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gence to keep track of time in the dark and remember that your captors will always make a mistake sometime； and if you can catch the mistake you can relate to time； and if you can relate to time then you can keep in balance and then you can twist them and not divulge that which must not be divulged … exact names and real contacts。 Pit your mind against them was the rule。 Keep active； force yourself to observe。
Have they made any mistakes？ Have these devil barbarian British slipped yet？ Only once； he thought excitedly。 The eggs！ The stupid British and their eggs for breakfast！
Feeling better now and wide awake； he eased off the cot and groped his way to the metal plate and put the cup down gently beside it。 The eggs were cold and the grease congealed but he chewed them and finished the bread and felt a little better for the food。 Eating with his fingers in darkness was strange and unfortable especially with nothing to wipe his fingers on except his own nakedness。
A shudder went through him。 He felt abandoned and unclean。 His bladder was unfortable and he felt his way to the pail that was attached to the wall。 The pail stank。
With an index finger he deftly measured the level in the pail。 It was partially full。 He emptied himself into it and measured the new level。 His mind calculated the difference。 If they haven't added to it to confuse me； I've peed three or four times。 Twice a day？ Or four times a day？
He rubbed his soiled finger against his chest and that made him feel dirtier but it was important to use everything and anything to keep balanced and time related。 He lay down again。 Out of touch with light or dark or day or night was nauseating。 A wave of sickness came from his stomach but he dominated it and forced himself to remember the Brian Kwok who they； the enemy； thought was Brian Kar…shun Kwok and not the other man； the almost forgotten man whose parentage was Wu； his generation name Pah and his adult name Chu…toy。
He remembered Ning…tok and his father and mother and being sent to school to Hong Kong on his sixth birthday； wanting to learn and to grow up to bee a patriot like his parents and the uncle he had seen flogged to death in his village square for being a patriot。 He had learned from his Hong Kong relations that patriot and munist were the same and not enemies of the State。 That the Kuomintang overlords were just as evil as the foreign devils who had forced the unequal treaties on China； and the only true patriot was he who followed the teachings of Mao Tse…tung。 Being sworn into the first of many secret Brotherhoods； working to be the best for the cause of China and Mao which was the cause of China； learning from secret teachers； knowing he was part of the new great wave of revolution that would take back control of China from foreign devils and their lackeys； and sweep them into the sea forever。
Winning that scholarship！ At twelve！
Oh how proud his secret teachers had been。 Then going to barbarian lands； now perfect in their language and safe against their evil thoughts and ways； going to London； the capital of the greatest empire the world has ever seen； knowing it was going to be humbled and laid waste someday； but then in 1937； still in its last flowering。
Two years there。 Hating the English school and the English boys 。。。 Chinkee Chinkee Chinaman sitting on his tail 。。。 but hiding it and hiding his tears； his new Brotherhood teachers helping him； guiding him； putting questions and answers into context； showing him the wonder of dialectic； of being part of the true real unquestioned revolution。 Never questioning； never a need to question。
Then the German war and being evacuated with all the other school boys and girls to safety in Canada； all that wonderful time in Vancouver； British Columbia； on the Pacific shore； all that immensity； mountains and sea and a thriving Chinatown with good Ning…tok cooking … and a new branch of the world Brotherhood and more teachers； always someone wise to talk to； always someone ready to explain and advise 。。。 not accepted by his schoolmates but still beating them scholastically； in the gym with gloves and at their sports； being a prefect； playing cricket well and tennis well … part of his training。 〃Excel； Chu…toy； my son； excel and be patient for the glory of the Party； for the glory of Mao Tse…tung who is China；〃 the last words his father had said to him； secret words engraved since he was six … and repeated on his deathbed。
