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at； you say； has a most foul odor； to warn off any from consuming it。 Such we can say of Lady Thyme also； and so perhaps she smelled it not； or deemed it but the perfume of her fingers。 Mourn not； poor Fitz； another shall be found for you。 To this I shall devote myself； this very day！ I swear it； by Sir Ratsy's skull。 And now I bid you hasten on your tasks； for in truth I have delayed mine much too long。 Farewell； poor Fitz。 Brave； sad heart！ To put so bold a face on your desolation！ Poor disconsolate youth！ Ah； Fitz； poor poor Fitz 。。。〃
And he wandered off down the hall from me； shaking his head woefully； and conferring with Ratsy as to which elderly dowager he should court on my behalf。 I stared in disbelief after him。 I felt betrayed； that he could make so public a spectacle of me。 Sharp…tongued and flighty as the Fool could be； I had never expected to be the public butt of one of his jokes。 I kept waiting for him to turn around and say some last thing that would make me understand what had just happened。 He did not。 When he turned a corner； I perceived that my ordeal was finally at an end。 I proceeded down the hallway； fuming with embarrassment and dazed with puzzlement at the same time。 The doggerel of his rhymes had stored his words in my head； and I knew that I would ponder his love song much in days to e； to try to worry out the meanings hidden there。 But Lady Thyme？ Surely he would not say such a thing； were it not 〃true。〃 But why would Chade allow his public persona to die in such a way？ What poor woman's body would be carried out as Lady Thyme； no doubt to be carted off to distant relatives for burial？ Was this his method of beginning his journey； a way to leave the Keep unseen？ But again； why let her be dead？ So that Regal might believe he had succeeded in his poisoning？ To what end？
Thus bemused； I finally came to the doors of Kettricken's chamber。 I stood in the hall a moment； to recover my aplomb and pose my face。 Suddenly the door across the hall flung open and Regal strode into me。 His momentum jostled me aside； and before I could recover myself； he grandly offered； 〃It's all right； Fitz。 I scarcely expect an apology from one so bereaved as yourself。〃 He stood in the hallway； straightening his jerkin as the young men following him emerged from his chamber； tittering in amusement。 He smiled 'round at them； and then leaned close to me to ask； in a quietly venomous voice； 〃Where will you suckle up now that the old whore Thyme is dead？ Ah； well。 I am sure you will find some other old woman to coddle you。 Or are you e to wheedle up to a younger one now？〃 He dared to smile at me； before he wheeled on his heel and strode off in a fine flutter of sleeves； trailed by his three sycophants。
The insult to the Queen poisoned me into rage。 It came with a suddenness such as I had never experienced。 I felt my chest and throat swell with it。 A terrible strength rushed through me； I know my upper lip lifted in a snarl。 From afar I sensed； What？ What is it？ Kill it！ Kill it！ Kill it！ I took a step； the next would have been a spring； and I know my teeth would have sunk into the place where throat meets shoulder。
But： 〃FitzChivalry；〃 said a voice； full of surprise。
Molly's voice！ I turned to her； my emotions wrenching from rage to delight at seeing her。 But as swiftly she was turning aside； saying； 〃Beg pardon； my lord；〃 and brushing past me。 Her eyes were down； her manner that of a servant。
〃Molly？〃 I called； stepping after her。 She paused。 When she looked back at me； her face was empty of emotion； her voice neutral。
〃Sir？ Had you an errand for me？〃
〃An errand？〃 Of course。 I glanced about us； but the corridor was empty。 I took a step toward her； pitched my voice low for her ears only。 〃No。 I've just missed you so。 Molly； I…〃
〃This is not seemly； sir。 I beg you to excuse me。〃 She turned； proudly； calmly； and walked away from me。
〃What did I do？〃 I demanded； in angry consternation。 I did not really expect an answer。 But she paused。 Her blue clothed back was straight； her head erect under her tatted haircloth。 She did not turn back to me； but said quietly； to the corridor； 〃Nothing。 You did nothing at all； my lord。 Absolutely nothing。〃
〃Molly！〃 I protested； but she turned the corner and was gone。 I stood staring after her。 After a moment I realized I was making a sound somewhere between a whine and a growl。
Let us go hunting instead。
Perhaps； I found myself agreeing； that would be the best thing。 To go hunting； to kill； to eat； to sleep。 And to do no more than that。
