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〃Yes； but it can't be that simple；〃 she said emphatically。 〃Ineluki…was he good？ Bad？ He tried to do what was right for his people。 I just don't know any more。〃
Binabik paused； then reached out a small hand to take hers。 〃Your questions are sensible ones； and I am not thinking that we should hate。。。 our enemy。 But do not be naming him； please！〃 He squeezed her fingers for emphasis。 〃And make yourself assured of one thing： whatever he was being once； he has now bee a dangerous thing； more dangerous than anything you know or can be thinking about。 Do not be forgetting that！ He wilt kill us and all of the people we love if his wishes are done。 Of that I have certainty。〃
And my father？ she wondered。 Is he only an enemy now； too？ What if somehow I find my way to him； but there is nothing left of what I loved？ That will be like dying。 I won't care what happens to me then。
And then it came to her。 It was not that God was not watching； it was that no one was going to tell her right from wrong； she had not even the solace of doing something just because someone else had ordered her not to。 Whatever decisions she made； she would have to make herself； then live by them。
She held Binabik's hand for a moment longer before they resumed walking。 At least she had the pany of a friend。 What would it be like to be alone in such a place？
By the time they had slept three times in the ruins of Asu'a； even its crumbling magnificence could no longer hold Miriamele's attention。 The dark halls seemed to breed memories…unimportant pictures of her childhood in Meremund； her days as a captive princess in the Hayholt。 She felt herself suspended between the Sithi's past and her own。
They found a wide staircase leading upward； an expanse of dusty steps with balusters carved into the form of rose hedges。 When Binabik's inspection of the map suggested that this was part of their path； she felt a rush of happiness。 They would be going upward； after so long in the depths！
But something more than an hour plodding up the apparently endless stairs soon cooled even that excitement； Miriamele's mind went wandering again。
Simon is gone； and I never had a chance to 。。。 to really talk to him。 Did I love him？ It would never have e to anything…how could he care for me after I told him about Aspitis？ But perhaps we could have been friends。 But did I love him？
She looked down at her booted feet； climbing； climbing； the stairs passing beneath her like a slow waterfall。
It's useless to wonder 。。。 but I suppose I did。 Thinking this； she felt something vast and unformed struggling inside her； grief that threatened to turn into madness。 She fought it down； afraid of its strength。 Oh； God； is this all there is to life？ To have something precious and to realize it only after it's too late？
She almost stumbled over Binabik； who had stopped abruptly on the step above her； his head nearly even with hers。 The troll lifted a hand to his mouth； warning her to be silent。
They had just mounted past a landing where several archways led outward from the staircase； and at first Miriamele thought the quiet noise must e from one of them； but Binabik pointed up the stairwell。 His meaning was clear： someone else was on the stairs。
Miriamele's contemplative mood evaporated。 Who could be walking these dead halls？ Simon？ That seemed too much to hope。 But who else would be roaming the shadow…world？ The restless dead？
Even as they backed down toward the landing； Binabik fumbled his walking…stick into two pieces； pulling free the section that held a knife blade。 Miriamele felt for her own knife as the sound of footfalls grew louder。 Binabik shrugged off his pack and dropped it quietly to the stone floor near Miriamele's feet。
A shape came down the darkened stairwell； moving slowly and confidently into the torchlight。 Miriamele felt her heart pressing against her ribs。 It was a man； one she had not seen before。 In the depths of his hood； his eyes bulged as though with surprise or fright； but his teeth were bared in a bizarre grin。
A moment passed before Binabik gasped in recognition。 〃Hangfish！〃
〃You know him？〃 Her voice sounded shrill to her； the quaver of a frightened little girl。
The troll held the knife before him as a priest might a holy Tree。 〃What do you want； Rimmersman？〃 he demanded。 〃Are you lost？〃
The smiling man did not reply； but stretched his arms wide and took another step downward。 There was something terribly but indefinably wrong about him。
