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zed up at me； and the look in his eyes was enough。 I knew he felt the hunger； too。
〃It feels hot；〃 I said。 〃Always before your power has felt cool； or cold even。 It's Richard's beast that holds the heat。〃
〃Lust is warm； ma petite； even among the cold…blooded。〃
I turned towards the bed and was suddenly very aware that I was nude； I was really going to have to get a robe。 It wasn't Jean…Claude's gaze that made me look away； it was Nathaniel and Jason。 Everyone in this room responded to me； in different ways； for very different reasons。 But it was all fodder for this 。。。 need inside me。
Asher made some small movement that drew my attention back to him。 I started to reach for him； to push his robe from his shoulders； to watch it fall to the floor。 I hugged my arms to me； as if I was cold； but I wasn't cold。 It was my turn not to trust where my hands were。 The temptation was so thick every where I looked that there seemed no place to walk in safety。 I felt trapped。 Trapped； not in the room； but in the desire。
When I was sure I could talk without sounding as confused as I felt； I asked 〃Is this thing permanent； or will it go away when we all adjust to the marks being married？〃
〃I do not know； ma petite。 I wish I could tell you something more certain。 If you were truly of my get； truly vampire； then I would say； yes； it is permanent。 But you are my human servant。 You have manifested powers in the past； and some have e and gone。〃 He raised his hands。 〃There is no way to be sure。〃
〃Is it always like this； never satisfied； never finished？〃
〃No； you can sate yourself； but it takes much to do it。 Usually； one must be content with enough to keep the desire from overwhelming you。〃
〃And you haven't fed like this in months； because you thought I would disapprove？〃
〃Years。 And yes。〃
I stared at him across the room with Asher still kneeling in front of me。 I'd always thought of Jean…Claude as the weaker…willed of the three of us Richard； him； and me。 Now I stood there afraid to move； afraid not to move； wanting to do things that were not me； not mine； not even Jean…Claude's。 I'd known that the lycanthropes spoke of their animal half as something separate from them their beast but I'd never understood that some of the vampires' powers were the same way。 Desires； hungers； so strong and overwhelming that they were like separate beings trapped inside your head； your body； your blood。
Asher made a small movement； and I turned to him。 My hand reached out to stroke his hair before I'd turned pletely to face him； as if my body had been moving without my eyes or my brain。 His hair was thicker textured； more like mine； not the baby…fine curls of Jean…Claude or Jason； or the velvet silk of Nathaniel。 I bundled my hands into Asher's hair as if I'd memorize the feel of it。 Somewhere between mine and Richard's； somewhere in the middle； but not warm like Richard's was to the touch。 Asher hadn't fed today； and he had no warmth to give。 His skin was cool under my fingertips as I traced his cheek。
I spoke without looking at Jean…Claude。 〃How have you stood it？ How could you fight the need all this time？〃
〃You are a fledgling； ma petite。 Your control will never be weaker than now。 I have had centuries to practice my control。〃
I made myself stop petting Asher。 But he took my hand as I moved it back and laid a gentle kiss on my knuckles。 Even that small touch made me catch my breath。 My voice came out weak。 〃So you can go without feeding the desire。〃
〃No； ma petite。〃
I turned and stared at him； and Asher rubbed his thumb in small circles on my hand。 I remembered that small touch as precious； a habit he had no matter which of us he held hands with。 〃You said you hadn't fed like this。〃
〃I have had no sex； nor touched anyone in such a plete manner as you have done with Nathaniel。 But I must feed the desire； just as I must take blood。〃
〃What happens if you don't？〃
〃You remember what happened to Sabin when he stopped taking human blood？〃
I nodded。 Asher's thumb continued its small circle on my hand； and it made things low in my body tighten。 〃Sabin started to rot while he was still alive。〃 I stared into Jean…Claude's perfect face。 〃Is that what would happen to you？〃
He sat back on the bed in his black robe。 Jason had moved against the headboard as if watching a show； and Nathaniel still lay on his stomach where I'd left him； watching us with pale eyes。 〃There was a vampire of Belle's lineage who renounced the lust。 He took only animals； as well； and I believe would have rotted as Sabin did； but he did not have the time。 He began to age in a matter of days。 When he was a wizened thing； Belle had him killed。〃
