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now now that many of them are still among the living。 One in particular。〃 She steadied herself。 〃I loved him…loved him until I was sick with it。 And perhaps he even cared for me a little and I was too stupidly prideful to see it 。。。 but that is not important now。〃 Her voice grew ragged。 〃No； that is not true。 There is nothing in the living world more important to me than that love…but it is not to be。 I would not go back and start again； even if I could。〃
Her pain was so great that Simon was left without words。 There were some things that could not be made better； he realized。 Some sorrows were irreparable。
〃But I believe that you must go back；〃 she said。 〃It is different for you； Simon。 And I am glad to know that； to find that there are still those who wish to live in the world。 I would not wish the way I feel on anyone。 Return； Simon。 Save those you love if you can…and those I love； too。〃
〃But I can't。〃 And now his thwarted anger at last gave way to desolation。 There was no way to return。 He and Maegwin would be here discussing the minutiae of their lives for eternity。 〃I don't know why I even said it； because I can't。 I've tried。 I don't have the strength to find my body again。〃
'Try。 Try once more。〃
〃Don't you think I did？ Don't you believe I tried as hard as I could？ It's out of my reach！〃
〃If you are right； we have forever。 It will do no harm to try once more。〃
Simon； who knew that he had already exerted his powers to the utmost and failed； choked down bitter words。 She was right。 If he were to be any help to his friends； if he were to have even a remote chance to gain revenge for all he and Maegwin and thousands of others had suffered； he must try again…however unlikely success might be。
He tried to empty his mind of all his fears and distractions。 When he had achieved a small measure of calm； he called up the image of the waterwheel； willing it into existence so that it turned in a great smoky circle over the ghostly valley。 Then he summoned the image of his own face； his particular and only face； paying special attention this time to what was behind the features as well； the dreams and thoughts and memories that made him Simon。 He tried to make the shadowy figure bound to the wheel e alive with Simon…ness； but already felt himself at the limits of his strength。
〃Can you help me； Maegwin？〃 As the wheel grew more substantial she had grown dimmer； she was now little more than a glow of hazy light。 〃I can't do it。〃
〃Try。〃
He struggled to keep the wheel before him； tried to summon the pain and terror and unending loneliness that went with it。 For a moment he almost felt the rough wood scraping his back； heard the splashing of the wheels and the grating clash of the great chains； but then it began to slip away once more。 Fading； the wheel trembled like a reflection in a rippling pond。 It had been so close； but now it was receding from his reach。。。。
〃Here； Simon。〃
And suddenly Maegwin's presence was all around him…even； somehow； inside of him。 The glow that she had cradled as long as they spoke she now passed to him； it felt warm as the sun。 〃I think this is why I was brought here to wait。 It is time for me to go on…but it is time for you to return。〃
Her strength filled him。 The wheel； the forge chamber； the gnawing pain of his living body； all the things that at this moment meant life to him were suddenly very close。
But Maegwin herself was far away。 Her next words seemed to e from a great distance； faint and dwindling rapidly。
〃I am going on； Simon。 Take what I give you and use it： I do not need my life any more。 Do what you must。 I pray it will be enough。 If you meet Eolair 。。。 no； I will tell him myself。 Someday。 In another place 。。。〃
Her brave words did not mask her fear。 Simon felt every bit of her terror as she let go and allowed herself to slip away into the dark unknown。
〃Maegwin！ Don't！〃
But she was gone。 The glow she had held was part of Simon； now。 She had given him the only thing she had left…the bravest； most terrible gift of all。 Simon fought as he had never fought before； determined not to waste Maegwin's sacrifice。 Although the living world was so close he could feel it； still some inexplicable barrier separated him from the body he had left behind…but he could not let himself fail。 Using the strength Maegwin had given him； he forced himself closer； embracing the agony； the fear； even the helplessness that would be his if he returned。 There was nothing he could do unless he accepted what was real。 He pushed and felt the barrier ripping。 He pushed again。