Joining the Royal Canadian Mounted Police had been part of the plan。 It was easy to excel in the RCMP； assigned to Chinatown and the wharves and the byways； speaking English and Mandarin and Cantonese … his Ning…tok dialect buried deep … easy to bee a fine policeman in that sprawling beautiful city port。 Soon he became unique； Vancouver's Chinese expert； trusted； excelling and implacably against the crimes that the triad gangsters of Chinatown fed off … opium； morphine； heroin； prostitution and the ever…constant illegal gambling。
His work had been mended by his superiors and by Brotherhood leaders alike … they equally against gang rule and drug traffic and crime； assisting him to arrest and uncover； their only secret interest the inner workings of the RCMP； how the RCMP hire and fire and promote and collate and investigate and watch； and who controls what； where and how。 Sent from Vancouver to Ottawa for six months； loaned by a grateful chief of police to assist in an undercover investigation of a Chinese drug ring there； making new important Canadian contacts and Brotherhood contacts； learning more and more and breaking the ring and getting promotion。 Easy to control crime and get promotion if you work and if you have secret friends by the hundreds； with secret eyes everywhere。
Then the war ending and applying for a transfer for the Hong Kong Police … the final part of the plan。
But not wanting to go； not wanting to leave； loving Canada； and loving her。 Jeannette。 Jeannette deBois。 She was nineteen； French…Canadian from Montreal； speaking French and English； her parents French…Canadians of many generations and them liking him and not disapproving； not against him because he was the Chinois； as they jokingly called him。 He was twenty…one then； already known as mandant material with a great career ahead of him； marriage ahead； a year or so ahead 。。。
Brian Kwok shifted on the mattress in misery。 His skin felt clammy and the dark was pressing down。 He closed his leaden eyelids and let his mind roam back to her and that time； that bad time in his life。 He remembered how he had argued with the Brotherhood； the leader； saying he could serve better in Canada than in Hong Kong where he would be only one of many。 Here in Canada he was unique。 In a few years he would be in Vancouver's police hierarchy。
But all his arguments had failed。 Sadly he knew that they were right。 He knew that if he had stayed； eventually he would have gone over to the other side； would have broken with the Party。 There were too many unanswered questions now； thanks to reading RMCQ reports on the Soviets； the KGB； the gulags； too many friends； Canadian and Nationalist； now。 Hong Kong and China were remote； his past remote。 Jeannette was here； loving her and their life； his souped…up car and prestige among his peers； seeing them as equals； no longer barbarians。
The leader had reminded him of his past； that barbarians are only barbarians； that he was needed in Hong Kong where the battle was just beginning； where Mao was still not yet Chairman Mao； not yet victorious； still embattled with Chiang Kai…shek。
Bitterly he had obeyed； hating being forced； knowing he was in their power and obeying because of their power。 But then the heady four years till 1949； and Mao's incredible； unbelievable total victory。 Then burrowing deep again； using his brilliant skills to fight the crime that was anathema to him and a disgrace to Hong Kong and a blot on the face of China。
Life was very good again now。 He was picked for high promotion； the British bound to him； respecting him because he was from a fine English public school with a fine upper…class English accent and an English sportsman like the elite of the Empire before him。
And now it's 1963 and I'm thirty…nine and tomorrow 。。。 no； not tomorrow； on Sunday； on Sunday it's the hill climb and on Saturday there are the races and Noble Star … will it be Noble Star or Gornt's Pilot Fish or Richard Kwok's； no Richard Kwang's Butterscotch Lass or John Chen's outsider； Golden Lady？ I think I'd put my money on Golden Lady … every penny I have； yes； all my life's savings and I'm also gambling the Porsche as well even though that's stupid but I have to。 I have to because Crosse said so and Robert agrees and they both said I've got to put up my life as well but Jesus Christ now Golden Lady's limping in the paddock but the gamble's settled and now they're off and running； e on Golden Lady； e on for the love of Mao； don't mind the storm clouds and the lightning e on； all my savings and my life's riding on your rotten lousy god…cursed oh Jesus Chairman don't fail me。 。。。
He was deep in dreams now； bad dreams； drug…assisted dreams； and Happy Valley was the Valley of Death。 His eyes did not feel the lights e up gentl