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I was the hunter； bringing him back a portion of my kill。 I quested toward him and found that； for him； our separateness was fading。 We were pack。 It was a concept I had never encountered before； going deeper than panion or partner。 I feared that to him it meant what bonding did to me。 I could not permit it。
〃I am a human。 You are a wolf。〃 I spoke the words aloud； knowing he would； get their meaning from my thoughts； but trying to force him to know in all his senses our differences。
Outwardly。 Inside； we are pack。 He paused and licked his nose placently。 Blood dotted his forepaws。
〃No。 I feed you and protect you here。 But only for a time。 When you are able to hunt for yourself； I will take you to a far place and leave you there。〃
I have never hunted。
〃I will teach you。〃
That； too； is of the pack。 You will teach me； and I will hunt with you。 We will share many kills and much rich meat。
I will teach you to hunt； and then I will set you free。
I am already free。 You do not hold me here； save that I will it。 He lolled his tongue out over white teeth； laughing at my assumption。
You are arrogant； Cub。 And ignorant。
So teach me。 He turned his head sideways to let his back teeth scissor meat and tendon from the bone he was working on。 It is your pack duty。
We are not pack。 I have no pack。 My allegiance is to my king。
If he is your leader； then he is mine also。 We are pack。 As his belly filled he was being more and more placent about it。
I changed tactics。 Coldly I told him； I am of a pack that you cannot be part of。 In my pack； all are humans。 You are not a human。 You are a wolf。 We are not pack。
A stillness welled in him。 He did not try to reply。 But he felt； and what he felt chilled me。 Isolation； and betrayal。 Loneliness。
I turned and left him there。 But I could not hide from him how hard it was for me to leave him like that； nor conceal the deep shame at refusing him。 I hoped he sensed also that I believed it was what was best for him。 Much； I reflected； as Burrich had felt it was best for me when he took Nosy away from me because I had bonded to the puppy。 The thought burned me and I did not just hasten away； I fled。
Evening was falling as I returned to the Keep and made my way up the stairs。 I visited my room for certain bundles I had left there； and then made my way downstairs again。 My traitorous feet slowed as I passed the second landing。 I knew that very shortly Molly would be ing this way； bearing away the tray and dishes from Patience's meal。 Patience seldom chose to dine in the hall with the other lords and ladies of the Keep； preferring the privacy of her own rooms and Lacey's easy panionship。 Her shyness had begun to take on overtones of reclusiveness lately。 But it was not concern over that which kept me loitering on the stairs。 I heard the tap of Molly's feet ing down the hall； I knew I should move on； but it had been days since I had even glimpsed her。 Celerity's shy flirtations had only made me more acutely aware of how I missed Molly。 Surely it could not be too much for me simply to wish her good evening as I might any other servant girl。 I knew I should not； I knew that if Patience heard of it； I would be rebuked。 And yet。。。
I pretended to be studying a tapestry on the landing； a tapestry that had hung there since before I had ever e to Buckkeep。 I heard her footsteps approaching； I heard them slow。 My heart was thundering high in my chest； the palms of my hands were moist with sweat as I turned to see her。 〃Good evening；〃 I managed； between a squeak and a whisper。
〃Good evening to you；〃 she said with great dignity。 Her head went up a notch higher； her chin firmed。 Her hair had been tamed into two thick braids and pinned about her head like a crown。 Her dress of simple blue had a collar of delicate white lace； and there were lace cuffs to it as well。 I knew whose fingers had worked that scalloped pattern。 Lacey treated her well and gifted her with the work of her hands。 That was good to know。
Molly did not falter as she passed me。 Her eyes skittered sideways to me once； and I could not forbear to smile； and at my smile a blush so warm suffused her face and throat that almost I felt the heat of it。 Her mouth went into a firmer line。 As she turned and descended the stairs her scent wafted back to me； lemon balm and ginger riding on the sweeter scent that was simply Molly's own。
Female。 Nice。 Vast approval。