〃Get away； you！〃 she cried。 Involuntarily； she took another step backward toward one of the arched doorways。 〃Binabik； who is he？〃
〃I know who he was；〃 the troll said； still brandishing the knife。 〃But I am thinking he has bee something else。。。〃
Before Binabik had finished speaking； the pop…eyed man moved； scuttling down the stairs with shocking speed。 In an eye…blink he had closed with the troll； grabbing the wrist of Binabik's knife hand and wrapping his other arm around the little man。 After a moment's struggle； the two tumbled to the floor and rolled off the landing to the steps below。 Binabik's torch flew free andbounced down the stairs ahead of them。 The troll gasped and grunted with pain； but the other was silent。
Miriamele had scarcely an instant to stare open…mouthed before several large hands snaked out of the shadowy archway and folded around her； seizing her wrists and clutching at her waist； the fingers rough but somehow tentative where they touched her skin。 Her own torch was knocked to the ground。 Before she had finished drawing breath to shout her alarm； something was pulled down over her head； shutting out the light。 A sweet odor filled her nose and she felt herself slipping away； half…formed questions dissolving； everything fading。
〃Why will you not e and sit beside me？〃 said Nessalanta； like a spoiled child denied a treat。 〃I have not spoken to you for days。〃
Benigaris turned from the railing of the rooftop garden。 Below him； the first fires of evening had been lit。 Great Nabban twinkled in the lavender twilight。 〃I have been occupied。 Mother。 Perhaps it has escaped your attention that we are at war。〃
〃We have been at war before；〃 she said airily。 〃Merciful God； such things never change； Benigaris。 You wanted to rule。 You must grow up and accept the burdens that e with it。〃
〃Grow up； is it？〃 Benigaris turned from the railing with his fists clenched tight。 〃It is you who are the child； Mother。 Do you not see what is happening？ A week ago we lost the Onestrine Pass。 Today I have been told that Aspitis Preves has taken to his heels and Eadne Province has fallen！ We are losing this war； damn you！ If I had gone myself instead of sending that idiot brother of mine 。。。〃
〃You are not to say a word against Varellan；〃 Nessalanta snapped。 〃Is it his fault that your legion was full of superstitious peasants who believe in ghosts？〃
Benigaris stared at her for a long moment； there was no love in his gaze。 〃It is Camaris；〃 he said quietly。
〃What？〃
〃It is Camaris out there； Mother。 You can say anything you wish； but I have heard the reports from the men who； have been on the battlefield。 If it is not him； then it is one of our ancestors' old war gods returned to earth。〃
〃Camaris is dead；〃 she sniffed。
〃Did he elude some trap you set for him？〃 Benigaris moved a few steps closer。 〃Is that how my father became duke of Nabban in the first place…because you arranged to have Camaris killed？ If so； it appears you failed。 Perhaps for once you chose the wrong tool。〃
Nessalanta's face contorted in fury。 〃There are no tools in this country strong enough for my will。 Don't I know that！〃 She stared at her son。 'They are all weak； all dull…edged。 Blessed Ransomer； if only I had been born a man…then none of this would have happened！ We would not be bowing to any northern king on a chair of bones。〃
〃Spare me your dreams of glory； Mother。 What did you arrange for Camaris？ Whatever it was； he seems to have survived it。〃
〃I did nothing to Camaris。〃 The dowager duchess rearranged her skirts； recovering a little of her calm。 〃I admit that I was not unhappy when he fell into the ocean…for a strong man； he was the weakest of all。 Quite unsuitable to rule。 But I had nothing to do with it。〃
〃I almost believe you； Mother。 Almost。〃 Benigaris smiled thinly。 He turned to find one of his courtiers standing in the doorway； looking out with poorly…hidden apprehension。 〃Yes？ What do you want？〃
〃There 。。。 there are many folk asking for you； my lord。 You said you wished to be told 。。。〃
〃Yes； yes。 Who is waiting？〃
〃The Niskie； for one； my lord。 He is still outside the audience chamber。〃
〃Have I not enough to occupy me？ Why won't he take the hint and go？ What does the damned sea…watcher want； anyway？〃
The courtier shook his head。 The long feather in his cap swayed before his face； fluttered by the evening breeze。 〃He will not speak to any but you； Duke Benigaris。〃
〃Then he will sit there until he dries out and lies gasping on the floor。 I have no time to listen to Niskie chatter。