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He set down his wineglass and turned to look at me。 〃Must you？〃 he asked in an odd tone。
I looked up and met his eyes。 I swallowed。 I brought myself to my feet。 〃My prince；〃 I began formally。 〃I would ask your kind permission to be excused from duties tomorrow； that I might 。。。 pursue errands of my own。〃
He let me stand for a moment。 Then： 〃Oh； sit down； Fitz。 Petty。 I suppose that was petty of me。 Thinking of Regal puts me in such a frame of mind。 Certainly you can have the day； boy。 If anyone asks； you are on my business。 Might I ask what this urgent errand is？〃
I looked into the fire at the leaping flames。 〃My friend was living in Siltbay。 I need to find out…〃
〃Oh； Fitz。〃 There was more sympathy in Verity's voice than I could withstand。
A sudden wave of weariness washed over me。 I was glad to sit again。 My hands began to tremble。 I put them below the table and clasped them to still them。 I still felt the tremors； but at least no one could see my weakness now。
He cleared his throat。 〃Go to your room and rest；〃 he said kindly。 〃Do you want a man to ride with you to Siltbay tomorrow？〃
I shook my head dumbly； suddenly and miserably certain of what I would discover。 The thought made me sick。 Another shudder went through me。 I tried to breathe slowly； to calm myself and edge back from the fit that threatened。 I could not abide the thought of shaming myself that way before Verity。
〃Shame to me； not you； to have ignored how ill you have been。〃 He had arisen silently。 He set his glass of wine before me。 〃The damage you took was taken for me。 I am appalled by what I allowed to befall you。〃
I forced myself to meet Verity's eyes。 He knew all that I tried to conceal。 Knew it； and was miserable with guilt。
〃It is not often this bad；〃 I offered him。
He smiled at me； but his eyes did not change。 〃You are an excellent liar； Fitz。 Do not think your training has gone awry。 But you cannot lie to a man who has been with you as much as I have； not just these last few days； but often during your illness。 If any other man says to you； ‘I know just how you feel；' you may regard it as a politeness。 But from me accept it as truth。 And I know that with you it is as it is with Burrich。 I shall not offer you the pick of the colts a few months hence。 I do offer you my arm； if you wish it； to get back to your room。〃
〃I can manage；〃 I said stiffly。 I was aware of how he honored me； but also of how plainly he saw my weakness。 I wanted to be alone； to hide myself。
He nodded； understanding。 〃Would that you had mastered the Skill。 I could offer you strength； just as I have too often taken it from you。〃
〃I could not；〃 I muttered； unable to mask how distasteful I would find the drawing off of another man's strength to replace my own。 I instantly regretted the moment of shame I saw in my prince's eyes。
〃I； too； could once speak with such pride；〃 he said quietly。 〃Go get some rest； boy。〃 He turned slowly aside from me。 He busied himself setting out his inks and his vellum once more。 I left quietly。
We had been closeted for the whole day。 Outside； it was full dark。 The castle had the settled air of a winter's evening。 The tables cleared； the folk would be gathered about the hearths in the Great Hall。 Minstrels might be singing； or a puppeteer moving his gangly charges through a story。 Some folk would watch while fletching arrows； some would be plying needles； children would be spinning tops or matching markers or drowsing against their parents' knees or shoulders。 All was secure。 Outside； the winter storms blew and kept us safe。
I walked with a drunkard's caution； avoiding the mon areas where folk had gathered for the evening。 I folded my arms and hunched my shoulders as if chilled； and so stilled the trembling in my arms。 I climbed the first flight of stairs slowly； as if lost in thought。 On the landing I permitted myself to pause for a count of ten； then forced myself to begin the next flight。
But as I set my foot to the first step； Lacey came bounding down。 A plump woman more than a score of years older than myself； she still moved down the steps with a child's skipping gait。 As she reached the bottom she seized me with a cry of 〃There you are！〃 as if I were a pair of shears she'd misplaced from her sewing basket。 She clutched my arm firmly and turned me toward the hall。 〃I've been up and down those stairs a dozen times today if I've been once。 My； you've gotten taller。 Lady Patience has not been at all herself and it's your fault。 At first she expected you to tap on the door any moment。 She was so pleased you were finally home。〃 She paused to look up at me with her bright bird eyes。 〃That was this morning；〃 she confided。 Then： 〃You have been ill！ Such circles under your eyes。〃