I leaped as if stung and spun about； expecting foolishly to discover Cub behind me。 He was not； of course。 I quested out； but he was not with me in my mind。 I quested farther； found him dozing on his straw in the hut。 Don't do that； I warned him。 Stay out of my mind； unless I bid you be with me。
Consternation。 What is it you bid me do？
Do not be with me； except when I wish you to。
Then how would I know when you wished me to be with you？
I will seek your mind when I want you。
A long quiet。 And I shall seek yours when I want you； he offered。 Yes； this is pack。 To call when one needs help； and to be always ready to hear such a call。 We are pack。
No！ That is not what I am telling you。 I am saying you must keep out of my mind when I do not wish you to be there。 I do not wish to be always sharing thoughts with you。
You make no sense at all。 Shall I only breathe when you are not snuffing the air？ Your mind； my mind； it is all the pack mind。 Where else shall I think； but here？ If you do not wish to hear me； do not listen。
I stood dumbfounded； trying to make sense of the thought。 I realized I was staring off into space。 A serving boy had just wished me good evening； and I had offered no response。 〃Good evening；〃 I replied； but he had already passed me。 He glanced back in puzzlement； to see if he was summoned； but I waved him on。 I shook my head to clear it of cobwebs and started down the hall to Patience's room。 I would discuss it with Cub later； and make him understand。 And soon he would be off on his own； out of touch； out of mind。 I pushed the experience aside。
I tapped at Patience's door and was admitted。 I saw that Lacey had gone on one of her periodic rampages and restored a sort of order to the room。 There was even a cleared chair to sit upon。 They were both glad to see me。 I told them of my trip to Bearns； avoiding any mention of Virago。 I knew that eventually Patience would hear of it； and confront me about it； and I would then assure her that gossip had greatly exaggerated our encounter。 I hoped that would work。 In the meantime I had brought gifts back with me。 Tiny ivory fish； drilled to be strung as beads or attached to a garment for Lacey； and for Patience amber…and…silver earrings。 An earthenware pot of wintergreen berries preserved and sealed with a lid of wax。
〃Wintergreen？ I've no taste for wintergreen；〃 Patience puzzled when I offered it to her。
〃Haven't you？〃 I feigned puzzlement as well。 〃I thought you told me it was a flavor and scent you missed from your childhood。 Did not you have an uncle who brought you wintergreen？〃
〃No。 I recall no such conversation。〃
〃Perhaps it was Lacey； then？〃 I asked sincerely。
〃Not I； master。 Stings my nose to taste it； though it has a nice scent in the air。〃
〃Ah； well； then。 My mistake。〃 I set it aside on the table。
〃What； Snowflake？ Not pregnant again？〃 This I addressed to Patience's white terrier who had finally decided to e forth and sniff at me。 I could sense her doggy little mind puzzling over Cub's scent on me。
〃No； she's just getting fat；〃 Lacey interjected for her； stooping to scratch her behind the ears。 〃My lady leaves sweetmeats and cookies about on plates； and Snowflake is always getting at them。〃
〃You know you shouldn't let her。 It's very bad for her teeth and coat；〃 I rebuked Patience； and she replied that she knew it； but Snowflake was too old to be taught better。 The conversation rambled from there； and it was another hour before I stretched and told them I must be going； to try once more to report to the King。
〃I was earlier turned aside from his door；〃 I mentioned。 〃Though not by any guard。 His man Wallace came to the door when I knocked； to refuse me entry。 When I asked why there was no guard on the King's door； he said they had been relieved of that duty。 He had assumed it himself； the better to keep things quiet for the King。〃
〃The King's not well； you know；〃 Lacey offered。 〃I've heard that he's seldom seen out of his chambers before noon。 Then； when he es forth； he is like a man possessed； full of energy and appetite； but by early evening； he fades again； and begins to shuffle and mumble his words。 He takes his dinner in his rooms； and cook says the tray es back as full as it went up。 It's quite a worry。〃
〃It is；〃 I agreed； and made my departure； almost dreading to hear more。 So the King's health was now talk for the Keep。 That was not good。 I must ask Chade about it。 And I must see for myself。 In my earlier attempt to report to the King； I had encountered only the officious Wallace。 Wallace had been most brusque with me； as if I wer