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ow C'ezanne to represent a third dimension on his two…dimensional canvas； then you must allow Landseer his gleam of loyalty in the spaniel's eye'。。。but it was not until Sebastian； idly turning the page of Clive Bell's Art； read： 〃'Does anyone feel the same kind of emotion for a butterfly or a flower that he feels for a cathedral or a picture？〃 Yes。 I do；' that my eyes were opened。
I knew Sebastian by sight long before I met him。 That was unavoidable for； from his first week； he was the most conspicuous man of his year by reason of his beauty； which was arresting； and his eccentricities of behaviour； which seemed to know no bounds。 My first sight of him was in the door of Germer's； and； on that occasion； I was struck less by his looks than by the fact that he was carrying a large teddy…bear。
'That；' said the barber； as I took his chair； 'was Lord Sebastian Flyte。 A most amusing young gentleman。'
'Apparently；' I said coldly。
'The Marquis of Marchmain's second boy。 His brother； the Earl of Brideshead； went down last term。 Now he was very different； a very quiet gentleman'； quite like an old man。 What do you suppose Lord Sebastian wanted？ A hair brush for his teddybear； it had to have very stiff bristies； not； Lord Sebastian said； to brush him with； but to threaten him with a spanking when he was sulky。 He bought a very nice one with an ivory back and he's having 〃Aloysius〃 engraved on it' … that's the bear's name。' The man； who； in his time； had had ample chance to tire of undergraduate fantasy； was plainly…captivated。 I； however； remained censorious； and subsequent glimpses of him； driving in a hansom cab and dining at the George in false whiskers； did not soften me； although Collins； who was reading Freud； had a number of technical terms to cover everything。
Nor； when at last we met； were the circumstances propitious。 It was shortly before midnight in early March； I had been entertaining the college intellectuals to mulled claret； the fire was roaring； the air of my room heavy with smoke and spice； and my mind weary with metaphysics。 I threw open my windows and from the quad outside came the not unmon sound of bibulous laughter and unsteady steps。 A voice said： 'Hold up'； another； 'e on'； another； 'Plenty of time。。。House。。。till Tom stops ringing'； and another； clearer than the rest； 'D'you know I feel most unaccountably unwell。 I must leave you a minute；' and there appeared at my window the face I knew to be Sebastian's； but not； as I had formerly seen it； alive and alight with gaiety； he looked at me for a moment with unfocused eyes and then； leaning forward well into the room； he was sick。
It was not unusual for dinner parties to end in that way； there was in fact a recognized tariff for the scout on such occasions； we were all learning； by trial and error； to carry our wine。 There was also a kind of insane and endearing orderliness about Sebastian's choice； in his extremity； of an open window。 But； when all is said； it remained an unpropitious meeting。
His friends bore him to the gate and； in a few minutes； his host； an amiable Etonian of my year； returned to apologize。 He； too； was tipsy and his explanations were repetitive and； towards the end； tearful。 'The wines were too various；' he said： 'it was neither the quality nor the quantity that was at fault。 It was the mixture。 Grasp that and you have the root of the matter。 To understand all is to forgive all。'
'Yes；' I said； but it was with a sense of grievance that I faced Lunt's reproaches next morning。
'A couple of jugs of mulled claret between the five of you；' Lunt said； 'and this had to happen。 Couldn't even get to the window。 Those that can't keep it down are better without it。'
'It wasn't one of my party。 It was someone from out of college。'
'Well； it's just as nasty clearing it up； whoever it was。'
'There's five shillings on the sideboard。'
'So I saw and thank you； but I'd rather not have the money and not have the mess； any morning。'
I took my gown and left him to his task。 I still frequented the lecture…room in those days； and it was after eleven when I returned to college。 I found my room full of flowers； what looked like； and； in fact； was； the entire day's stock of a market…stall stood in every conceivable vessel in every part of the room。 Lunt was secreting the last of them in brown paper preparatory to taking them home。
'Lunt； what is all this？'
'The gentleman from last night； sir； he left a note for you。'