〃But you haven't aged； what have you been doing？〃 It wasn't accusatory。 I simply wanted to know； because I could feel Asher on the end of my hand like something huge and 。。。 like something I couldn't live without。 I'd wanted Nathaniel； I'd wanted Jason； I'd wanted Micah； but not like this。 I think it was Jean…Claude's feelings that made this so much more。
〃It is possible to feed from a distance without touching；〃 Jean…Claude said。
〃That's why a strip club was your first business。 You were feeding off the lust。〃
〃Oui； ma petite。〃
〃Teach me to feed from a distance。〃 Even as I said distance Asher drew my hand to his cheek and rubbed against it like a cat。 I had to close my eyes for a second； but I didn't tell him to stop。
〃Feeding from a distance is a poor substitute for a true feeding。〃
I opened my eyes and stared at him across the room； and now I could feel him。 I could feel his need for blood； sex； love； and the touch of our flesh against his。 He wrapped his arms around his body； as if he were cold； or didn't trust himself not to leave the bed and e to us。
〃Teach me anyway；〃 I said。
〃I cannot； not this soon。 In a few nights I will instruct you； but your control is not 。。。 plete enough yet。〃
I started to say； 〃try me；〃 but Asher drew my finger into his mouth in one long； wet line； and I suddenly couldn't think。
〃e to bed； ma petite；〃 Jean…Claude said。 〃If you feed here； there is a chance you may be sated enough that you will not press our so…stubborn Richard。〃
The thought was enough to dim the desire for a moment or two。 I drew my hand away from Asher； and he didn't protest。 The sheer horror of what I'd be like around Richard with this inside me helped me think。 Being around him normally made me want sex； but now 。。。 〃My God； I'll be lucky if I don't just strip down and do him in the lupanar。〃 I stared at Jean…Claude。 〃What do I do？〃
〃I say again； ma petite； if you feed now off of such rich fare； you may be too full to need to feed again so soon。 It is all I can offer you for tonight。 You could simply delay the meeting for a few nights。〃
I shook my head。 〃They'll kill Gregory。 I have to get him out tonight。〃
〃Then e and feed。〃
〃Define feed？〃
〃Drink their lust；〃 he said。
I looked at Jason and Nathaniel； and they weren't even trying for neutral。 The looks on their faces brought heat in a rush up my face。 I shook my head。
〃You do not have to have intercourse to feed from them； as you have discovered。〃
〃Aww；〃 Jason said； but the look on his face didn't match the light teasing of his voice。 They were responding to my need； the way I'd responded for so long to Jean…Claude's； drawn like a moth to a flame。 You just couldn't help wanting to touch it； even when you knew it would burn。
Asher stood。 〃I will leave you alone。 But with permission； I would feed on Nathaniel as my pomme de sang for the day。〃
〃No；〃 I said。
His eyes widened just a touch； face going neutral； eyes empty and cool as a spring sky。 I felt him draw away from me。 〃As you wish。〃 He turned for the door。
I grabbed his hand； slid my fingers between his。 〃e to bed； Asher。〃
I'd thought his face was as blank and careful as it could get。 I was wrong。 His voice held nothing when he asked； 〃What do you mean？〃
〃I can't give you back what you had。 I can't even give you 。。。 〃 I stopped and tried again。 〃But I can let you feed together again。〃
〃How？〃
〃If Nathaniel says it's okay； you can take blood from him； and Jean…Claude will take blood from Jason。 You can feed together。〃
〃Do you know how intimate a thing it is to feed together on your pomme de sang？ A pomme de sang is not a casual feeding； it is intimate； to be shared only with intimate panions。〃
I entwined my fingers around his hand。 〃I know。〃 I took a step towards the bed； drawing him with me。 〃Let us feed on your lust； Asher； as in days of old。〃
Asher stared past me at Jean…Claude。 〃The last time two fed from my desire； it was Belle and you。〃
〃I remember；〃 Jean…Claude said softly。
He held his hand out to Asher from across the room； and I was reminded of him reaching for Asher all those centuries ago。 〃Let it be again as it was before； but better this time。 Anita loves you as you are now； not as some ideal thing like a butterfly on a pin to be tossed aside if a wing falls away。 e to us； Asher； e to us both。〃
Asher smiled； then took a step to be beside me。 He offered me his arm in a very old…fashioned gesture。 I wanted to take his arm； to have an excuse to rub my body against his as we walked； and that was why I