Without giving me a chance to reply； she went on； 〃By early afternoon； when you hadn't arrived； she began to be insulted and a bit cross。 By dinner she was in such a temper over your rudeness she could scarcely eat。 Since then； she's decided to believe the rumors about how sick you've been。 She's sure that you've either collapsed somewhere； or that Burrich has kept you down in the stables cleaning up after horses and dogs despite your health。 Now； here we are； in you go； I have him； my lady。〃 And she whisked me into Patience's chambers。
Lacey's chatter had an odd undertone to it； as if she avoided something。 I entered hesitantly； wondering if Patience herself had been ill or if some misfortune had befallen her。 If either were so； then it hadn't affected her living habits at all。 Her chambers were much as they always were。 All her greenery had grown and twined and dropped leaves。 A new layer of sudden interests overlay all the discarded ones in the room。 Two doves had been added to her menagerie。 A dozen or so horseshoes were scattered about the room。 A fat bayberry candle burned on the table； giving off a pleasant scent； but dripping wax onto some dried flowers and herbs on a tray beside it。 Some oddly carved little sticks in a bundle were also threatened。 They appeared to be fortune…telling sticks such as the Chyurda used。 As I entered； her tough little terrier bitch came up to greet me。 I stooped to pat her； then wondered if I could stand again。 To cover my delay； I carefully picked up a tablet from the floor。 It was a rather old one； and probably rare； on the use of the fortune…telling sticks。 Patience turned away from her loom to greet me。
〃Oh； get up and stop being ridiculous；〃 she exclaimed at seeing me crouch。 〃Going down on one knee is idiocy。 Or did you think it would make me forget how rude you've been in not ing to see me right away。 What's that you've brought me？ Oh； how thoughtful！ How did you know I'd been studying them？ You know； I've searched all the castle's libraries and not found much on the predicting sticks at all！〃
She took the tablet from my hand and smiled up at me at the supposed gift。 Over her shoulder； Lacey winked at me。 I gave a minuscule shrug in return。 I glanced back at Lady Patience； who set the tablet atop a teetering stack of tablets。 She turned back to me。 For a moment she regarded me warmly； then she called up a frown to her face。 Her brows gathered over her hazel eyes； while her small straight mouth held a firm line。 The effect of her reproving look was rather spoiled by the fact that she came just to my shoulder now； and that she had two ivy leaves stuck in her hair。 〃Excuse me；〃 I said； and boldly plucked them from the unruly dark curls。 She took them from my hand seriously； as if they were important； and set them atop the tablet。
〃Where have you been； all these months； when you were needed here？〃 she demanded。 〃Your uncle's bride arrived months ago。 You've missed the formal wedding； you've missed the feasting and the dancing and the gathering of the nobles。 Here I am； expending all my energies to see that you are treated as the son of a Prince； and there you are； avoiding all your social obligations。 And when you do get home； you don't e to see me； but go all about the Keep where anyone else might talk to you； dressed like a ragged tinker。 Whatever possessed you to cut your hair like that？〃 My father's wife； once horrified to discover that he had sired a bastard before they were wed； had gone from abhorring me to aggressively bettering me。 Sometimes that was more difficult to deal with than if she had ostracized me。 Now she demanded； 〃Had you no thought that you might have social duties here that were more important than gallivanting about with Burrich looking at horses？〃
〃I am sorry； my lady。〃 Experience had taught me never to argue with Patience。 Her eccentricity had delighted Prince Chivalry。 It drove me to distraction on a good day。 Tonight I felt overwhelmed by it。 〃For a time I was ill。 I did not feel well enough to travel。 By the time I recovered； the weather delayed us。 I am sorry to have missed the wedding。〃
〃And that was all？ That was the sole reason for your delay？〃 She spoke sharply； as if suspecting some heinous deception。
〃It was；〃 I answered gravely。 〃But I did think of you。 I have something for you； out in my packs。 I haven't brought