The note was written in cont？crayon on a whole sheet of my choice Whatman H。P。 drawing paper： I am very contrite。 Aloysius won't speak to me until he sees I am forgiven； so please e to luncheon today。 Sebastian Flyte。 It was typical of him； I reflected； to assume I knew where he lived； but； then； I did know。
'A most amusing gentleman； I'm sure it's quite a pleasure to clean up after him。 I take it you're lunching out； sir。 I told Mr Collins and Mr Partridge so … they wanted to have their mons in here with you。'
'Yes； Lunt； lunching out。'
That luncheon party … for party it proved to be … was the beginning o f a new epoch in my life。
I went there uncertainly； for it was foreign ground and there was a tiny； priggish； warning voice in my ear which in the tones of Collins told me it was seemly to hold back。 But I was in search of love in those days； and I went full of curiosity and the faint； unrecognized apprehension that here； at last； I should find that low door in the wall； which others； I knew had found before me； which opened on an enclosed and enchanted garden； which was somewhere； not overlooked by any window； in the heart of that grey city。
Sebastian lived at Christ Church； high in Meadow Buildings。 He was alone when I came； peeling a plover's egg taken from the large nest of moss in the centre of his table。
'I've just counted them；' he said。 'There were five each and two over； so I'm having the two。 I'm unaccountably hungry today。 I put myself unreservedly in the hands of Dolbear and Goodall； and feel so drugged that I've begun to believe that the whole of yesterday evening was a dream。 Please don't wake me up。
He was entrancing； with that epicene beauty which in extreme youth sings aloud for love and withers at the first cold wind。
His room was filled with a。 strange jumble of objects … a harmonium in a gothic case； an elephant's…foot waste…paper basket； a dome of wax fruit； two disproportionately large S鑦res vases； framed drawings by Daumier … made all the more incongruous by the austere college furniture and the large luncheon table。 His chimney…piece was covered in cards of invitation from London hostesses。
'That beast Hobson has put Aloysius next door；' he said。 'Perhaps it's as well； as there wouldn't have been any plovers' eggs for him。 D'you know； Hobson hates Aloysius。 I wish I had a scout like yours。 He was sweet to me this morning where some people might have been quite strict。'
The party assembled。 There were three Etonian freshmen； mild； elegant； detached young men who had all been to a dance in London the night before； and spoke of it as though it had been the funeral of a near but unloved kinsman。 Each as he came into the room made first for the plovers' eggs； then noticed Sebastian and then myself with a polite lack of curiosity which seemed to say： 'We should not dream of being so offensive as to suggest that you never met us before。'
'The first this year；' they said。 'Where do you get them？'
'Mummy sends them from Brideshead。 They always lay early for her。'
When the eggs were gone and we were eating the lobster Newburg； the last guest arrived。
'My dear；' he said； 'I couldn't get away before。 I was lunching with my p…p…preposterous tutor。 He thought it 'was very odd my leaving when I did。 I told him I had to change for F…f…footer。'
He was tall； slim； rather swarthy； with large saucy eyes。 The rest of us wore rough tweeds and brogues。 He had on a smooth chocolate…brown suit with loud white stripes； su鑔e shoes； a large bow…tie and he drew off yellow； wash…leather gloves as he came into the room； part Gallic； part Yankee； part； perhaps Jew； wholly exotic。
This； I did not need telling； was Anthony Blanche； the 'aesthete' par excellence； a byword of iniquity from Cherwell Edge to Somerville。 He had been pointed out to me often in the streets； as he pranced along with his high peacock tread； I had heard his voice in the George challenging the conventions； and now meeting him； under the spell of Sebastian； I found myself enjoying him voraciously。
After luncheon he stood on； the balcony with a megaphone which had appeared surprisingly among the bric…a…brac of Sebastian's room； and in languishing tones recited passages from The Waste Land to the sweatered and muffled throng that was on its way to the river。
'I； Tiresias； have foresuffered all；' he sobbed to them from the Venetian arches；
'Enacted on this same d…divan or b…bed；
I who have sat by Thebes below the wall
And walked among the 1…1…lowest of the dead。。。'
And then； stepping lightly into the room； 'How I have surprised them！ All b…boatmen are Grace Darlings to me。 '
We sat on sipping Cointreau w