃I will。〃 The way back … No！ These are my people！ 〃Get your cloak； and we'll go to Corin。〃
Marin was hesitant about leaving the inn； and once Nynaeve had her outside she slunk along from doorstep to doorstep； crouching and watching。
Before they were halfway to Corin Ayellin's house； Nynaeve saw a tall； scrawny woman striding down the other side of the Green toward the inn； slashing the heads off weeds with a thick willow switch。 Bony as she was； she had a look of wiry strength； and a set； determined slash of a mouth。 Cenn Buie scuttled along in her wake。
〃Malena。〃 Marin pulled Nynaeve into the space between two houses； and whispered as if afraid the woman might hear across the Green。 〃I knew Cenn would go to her。〃
Something made Nynaeve look over her shoulder。 Behind her stood a silver arch； reaching from house to house； glowing whitely。 The way back will e but once。 Be steadfast。
Marin gave a soft scream。 〃She's seen us。 Light help us； she's ing this way！〃
The tall woman had turned across the Green； leaving Cenn standing uncertainly。 There was no uncertainty on Malena's face。 She walked slowly； as if there were no hope of escape； a cruel smile growing with every step。
Marin tugged at Nynaeve's sleeve。 〃We have to run。 We have to hide。 Nynaeve； e on。 Cenn will have told her who you are。 She hates anyone even to speak of you。〃
The silver arch pulled Nynaeve's eyes。 The way back。。。 She shook her head； trying to remember。 It is not real。 She looked at Marin； stark terror twisted the woman's face。 You must be steadfast to survive。
〃Please； Nynaeve。 She's seen me with you。 She…has…seen…me！ Please； Nynaeve！ 〃
Malena came closer； implacable。 My people。 The arch shone。 The way back。 It is not real。
With a sob； Nynaeve tore her arm out of Marin's grasp and plunged toward the silvery glow。
Marin's shriek hounded her。 〃For the love of the Light； Nynaeve； help me！ HELP ME！〃
The glow enveloped her。
Staring； Nynaeve staggered out of the arch； barely aware of the chamber or the Aes Sedai。 Marin's last cry still rang in her ears。 She did not flinch when cold water was suddenly poured over her head。
〃You are washed clean of false pride。 You are washed clean of false ambition。 You e to us washed clean； in heart and soul。〃 As the Red Aes Sedai stepped back； Sheriam came to take Nynaeve's arm。
Nynaeve gave a start； then realized who it was。 She seized the collar of Sheriam's dress in both hands。 〃Tell me it was not real。 Tell me！〃
〃Bad？〃 Sheriam pried her hands loose as if she were used to this reaction。 〃It is always worse； and the third is the worst of all。〃
〃I left my friend 。。。 I left my people 。。。 in the Pit of Doom to e back。〃 Please； Light； it was not real。 I didn't really 。。。 I have to make Moiraine pay。 I have to！
〃There is always some reason not to return； something to prevent you； or distract you。 This ter'angreal weaves traps for you from your own mind； weaves them tight and strong； harder than steel and more deadly than poison。 That is why we use it as a test。 You must want to be Aes Sedai more than anything else in the whole world； enough to face anything； fight free of anything； to achieve it。 The White Tower cannot accept less。 We demand it of you。〃
〃You demand a great deal。〃 Nynaeve stared at the third arch as the red haired Aes Sedai took her toward it。 The third is the worst。 〃I'm afraid；〃 she whispered。 What could be worse than what I just did？
〃Good；〃 Sheriam said。 〃You seek to be Aes Sedai； to channel the One Power。 No one should approach that without fear and awe。 Fear will keep you cautious； caution will keep you alive。〃 She turned Nynaeve to face the arch； but she did not step back immediately。 〃No one will force you to enter a third time； child。〃
Nynaeve licked her lips。 〃If I refuse； you'll put me out of the Tower and never let me e back。〃 Sheriam nodded。 〃And this is the worst。〃 Sheriam nodded again。 Nynaeve drew breath。 〃I am ready。〃
