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ng him。
〃Mr。 Bartlett！ Are all Americans like you？〃
〃No；〃 he said immediately but she would not take the bait。 〃Yes； I know。〃 Her voice was serious。 〃I know。 That's what I wanted to talk to you about。 Coffee？〃
〃Sure；〃 he said； waiting； wondering how to proceed； gauging her； wanting her； not sure of this jungle； fascinated by it and by her。
Carefully she poured the coffee。 It tasted as good as the first。 He was in control though the ache remained。 〃Let's go into the living room；〃 she said。 〃I'll bring your cup。〃 He got up and kept a hand around her waist。 She did not object and he felt that she liked his touch too。 He sat in one of the deep armchairs。 〃Sit here；〃 he said； patting the arm。 〃Please。〃
〃Later。 First I want to talk。〃 She smiled a little shyly and sat on the sofa opposite。 It was dark blue velvet and matched the Chinese rug on shiny parquet floors。 〃Linc； I've only known you a few days and I 。。。 I'm not a good…time girl。〃 Orlanda reddened as she said it and carried on a rush over what he was going to say。 〃Sorry but I'm not。 Quillan was the first and only one and I don't want an affair。 I don't want a frantic or friendly tumble and a shy or aching good…bye。 I've learned to live without love； I just cannot go through that all again。 I did love Quillan； I don't now。 I was seventeen when we 。。。 when we began and now I'm twenty…five。 We've been apart for almost three years。 Everything's been finished for three years and I don't love him anymore。 I don't love anyone and I'm sorry； I'm sorry but I'm not a good…time girl。〃
〃I never thought you were；〃 he said and knew in his heart it was a lie and cursed his luck。 〃Hell； what do you think I am？〃
〃I think you're a fine man；〃 she said at once； sincerely； 〃but in Asia a girl； any girl； finds out very quickly that men want to pillow and that's really all they want。 Sorry； Linc； casual pillowing's not my thing。 Perhaps it will be one day but not now。 Yes I'm Eurasian but I'm not 。。。 you know what I'm saying？〃
〃Sure；〃 he said and added before he could stop himself； 〃you're saying you're off limits。〃
Her smile vanished and she stared at him。 His heart twisted at her sadness。 〃Yes；〃 she said； slowly getting up； near tears。 〃Yes； I suppose I am。〃
〃Jesus； Orlanda。〃 He went over to her and held her。 〃I didn't mean it that way。 I didn't mean it rotten。〃
〃Linc； I'm not trying to tease or play games or be diffic… 〃
〃I understand。 Hell； I'm not a child and I'm not pushing or 。。。 I'm not either。〃
〃Oh； oh I'm so glad。 For a moment 。。。〃 She looked up and her innocence melted him。 〃You're not mad at me； Linc？ I mean I 。。。 I didn't ask you up； you really insisted on ing。〃
〃I know；〃 he said； holding her in his arms； and he was thinking； It's the truth； and also the truth that I want you now and I don't know what you are； who you are but I want you。 But what do I want from you？ What do I really want？ Do I want magic？ Or just a lay？ Are you the magic I've been seeking forever or just another broad？ How do you stack against Casey？ Do I measure loyalty against the silk of your skin？ Remember how Casey said once； 〃Love consists of many things； Linc； only one part of love's sex。 Only one。 Think of all the other parts。 Judge a woman by her love； yes； but understand what a woman is。〃 But her warmth was going through him； her face against his chest and once more he felt himself stirring。 He kissed her neck； not wanting to withhold his passion。
〃What are you； Orlanda？〃
〃I'm 。。。 I can only tell you what I'm not；〃 she said in her tiny voice。 〃I'm not a tease。 I don't want you to think that I'm trying to tease you。 I like you； like you very much but I'm not a 。。。 I'm not a one…night stand。〃
〃I know。 Jesus； what put that into your head？〃 He saw her eyes were glistening。 〃No need for tears。 None。 Okay？〃
〃Yes。〃 She moved away and opened her purse and took out a tissue and used it。 〃Ayeeyah； I'm acting like a teen…ager or a vestal virgin。 Sorry； but it was rather sudden and I wasn't prepared for 。。。 I felt myself going。〃 She took a deep breath。 〃Abject apologies。〃
He laughed。 〃Refused。〃
〃Thank God！〃 She watched him。 〃Actually； Linc； I can usually handle the strong； the meek； and the cunning … even the very cunning … without too much trouble。 I guess I've known every kind of pass it's possible for a girl to have and I've always figured I've an automatic game plan to counter them almost before they begin。 But with you 。。。〃 She hesitated； then added； 〃Sorry； but almost every man I meet； well； it's always the same。〃
〃That's wrong？〃