Murky gray turned to black； then red。 As he passed back from the nether realms into the waking world； Simon screamed。 He hurt。 Everything hurt。 He was reborn into a world of pain。
The scream continued； rasping from his dried throat and cracked lips。 His hand was on fire； full of scorching agony。
〃Quiet！〃 The frightened voice was very close。 〃I am trying 。。。〃
He was back on the wheel。 His head was pounding； and splintered wood rubbed against his skin。 But what was wrong with his hand？ It felt as though someone were trying to tear it from his wrist with hot pincers。。。
It moved！ He could move his arm！
Again there came a tremulous whisper。 〃The voices say I must hurry。 They will be ing soon。〃
Simon's left arm was free。 As he tried to flex it； a flaming bolt of pain leaped into his shoulder…but the arm moved。 He opened his eyes and goggled dizzily。
A figure hung upside down before him； beyond； the forge cavern itself was inverted as well。 The dark shape was sawing at his right arm with something that caught the gleam of one of the torches at the far side of the cavern。 Who was it？ What was it doing？ Simon could not make his crippled thoughts follow each other。
A throbbing； burning pain now crept into his right hand。 What was happening？
〃You brought me food。 I 。。。 I could not leave you。 But the voices say I must hurry！〃
It was hard to think with both of his arms on fire； but slowly Simon began to understand。 He was hanging head…downward on the wheel。 Someone was cutting him free。 Someone 。。。
〃。。。 Guthwulf。。。 ？〃
〃Soon the others will notice。 They will e。 Do not move…I cannot see and I fear I will cut you。〃 The blind earl was working furiously。
Simon ground his teeth as the blood rushed back into his arms； trying to choke back another scream。 He had not believed such misery was possible。
Free。 It will be worth it。 I'll be free。。。。 He shut his eyes again； his jaws clamped together。 His other arm was loose； and now both dangled beside his head。 The change of position was excruciating。
He dimly heard Guthwulf wade a few steps； then felt the rhythmic sawing begin on his ankle。
Only a few moments； Simon promised himself； trying desperately to stay silent。 He remembered what the chambermaids had told him when； as a child； he had wept over a small hurt。 〃It won't mean anything tomorrow。 You'll be happy then。〃
One ankle came free； and the misery of its release was equaled by the strain now put on the other。 Simon turned his head and sank his teeth into his own shoulder。 Anything to keep from making noise that might bring Inch or his minions。
〃Almost 。。。〃 said Guthwulf hoarsely。 There was an instant of slow movement； a sense of slippage； then Simon abruptly fell。 Stunned； he found himself drowning in cold water。 He thrashed helplessly； but could not feel his limbs。 He did not know which direction was up。
Something grasped his hair and yanked。 A moment later； another hand curled chokingly around his neck beneath his chin。 Simon's mouth came up out of the water； and he gasped in a long breath。 For a moment his face was pressed against Guthwulf's lean stomach while his rescuer struggled to get a better grip。 Then Simon was dragged forward and dumped onto the rim of the sluice； His hands still did not work properly； he clung in place with his elbows； almost oblivious to the shrieking pain of his joints。 He did not want to go back into that water again。
〃We must。。。〃 he heard Guthwulf begin； then the blind man gasped and something smashed against Simon； who slid backward and only barely retained his hold on the edge of the sluice。
〃What happens here？'〃 Inch's voice was a dreadful rumbling growl。 〃You do not touch my kitchen boy！〃
Simon felt hope fade； replaced with sick terror。 How could this happen？ It was wrong！ That he should have e back from death； from nothingness； only to have Inch show up a few moments too soon…how could Fate play such a monstrous trick？
Guthwulf gave a choking cry。 then Simon could hear nothing but frenzied splashing。 He slowly let himself back down until his feet touched the slippery bottom of the sluice。 Putting weight on his wounded legs sent a blinding cloud of black fire through his head and back； but he stood。 After his torments he knew he should not even be able to move； but he still retained some of the strength given to him by Maegwin's sacrifice； he felt it smoldering in him like a low…banked fire。 He forced himself to remain upright in the slow…moving water until he could see again。