〃The third time；〃 Sheriam intoned formally； 〃is for what will be。 The way back will e but once。 Be steadfast。〃
Nynaeve threw herself at the arch in a run。
Laughing； she ran through swirling clouds of butterflies rising from wildflowers that covered the hilltop meadow with a knee…deep blanket of color。 Her gray mare danced nervously； reins dangling； at the edge of the meadow； and Nynaeve stopped running so as not to frighten the animal more。 Some of the butterflies settled on her dress； on flowers of embroidery and seed pearls； or flittered around the sapphires and moonstones in her hair； hanging loose about her shoulders。
Below the hill； the necklace of the Thousand Lakes spread through the city of Malkier； reflecting the cloud…brushing Seven Towers； with Golden Crane banners flying at their heights in the mists。 The city had a thousand gardens； but she preferred this wild garden on the hilltop。 The way back will e but once。 Be steadfast。
The sound of hooves made her turn。
Al'Lan Mandragoran； King of Malkier； leaped from the back of his charger and strolled toward her through the butterflies； laughing。 His face had the look of a hard man； but the smiles he wore for her softened the stony planes。
She gaped at him； taken by surprise when he gathered her into his arms and kissed her。 For a moment she clung to him； lost； kissing him back。 Her feet dangled a foot in the air； and she did not care。
Suddenly she pushed at him； pulled her face back。 〃No。〃 She pushed harder。 〃Let me go。 Put me down。〃 Puzzled； he lowered her until her feet touched ground； she backed away from him。 〃Not this；〃 she said。 〃I cannot face this。 Anything but this。 〃 Please； let me face Aginor again。 Memory swirled。 Aginor？ She did not know where that thought had e from。 Memory lurched and tilted； shifting fragments like broken ice on a flooding river。 She clawed for the pieces； clawed for something to hang on to。
〃Are you well； my love？〃 Lan asked worriedly。
〃Do not call me that！ I am not your love！ I cannot marry you！〃
He startled her by throwing back his head and roaring with laughter。 〃Your implication that we are not married might upset our children； wife。 And how are you not my love？ I have no other； and will have no other。〃
〃I must go back。〃 Desperately she looked for the arch； found only meadow and sky。 Harder than steel and more deadly than poison。 Lan。 Lan's babies。 Light； help me！ 〃I must go back now。〃
〃Go back？ Where？ To Emond's Field？ If you wish it。 I'll send letters to Morgase； and mand an escort。〃
〃Alone；〃 she muttered； still searching。 Where is it？ I have to go。 〃I won't be tangled up in this。 I couldn't bear it。 Not this。 I have to go now！〃
〃Tangled up in what； Nynaeve？ What is it you couldn't bear？ No； Nynaeve。 You can ride alone here if you wish it； but if the Queen of the Malkieri came to Andor without a proper escort； Morgase would be scandalized； if not offended。 You don't want to offend her； do you？ I thought you two were friends。〃
Nynaeve felt as if she had been hit in the head； blow after dazing blow。 〃Queen？〃 she said hesitantly。 〃We have babies？〃
〃Are you certain you're well？ I think I had better take you to Sharina Sedai。〃
〃No。〃 She backed away from him again。 〃No Aes Sedai。〃 It isn't real。 I won't be pulled into it this time。 I won't！
〃Very well；〃 he said slowly。 〃As my wife； how could you not be Queen？ We are Malkieri here； not southlanders。 You were crowned in the Seven Towers at the same time we exchanged rings。〃 Unconsciously he moved his left hand； a plain gold band encircled his forefinger。 She glanced at her own hand； at the ring she knew would be there； she clasped her other hand over it； but whether to deny its presence by hiding it or to hold it； she could not have said。 〃Do you remember； now？〃 he went on。 He stretched out a hand as if to brush her cheek； and she went back another six steps。 He sighed。 〃As you wish； my love。 We have three children； though only one can properly be called a baby。 Maric is almost to your shou