〃No； but it's trying to walk into a room or a restaurant and feel those leering eyes。 I wonder how men would handle it。 You're young and handsome。 What would you do if women did it to you everywhere you went。 Say when you walked through the lobby of the V and A this morning you saw every woman of every age； from false…toothed old grannies； bewigged harpies； the fat； the ugly； the coarse； all of them； all openly leering at you； undressing you mentally； openly trying to get close； trying to stroke your behind； openly ogling your chest or crotch； most of them with bad breath； most of them sweating and foul…smelling； and you know they're imagining you in their bed； enthusiastically and happily doing the most intimate things to them。〃
〃I wouldn't like it at all。 Casey said the same thing in different words when she first joined me。 I know what you mean； Orlanda。 At least I can imagine it。 But that's the way the world's made。〃
〃Yes； and sometimes it's awful。 Oh I don't want to be a man； Linc； I'm very happy to be a woman； but it's really quite awful sometimes。 To know you're thought of as just a receptacle that can be bought； and that after it all you're to say thank you very much to the corpulent old lecher with the bad breath and accept your twenty…dollar bill and sneak off like a thief in the night。〃
He frowned。 〃How did we get on this kick？〃
She laughed。 〃You kissed me。〃
He grinned； glad they were happy together。 〃That's right。 So maybe I deserved the lecture。 I'm guilty as charged。 Now； about that kiss you promised me。 。。。〃 But he did not move。 He was feeling his way； probing。 Everything's changed now； he thought。 Sure I wanted to … what did she call it？ To pillow。 Sure。 Still do； more than before。 But now we're changed。 Now we're in a different game。 I don't know if I want in。 The rules've changed。 Before it was simple。 Now maybe it's more simple。 〃You're pretty。 Did I mention you were pretty？〃 he said； avoiding the issue that she wanted out in the open。
〃I was going to talk about that kiss。 You see； Linc； the truth is I just wasn't prepared for the way； to be honest； the way I； I was swamped； I guess that's the word。〃
He let the word linger。 〃Is that good or bad？〃
〃Both。〃 Her eyes crinkled with her smile。 〃Yes； swamped with my own desire。 You're something else； Mr。 Bartlett； and that's also very bad； or very good。 I； I enjoyed your kiss。〃
〃So did I。〃 Again he grinned at her。 〃You can call me Linc。〃 After a pause she said； 〃I've never felt so wanting and swamped； and because of that very frightened。〃
〃No need to be frightened；〃 he said。 But he was wondering what to do。 His instincts said leave。 His instincts said stay。 Wisdom told him to say nothing and wait。 He could hear his heart beating and the rain hammering the windows。 Better to go； he thought。 〃Orlanda； guess it's ab… 〃
〃Do you have time to talk？ Just a little？〃 she asked； sensing his indecision。
〃Sure。 Sure； of course。〃
Her fingers brushed her hair from her face。 〃I wanted to tell you about me。 Quillan was my father's boss in Shanghai and I seem to have known him all my life。 He helped pay for my education； particularly in the States and he was always very kind to me and my family … I've four sisters and a brother and I'm the oldest and they're all in Portugal now。 When I came back to Shanghai from San Francisco after I'd graduated； I was seventeen； almost eighteen and 。。。 Well he's an attractive man； to me he is； though very cruel sometimes。 Very。〃
〃How？〃
〃He believes in personal vengeance； that vengeance is a man's right； if he's a man。 Quillan's very much a man。 He was always good to me； still is。〃 She studied him。 〃Quillan still gives me an allowance； still pays for this apartment。〃
〃You don't have to tell me anything。〃
〃I know。 But I'd like to … if you want to listen。 Then you can decide。〃
He studied her。 〃All right。〃
〃You see； part of it's because I'm Eurasian。 Most Europeans despise us； openly or secretly； particularly the British here … Linc； just hear me out。 Most Europeans despise Eurasians。 All Chinese do。 So we're always on the defensive； almost always suspect； almost always presumed to be illegitimate； and certainly an easy lay。 God how I loathe that Americanism！ How rotten and vulgar and cheap it really is。 And revealing about the American male … though； strangely； it was in the States that I gained my self…respect and got over my Eurasian guilt。 Quillan taught me lots and formed me in lots of ways。 I'm beholden to him。 But I don't love him。 That's what I wanted to say。 Would you like more coffee？〃
〃Sure； thanks。〃
〃I'll make some fresh。〃 She got up； her walk unconsciously sensuous and again he cursed