Why not now？
I don't really know。
I posed myself and knocked at Kettricken's door。 It was opened by little Rosemary； who dimpled a smile at me as she invited me in。 Once within； Molly's errand here was evident。 Kettricken was holding a fat green candle under her nose。 On the table were several others。 〃Bayberry；〃 I observed。
Kettricken looked up with a smile。 〃FitzChivalry。 Wele。 e in and be seated。 May I offer you food？ Wine？〃
I stood looking at her。 A sea change。 I felt her strength； knew she stood in the center of herself。 She was dressed in a soft gray tunic and leggings。 Her hair was dressed in her customary way。 Her jewelry was simple； a single necklace of green and blue stone beads。 But this was not the woman I had brought back to the Keep a few days ago。 That woman had been distressed； angry； hurt； and confused。 This Kettricken welled serenity。
〃My queen；〃 I began hesitantly。
〃Kettricken；〃 she corrected me calmly。 She moved about the room； setting some of the candles on shelves。 It was almost a challenge in that she did not say more。
I came farther into her sitting room。 She and Rosemary were the only occupants。 Verity had once plained to me that her chambers had the precision of a military encampment。 It had not been an exaggeration。 The simple furnishings were spotlessly clean。 The heavy tapestries and rugs that furnished most of Buckkeep were missing here。 Simple mats of straw were on the floor； and frames supported parchment screens painted with delicate sprays of flowers and trees。 There was no clutter at all。 In this room； all was finished and put away； or not yet begun。 That is the only way I can describe the stillness I felt there。
I had e in a roil of conflicting emotions。 Now I stood still and silent； my breathing steadying and my heart calming。 One corner of the chamber had been turned into an alcove walled with the parchment screens。 Here there was a rug of green wool on the floor； and low padded benches such as I had seen in the mountains。 Kettricken placed the green bayberry candle behind one of the screens。 She kindled it with a flame from the hearth。 The dancing candlelight behind the screen gave the life and warmth of a sunrise to the painted scene。 Kettricken walked around to sit on one of the low benches within the alcove。 She indicated the bench opposite hers。 〃Will you join me？〃
I did。 The gently lit screen； the illusion of a small private room； and the sweet scent of bayberry surrounded me。 The low bench was oddly fortable。 It took me a moment to recall the purpose of my visit。 〃My queen； I thought you might like to learn some of the games of chance we play at Buckkeep。 So you could join in when the other folk are amusing themselves。〃
〃Perhaps another time；〃 she said kindly。 〃If you and I wish to amuse ourselves； and if it would please you to teach me the game。 But for those reasons only。 I have found the old adages to be true。 One can only walk so far from one's true self before the bond either snaps； or pulls one back。 I am fortunate。 I have been pulled back。 I walk once more in trueness to myself； FitzChivalry。 That is what you sense today。〃
〃I don't understand。〃
She smiled。 〃You don't need to。〃
She fell silent again。 Little Rosemary had gone to sit by the hearth。 She took up her slate and chalk as if to amuse herself。 Even that child's normal merriment seemed placid today。 I turned back to Kettricken and waited。 But she only sat looking at me； a bemused smile on her face。
After a moment or two； I asked； 〃What are we doing？〃
〃Nothing；〃 Kettricken said。
I copied her silence。 After a long time she observed； 〃Our own ambitions and tasks that we set for ourselves； the framework we attempt to impose upon the world； is no more than a shadow of a tree cast across the snow。 It will change as the sun moves； be swallowed in the night； sway with the wind； and when the smooth snow vanishes； it will lie distorted upon the uneven earth。 But the tree continues to be。 Do you understand that？〃 She leaned forward slightly to look into my face。 Her eyes were kind。
〃I think so；〃 I said uneasily。 。
She gave me a look almost of pity。 〃You would if you stopped trying to understand it； if you gave up worrying about why this is important to me； and simply tried to see if it is an idea that has worth in your own life。 But I do not bid you to do that。 I bid no one do anything here。〃
She sat back again； a gentle loosening that made her straight spine seem effortless and restful。 Again she did nothing。 She simply sat ac